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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really p****d off at sahm neighbour upstairs who is making me want to clobber her!!

135 replies

itbird · 24/05/2007 21:23

try to brief - i have ds(2) and DD(10) i go to work five days a week out of the flat by 7.45am, drop ds at cm and dd at school, i come home and elephant woman sahm sunbathing all afternoon, her kids coming in my garden, her drinking wine all afternoon, on benefits that i pay for, then i have the stomping about and screaming kids til at least 9pm!!!i no longer talk to her as i complained and she turned quite nasty and wanted to argue the toss about it on the doorstep, i could complain to landlord about it, if it gets much worse over the summer i probably will, ok calm now that i have got that off my chest!!

OP posts:
nightowl · 25/05/2007 20:40

lock the door then?

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 20:38

nightowl, the stick is the lifestyle, the carpark, the walking in my flat uninvited, the kids asking me for ice lollies etc while mummy darling is sitting sunbathing etc etc.

OP posts:
nightowl · 25/05/2007 20:37

i dont know nappy, havent checked it yet .

mishw, it wasnt about the noise. good luck claiming benefit, you see how differently you get treated then. walk a mile.

mishw · 25/05/2007 20:34

You know what itbird, it probably isn't worth it. They obviously don't have neighbours like yours. If your are anything like mine it isn't that they don't realise that they are making a noise and disturbing people its that they don't care.

If I were you I would try and talk to her again but if that doesn't work then complain. Why should you have to suffer.

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 20:34

btw nightowl did you get my email?

nightowl · 25/05/2007 20:33

whats the stick? the benefit? or the noise?

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 20:31

sticks to beat you with, you know ammunition, dont give people the ammunition, basically keep yourself to yourself that sort of thing, another one, dont poo on your own doorstep

OP posts:
Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 20:29

lol yeah actually got my boys jcb digger, doing a lovely job babyblue

OP posts:
nightowl · 25/05/2007 20:28

what do you mean "dont give them sticks!"

nightowl · 25/05/2007 20:28

how is being on benefit important in that particular rant exactly then?

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 20:28

Good for you Nightowl, again i say its the nuisance issue not benefits issue, its a stick to beat people with if they pee you off, advice dont give them sticks, be a considerate neighbour most of the time and you havent got a problem,

OP posts:
babyblue2 · 25/05/2007 20:27

ok.... so maybe the op isn't rightly skirting around the issues raised. Would you like a shovel itbird?

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 20:26

i used to live next door to a family who were really noisy. their kids would run up and down the stairs and it would make a right racket. then when my mum went round to say something she discovered it was because they had no carpet and probably couldn't afford it.

she never did complain and ended up asking them over for a bbq!

i remember the man who lived belowe my dad shouting at me and my sister when we went downstairs to go to the newsagents and said if we weren't quiter he'd get my dad kicked out. we went back upstairs in tears. we were just making the general noise of 2 young children that happened to be amplified because the floors and ceilings weren't very good.

also coming from a family that used to row and argue and make lots of noise i would be more tolerant, yes.

i really do think they might not be making excessive noise but it is maybe amplified because of thin ceilings.

mishw · 25/05/2007 20:26

sorry nightowl I disagree BF is totally different.

As I mentioned before, I am a SAHM and I am also in the middle of trying to claim benefits. If the op had said that all sahm on benfits were like this then I would have said something, however she was referring to her neighbour - someone she knows and has to deal with on a daily basis. As part of her rant she was filling in some background details which she felt important to her.

nightowl · 25/05/2007 20:23

so itbird, i was right all along. clearly you have a problem with benefit. when are you going to listen, get off your high horse and understand that some people have no choice but to claim benefit. for your information ive worked my arse off for years but have had to claim it twice!

dont be so patronising, i dont let my kids wander around the streets all day. being on benefit didnt change me!

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 20:19

Yes nappy sure you would be really tolerant if it was you

OP posts:
Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 20:17

Or is it a parenting issue, perhaps she needs a routine or something other than a car park in her life

OP posts:
babyblue2 · 25/05/2007 20:16

I see we've crossed posts. I am SAHM and thats where the similarity ends.

nappyaddict · 25/05/2007 20:16

if he didn't go to a childminder i would keep him up every night though. if i don't have to get up at 7am then i'm not going to. so i can totally see why you're neighbour keeps her kids up. some kids just aren't tired before that. it's nothing to do with her whether you have to get up and its not her fault if the ceilings are crap, same as its nothing to do with you if she wants to sunbathe and sip wine all afternoon.

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 20:15

Nightowl, if they worked their way of live would be different, you wouldnt be hanging around a car park all day everyday letting your kids play there, because you would have a job, you dont need to have a job because the welfare state pays for you to sit in said car park and intrude on peaceful neighbours life. Or even take said kids to park, lovely one 100 yds from here !! Dont get it, i really dont get what you dont understand

OP posts:
babyblue2 · 25/05/2007 20:15

You will see mishw that since my first post i haven't actually responded to the op because she has explained herself, i was actually responding to you as you appear to be the one who is continuing the discussion as to whether the op was right or wrong in stating SAHM etc. and not the op who is now rightly skirting past any comments people are making. Suggest you do the same and there'll be no need for people to respond.

fillyjonk · 25/05/2007 20:14

people are allowed to rant. there are no rant police

equally, if they say offensive things when ranting, they will be pulled up

as itbird has

the fact that this woman is a SAHM and on benefits is utterly irrelevant

if you think you should get a say in how your taxes are spent dependant on how much tax you pay-where does it stop? Do drinkers and smokers and 4x4 drivers get more of a say than the rest of us? Becuase they pay more tax!

Original poster
itbird · 25/05/2007 20:11

babyblue if you are a sahm on benefits and are a nuisance neighbour, then i am glad i have offended you, guess what you are a nightmare!! If you are not all three then any offence taken i sincerely regret

OP posts:
mishw · 25/05/2007 20:11

see itbirds last comment to nappy as an example

nightowl · 25/05/2007 20:10

mishw..i see what you're saying. but if someone was slating a noisy neighbour and mentioned that she was also a breastfeeder, do you not think that people would post and say "how totally irrelevant is that"?

crap example, but benefits are irrelevant.

oh and i rant constantly about my neighbours, most of who are on benefit. but i never mention that in a post, why should i? it has nothing to do with the way they conduct their lives. some people just are cheeky, ignorant and ill mannered. some people were cheeky, ignorant and ill mannered where i used to live, in a mortgaged house on an estate full of working parents.