To be angry that DP took DS (2.5) out and didn't get home until 12.30am?

bozza - I addressed that issue earlier - take the children with you.

I think what would p*iss me off is that fact that chatty didnt know that was what he was going to do. If I had left DH with the los and knew he was going out with them, I would feel like I knew what was going on and could make sure they had everything he needed.

But to come home and not know where they were would really scare me.

If I left DH thinking that he was putting dc to bed like normal, then I would expect him to ring and talk to me if he decided to go out. I would do the same to him. Have to say, I dontthink I would want him to or would do it myself as my ds really struggles if he doesnt get enough sleep and I dont think it is fair on him just to watch a bit of footie, but then I hate football . I have kept them up late if we are occationally visiting friends far away or when we drive down to inlaws but then they sleep in the car.

I do think a night out with his dad is ok but as someone else said, hope thety were careful with toddlers about.

So no, not unreasonable.

Rethink the way you organise your day/your home/what you do with your time. It doesn't actually have to cost a penny.

Why don't you start by writing down (for yourself) how your life is organised so that you actually become fully conscious of the way you live? And then, once it's written down, start to play with it... change the time you do things, where you shop, which playground you take your child to, sort out all your possessions and change where they are in the house...

Just physically changing your environment can shake you out of a rut and get you moving again.

Sorry, it has moved on. chattyhan he is being selfish and inconsiderate. Not sure what to advise.

Anna lots and lots of couples go out more seperately than together. I have been out with DH twice this year (both this month as it happens). I have been out without him many more times. It is a babysitting issue.

what would he like you to do?

The real issue is not your son being out late, it is your lack of communication and understanding eachothers needs.

I'm with twig here. Yes, keep your DC up on special occasions. But if he is the one who kept his son up for 5 hours, he should be the one who is dealing with the fallout the next day, not his pg partner. And how special an occasion is Liverpool loosing to AC Milan anyway?

I kept my children up last night. They are both usually in bed for 7.30. But DS (6) was in bed for 8.30 and DD (3) for 9. This was because I took them to meet their newborn cousin and had to wait until after school. The reason DD was asleep later is because she slept for about 1 hour in the car on the way over.

I think hols are different because you can gradually alter the routine, have siestas etc.

It's unfair and unsustainable if your DP goes out almost every night without you. Nights out apart ought IMO to be quite infrequent compared to nights out together. You ought to be spending most evenings together in one shape or form, unless one of you is away for work.

Why don't you instigate a revolution in your household? Shake everything up? Could be so much fun...

Chattyhan - honesty, i htink everything you have spoted in that latest post are more important than the one late night - and you have grounds to be aggrieved - really you do. Somehow he needs to adjust his attitude, understanding and maturity. But how?

you need to tell him all of this

but not in an acusing manner "you focker, you never mop the floor" etc

but try and do it calmly

say "I feel" instead of "you make me" etc

then he doesn't feel picked on

works in this house

All the kids on DPs side of the family stay up alte or very late on family occasions - it's cultural, it would be considered most odd to remove the kids and put them to bed. The kids get used to staying up without getting tired, and crucially, sleeping in the next morning or catching up the next day. All the kids on my side of the family (including me wheni was little) have had strictly observed bedtimes. i now cannot sleep in late in the mornoings, and all are terrible if their rutine gets broken. DPs family find it easy to be v flexible without geting ratty. It's no bad thing, imo!

Once in a blue moon, on a 'special' night out, it's fine. And last night was some major kind of footie match, wasn't it?

I'd look at the balance of childcare and who gets timne off in general, though. It sounds as if DH gets more than his fair share, and you, less.

chattyhan you should arrange to go out exactly the same amount of time.

we have roughly one night a week each in which I go see my mates and him his. it is obviously not a strickt rule but I'd hit the roof if he even dares stay out every other day. I think it is respect really.

why could he go out all this nights while you put the kids to bed etc???

if it was italians he was with I doubt there there was nuch drinking tbh.

OO- yes agree with all you said

Twiglett, I'm with you on this one. DS is so tired by 7 that he often asks to go for a bath and a story around 6 - that isn't cruelty by sticking rigidly to a routine, it's listening to my child's needs. He'd be in pieces by midnight. And he's not an early riser, usually awake around 7 am, sometimes 6.30, sometimes 8.

I'm a firm believer in children needing lots of sleep to help their brains digest what they've seen and experienced during the day, and to help them rest and grow. I find the later DS goes to bed, the more likely he is to wake early as well.

Twig I cannot agree here.

occasional night out with daddy - he feels special.

no harm done.

Every night or regular - perhaps not a good idea.

My kids regularly stay up until past midnight in the holidays and as far as I am aware are doing perfectly well!

well

depends on what was happening at this other house

if it was football, I imagine lots of drinking, smoking and swearing (or is that just here ?)

so I guess that isn't a place for a toddler

HOWEVER, if they toned things down, I can imagine a toddler being THRILLED to be up with his dad and friends. And being excited would keep him awake

I think the issue here is that a) you are not getting on and b) you are pregnant and deserve more consideration

I think a sit down and a long chat is in order