To not be able to live up to DH's level of romanticness/obsessiveness?

honestly I feel a bit sick at the thought of 'teddies and roses'.
Besides, what gives him the right to interrupt your work? It is essentially belittling isn't it?
If a wife interrupted a husband's work every 20 mins or whatever, she would be called a 'bunny boiler' or a 'ball breaker', would she not?

How is he going to cope when you have a baby which will require your constant attention for a long time and take it away from him?

It sounds as though you are afraid to tell him how you feel for fear of upsetting him but you need to speak up.

I uncomfortable with your behaviour.

I would repeat this as he can’t then say anything about how HE is. This is about YOU being uncomfortable with it. I would suggest counselling.

If he won’t go, I would be seriously considering whether to continue as a couple.

I agree with other posters that you need to have boundaries. It’s not healthy that he’s reducing his social circle to focus exclusively on you & the baby. Having said that, my DH doesn’t really have male friends (a couple of close friends live quite a distance away - some overseas). He does like to be by himself though, working on some project or another & hardly ever texts! It sounds like you DH needs some kind of hobby or something else to focus on. Maybe you could give him something practical to do to get ready for the baby i.e building something/decorating the baby’s room?

Do you go out with other couples? I think you mentioned him enjoying being with your sister’s children. What about encouraging him to go out for a drink with her partner or other male members of the family? It might help to widen his social circle.

I’d also get a jar/piggy bank for the baby & tell him whenever he feels the need to buy you flowers he can put the equivalent amount in there instead. Hide the photo albums for a bit too!

Failing that, counselling may help him to deal with any obsessive feelings & feelings of insecurity. I had some counselling a few years ago when my DH & I had some relationship trouble which really helped. In one session I was told to imagine trying to catch/hold on to a butterfly because it’s so special & pretty. You can’t hold on to a person/relationship (esp through fear) as you will damage it & push that person away. A healthy relationship needs a degree of freedom.

Sounds very unhealthy and not sustainable...its is controlling albeit with flowers and gifts...i would also be concerned about behaviour once baby arrives...often men feel rejected who dobt have anywhere near this type of ott behaviour-you will be exhausted tryi g to nurture a baby and keep him happy if he doesnt calm down..either that or he may try to takeover baby duties. I think you need to talk to him bow before bany arrived and say no more work calls/texts as its not professional...sorry but he sounds like the type of man that would flip out big time if you tried to leave him......you need to test the water and just see if you can get him to ease off without feeling rejected or paranoid...if he doesnt...it is a massive red flag

Oh my god this would terrify me.

But I do tend to feel more comfortable around people who don't give of themselves very easily, if that makes sense...

I had an ex like this years ago. When I tried to end it he threatened suicide. You need to deal with this now before the baby comes along. If it were me I would leave him and put boundaries in place. It will only get worse and when there is a baby involved he will become even more possessive.

What would he say if you said you were going away on a long weekend with some of your girlfriends?

The fact he's let all of his friends go because he's so obsessed with you would be a massive red flag for me.

I think you need to sit him down and have a proper chat with him, OP. Yes, you might hurt his feelings, but you need to make him realise that this isn't normal behaviour.

Is your employer ok with you needing to be on permanent alert to react to text messages on your personal phone ?

This sounds like he is anxious - yes he is showing it in 'nice' ways but what if it intensifies. You def need a chat about your commitment to each other being strong and true, but that he is getting a bit needy and worried. It will only get worse when the baby is here, if he's like this now. Have a proper sit down chat - wrapped up in lots of reassurance and love but with some clear messages making it through - This stuff he might not even realise he's doing. Flip it round, if it were you obsessively stepford wife-ing, reducing your circle and spending all the kitty on toot he didn't want, he'd probably think you were in need of at least a chat!

good luck

The flowers and gifts are him buying your affection. You know, he's bought these for you, so how could you possibly not want to sit and go over the photo albums, or give affection, or answers his calls immediately? They are part of the sticks to beat you with.

This guy is scary, it's taking me back to my relationship with ex.

I think his reaction to discussing things will tell you a lot.

Eg, a healthy response would be 'I'm so sorry, I had no idea, I just wanted to show you that I cared and that I'll be a good dad but I've got it wrong, what can I do to make things right?' ie, wanting to listen to you

A poor one would be 'But it's only because I love you, I'm just sorry you don't love me as much' ie Shutting you down and making you feel bad.

I think pps calling him creepy is not helpful. You and he need a serious set some boundaries, he may not be aware of how intense he is being

Well, if had some friends to talk to, maybe he would learn this is not normal behaviour.

If it were just over-enthusiastic hair stroking, that's one thing, but he's calling her all the time at work and getting het up if she doesn't respond within 30 minutes. That IS controlling and totally oppressive behaviour, not just sweet but intense over-affection.

He sounds horrendous. I think I’d struggle to have any sort of sexual attraction to someone that needy, insecure and controlling.

The level of obsession with your relationship to the extent that he has no other social life and would rather coo over photo albums of you both than do anything else at the weekend is disturbing.

He sounds head over heels, but is obviously struggling to contain it. I think a chat is in order, along the lines of, 'I appreciate the flowers, gifts, massages etc, but when it's constant it doesn't feel as special, can you reduce it so its every so often and I feel like I can appreciate it more and it not become 'the norm'?'

I think pps calling him creepy is not helpful. You and he need a serious set some boundaries, he may not be aware of how intense he is being. I also doubt he would be jealous of the baby, he sounds like the type of guy who will over be enthusiastic and a good Dad.

If he is otherwise a good guy and your married, give a shot at a good discussion.

This is absolutely about control. You have become a bit player in his fairytale romance and that will be used against you should you EVER step outside of meeting his every whim and need. I have direct experience in this. Every alarm bell is ringing from your post

He will only get away with what you let him. Stop letting him and spell out why. Then it's up to him if he wants to keep your respect and his relationship with you.
Don't put up with it anymore and don't let him make this out to be your fault.
He will only change if he can if you make him. But if he doesn't please leave him.

OP, this is all controlling behaviour, and it's a known red flag for abuse that it's intensified during pregnancy.

Midwives are supposed to watch for abusive behaviour (and this is certainly leading into abuse, if not abusive already). Talk to your midwife about this, and see if you can get some counselling FOR YOURSELF.

Don't bother with couples counselling, at least not yet. There are some counsellors BB who struggle to see and understand abusive relationships, especially when violence is not involved.

My ex was only half as bad, but I left after 30 years. It was too suffocating, the expectations that I was enough for him, so he should have been enough for me. I could go on, but don't want to derail. Suffice to say that I am free, but sadly still supporting my children through mental health issues as a result of his behaviour.

This won't get better. You have to act.

Whatever you do, don't allow him to isolate you, I hope you have someone in real life, to confide in.
His behaviour isn't normal, it definitely needs addressing,
This isn't something you should brush under the carpet.
He is in grave danger of killing any love you have for him, and making your skin crawl.

OTOH, my OP only had one (short lived) girlfriend before me and wouldn't dream of rubbing my feet, stroking my hair or looking at pictures of us. He's at completely the other end of the affection-spectrum, so it's not just inexperience that's making him behave this way. Otherwise all romantically-inclined men would be like this with their first girlfriend/wife.

He's afraid of losing you. But instead of using trust to keep the relationship, he's trying to use the glue of you never being away from him for long enough to cheat.

He makes you look at photo albums with him for an hour and a half at a time? And you do this? I'm breathing into a brown paper bag just reading this.