To wonder if

some people are so cheeky

helen, even worse if they try to sell them back to you! Now don't misunderstand, my friend gave the clothes to her friend to do what she wanted with them, but no way was she going to buy back what was originally her own property anyway! It was only babygros and vests etc, not the latest designer gear - my friend just said no thanks and bought new for her third baby.

I keep things that are special to me and maybe I am mean but I wont lend them to anyone but if I give anything to anyone then I dont expect it back although would probably be a bit if it was later sold

my friend lent me first baby clothes, as she went on to have 2 more dc, and knew she probably would. i ironed labels into them, she was very kind.
but ordinarily it seems very petty to want them back to give to a charity of your choice...

I think you are being unreasonable, if my dd1 had outgrown some clothes I would happily lend them to someone who was a bit younger than her, but would like them back for dd2.

i dont think it unreasonable to lend if it was stated at the time, if someone else can use while you're not whats the problem. I kept all dds stuff till i found out my 2nd dc was a boy and then gave/sold it all! i did lend some stuff to my auntie in the meantime and got it back, but then had a boy and have given away to somebody else!

I don't really see why it's "reasonable" to keep all your baby clothes bagged up in the loft between DC1 and DC2, but "unreasonable" to lend them to someone who could really use them over the same period. Small babies only get to wear most things a few times anyway, so there's plenty of wear left in them.

It is a bit odd to want clothes back not for another DC but so that you can donate them to a specific charity, mind. Although if she's a serious activist for the charity in question then it makes more sense, I suppose.

I lent out DS's clothes (but I labelled them myself to save the new parent the bother) because I wanted them back for no.2. When I knew DD was to be my last baby I gave everything else away, except some equipment, ie my pram which is now on its 4th child, and I will have that back for my sister to keep at my mum's - if she ever gets around to having children! But Mum and Dad bought us the pram in the first place and will appreciate a spare at theirs.

lending baby clothes is completely unreasonable imo unless its something like a christening robe. just give them or keep them.

Gosh, I've never heard of anyone lending baby clothes! If a person is so attached to them or wants to use them for their own subsequent children then don't let them go in the first place.

I thought I was being unreasonable to harbour a bit of a grudge against my SiL as I LENT her mat clothes and my very beautiful, handstiched by me, moses basket.

Never saw them or it again

i have been given heaps of clothes by my bf and a couple of other mates.

i always return them when dd has outgrown them. in fact i dropped a bag around the other day and bf was very pleased as another good friend of hers now has a 4 month old dd.

i just say thanks very much, i'll return them when she's grown out of them at the time they are given.

i have passed stuff on too and specifically have asked my friends to return some pieces but tell them to pass on the other stuff.

older, less nice/expensive things get sorted into charity bags.

it's just like anything of this nature, communication is the key.

It does seem odd to want them back. I pass DD1's stuff on to my SIL for my nieces the eldest of whom is 15 months younger than my DD, and her sister is 3 yrs younger than her, so all 3 get wear out of the clothes. I will admit I only give her the nice stuff in excellent condition, and the rest gets sorted into charity shop or recycling, depending on the condition. I always say to SIL to do what she likes with anything that doesn't fit/she doesn't like etc and would never ask for anything back once it has been given. That just seems mean. It's a bit different if it's equipment like a pram or a cot - you can lend those things without giving them away, but clothing seems a bit petty.

My friend gave a bag of baby clothes to another friend. The other friend then tried to SELL them back when the first got pregnant again. Bloomin cheek!

I lent a Fisher Price swing to a friend of my daughter when she had her baby. This was made clear at the time, it was expensive and I wanted to keep it, but I have never seen it again. I feel too embarrassed now to ask for it back.

i had a similar situation, though not with clothes it was with a pushchair. i had already been give the car seat to go with it (it was 3-in-1 jobbie) and then ended up being given the rest of the buggy i was tol at the time - you might as well have the pushchair you already have the carseat. to cut a v.long story short, it cost her a friendship ( it was the 3rd time she'd badly hurt me) and it blackened my name where i work as well as worsening my pnd.

if something is given, then there is no right on the giver's part to ask for the item to be returned. if, however, it was merely lent (and this is clear on both sides) and is lent only for a short time, i.e., for a few months (less than a year) then yes, the item should be given back. but if, as posted, that the items are hand-me-downs, then it is a bit more difficult.

it is a very good idea to sort things out at the time.

I can't imagine why you would bother to 'lend' hand-me-downs. They're a gift and people hand them on or give them to charity as they see fit. It seems bizarrely controlling to give hand-me-downs and then ask for them back so YOU can give them to charity.

My SIL has given me some lovely dresses that their middle dd has grown out of - nothing is ever said but I know which ones she wants back for the toddler when my dd has grown out of them.

I only give away things I don't mind not getitng back, though some things I say "If it is in a state to come back then I'd quite like it" iyswim.

People who have given me clothes tell me at the time if they want them back or not.

I find it a bit odd, either give or lend, but don't give and then say you want them back. My 2 DDs get a lot of stuff from a friend of mine. She knows if I don't use it, I will pass it on to a good home or charity. If something is precious, keep it, don't lend it. If something happens to it, as is quite possible when children are involved, it just causes upset and bad feeling.

bit off actually saying she wants them to give to her fave charity. Could understand if she wanted to give them to another friend or sister but why couldn't she just tell you what charity to give them to? perhaps she just wants them back but if it was me - I'd only give away stuff that I didn't mind not getting back.

I think it's unreasonable for your relative to suddenly spring this on you, spandex. It's up to the giver to make it clear when they give clothes on what terms the clothing is given or loaned

Still, at least you'll know to check next time if you are given anything. I think it's a good precaution to ask at the outset.

I lent some clothes to a friend, and as i am now pregnant again she was worried about the fact she had had to throw some away as they were stained. She asked if she could pay me for them, i told her she was being silly i didn't care about that.

No, not unreasonable. I've always catalogued everything handed down to me. I'm grateful to have been leant them at all.