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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really p****d off at sahm neighbour upstairs who is making me want to clobber her!!

135 replies

itbird · 24/05/2007 21:23

try to brief - i have ds(2) and DD(10) i go to work five days a week out of the flat by 7.45am, drop ds at cm and dd at school, i come home and elephant woman sahm sunbathing all afternoon, her kids coming in my garden, her drinking wine all afternoon, on benefits that i pay for, then i have the stomping about and screaming kids til at least 9pm!!!i no longer talk to her as i complained and she turned quite nasty and wanted to argue the toss about it on the doorstep, i could complain to landlord about it, if it gets much worse over the summer i probably will, ok calm now that i have got that off my chest!!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 25/05/2007 19:02

you sound rather jealous to me

shame

poor you

fillyjonk · 25/05/2007 19:00

its not at all a difficult concept no

its just a rather patronising and rude one

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 18:58

Thanks guys for your support, i did not attack people on benefits, i said i was contributing to the welfaare state by working which in turn allows her to o sit around drinkng wine and sunbathing while i was at work, is that a difficult concept for some of you to understand. the repercussions of her failure to contribute is that she makes god awful noise without a care for anyone else. That is linked in my opinion, if she had to contribute by working she would not be sitting around all day reading take a break and getting sloshed.

OP posts:
DeviousDaffodil · 25/05/2007 18:36

OP - you have my sympathy.
And sorry but there are loads of lazyites like she describes out there. I come across tehm everyday.
There are decent people on benefits doing a good job of parenting.
Tehn there are SAHM who are not being Mums at all. They do just chuck their kids in the street and don't give a toss where they are.
I have sympathy for the OP neighbours from hell can drive you to distraction.
And people who work do pay for the benefits that is what income tax is.

fillyjonk · 25/05/2007 18:19

I think the difficulty is that the OP seems to feel that the neighbour being a SAHM and on benefits is somehow relevant.

Fine to moan about noisy neighbours, not so fine to chuck in an attack on SAHM and people on benefits IMO.

lyrabelacqua · 25/05/2007 18:16

I don't get why everyone is having a go at the OP. She was just having a rant, like we all do from time to time.
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, they sound like a nightmare. We've got horrible neighbours who don't speak to us but at least they're quiet (no children, no loud music).
Not really sure what you can do about it though, apart from reporting the noise to the council.

kimi · 25/05/2007 17:50

talking about noisy neighbours on 5 news now.

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 17:45

what annoys me is the intrusion into my peace, you know when you get the kids to bed, want to sit and relax, then you have to listen to someone elses kids and parent making noise like they live in a detached house, its the lack of consideration. Shoot me for saying this but if she had a job then she would get her kids to bed at a reasonable time as she would have to get up in the morning, its a different way of life when you work

OP posts:
kimi · 25/05/2007 17:30

I also know what it is like to have bad neighbours as we had some backing on to us that were just the family from hell, We got them kicked out in the end as we found out they were housing association and sent in a petition to have them moved [god help who has them now] they used to play loud music, fight and row and swear in the garden all the time, steal cars and burn bits of them in the garden, and the police were forever there.

Everyone was so glad when they were removed.

kimi · 25/05/2007 17:24

itbird and nixz, i totally see what you are saying, and I agree that some people "play" the system.

I used to work in a pub and one family I knew quite well were forever propping up the bar, neither mum or dad worked, he was "on the sick" and she was his "carer" when their 15 year old daughter had twins they would bring the babies in to the smoky pub and sit there drinking most of the day, people like this piss me off.
My sister who has worked since leaving school and pays 40% tax has cancer, she had to give up work and it was hell trying to get any sickness benefit, she was treated like a 3rd class person and after 3 months got a whopping £44 a week!!!

She is now working again, our parents taught us there is no free ride in life, you want things you work for them.
The system that was set up to help people who truly need it like my sis did for a time is not working because too many people see it as a right to have a free ride.

At the moment I am a SAHM, but I do not claim benefits, I am very very lucky DP has a very good job, but will be going back to work soon as I have always paid my way and see no reason not to.

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 17:19

good for you hercules but are you a nuisance neighbour, that was my original gripe, couldnt give a ff about sahm's nothing to do with me or mine

OP posts:
lulumama · 25/05/2007 17:17

nuisance neighbours and SAHMs can be mutually exclusive!!

hercules1 · 25/05/2007 17:16

I'm not a sahm

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 17:15

cheers mishw, thought i had gone onto a forum for sahm with a sack of spuds on their shoulders. Thank you for understanding the wildness that nuisance neighbours can cause XX

OP posts:
Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 17:10

it means the same - obviously i dont pay for all of her benefits - that implies that i am the sole tax payer of the uk, gosh even i dont earn that much. Do you want a sub til your benefits are paid? Miaow!!!!

OP posts:
mishw · 25/05/2007 17:08

I think everyone is being too hard on the OP - sometimes people just want to have a rant. To those of you offended by her have you ever been in a similar situation - if not then you are not really able to comment.

Our neighbours are also the neighbours from hell though things have quietened down recently.

She is also a (I won't say SAHM) non working mother - officially. Apparently the work she does all evening is voluntarty. Her two teenage daughters were a nightmare with their loud parites waking me, DH and DDs up, that has since been dealt with so things are better.

What really pisses me off is that she gets everything paid for by the state (not a problem for those who genuinely need it - she doesn;t she needs to get off her arse and go and get a proper job) and manages to have a very nice holiday abroad every year - something that me and DH are unable to do as we have to pay for everything. Maybe we too should stop working and claim for what we are entitled too.

And before anyone has a go at me I have claimed benefits in the past (and am also trying to do at the moment), however as soon as I am able to I will be back at work, working my arse off trying to be a good role model for my 2DD and paying back into the system that has helped me.

To itbird and nixz, I hope you manage to fins a way to resolve the problems with your neighbours soon.

Mrbatters · 25/05/2007 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 17:02

have you ever had a noisy neighbour? of course i would never go and actually clobber her but it drives you to despair to listen to the thumping, even if i turn the tv right up i can still hear the vibrations. oh to have peace loving neightbours like you lot lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 16:59

oh dont you pay income tax then? what i said was that i contribute to the system that is in place.

OP posts:
hercules1 · 25/05/2007 16:55

I hate violence and find that worse than someone being a sahm and on benefits.

Mrbatters · 25/05/2007 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 16:48

She doesnt work at all, we are a friendly bunch round here and i was good friends with her until the noise issue, her children are nearly four and nearly five.
Just come back from work, toddler group collecting dd from school, shopping, she i ssitting in car park reading a magazine,not a problem but then we get ambushed by her kids when we try to go indoors. why cant she take her kids to the park, its been like this for weeks - none of this is to do with benefits but if she her rent and basic expenses are being covered then where is the incentive to get a life and letting everyone else here enjoy a peace life !!

OP posts:
akaJamiesMum · 25/05/2007 16:05

Nope - it was me who said "some people play the system" - not referring to this lady who I don't know. However, in the interests of keeping the benefits system going (and I fully support this) then we have to accept that some people will never contribute anything to that system. There are a myriad of reasons why people don't contribute - but that could be a whole other thread.

Nuisence neighbours on the other hand are a pain in the backside of everyone around them.This lady would probably be an equal pain even if she were working.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 25/05/2007 13:15

How do you even know what she does?
Maybe she works unsociable hours, maybe she works from home.
Noise from neighbours is a different matter to commenting on their lifestyle and making sweeping statements.

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 12:55

how old are her ds'?