To not be able to live up to DH's level of romanticness/obsessiveness?

Agree completely with @ReanimatedSGB .
He is frightening. Being jealous of your past is fucked up. He's emotionally abusive and I think you should leave ASAP.

Also - what if you were in contact with any of your ex boyfriends? How would he cope with that? Do you have any make friends? How does he feel about that? You mention he's agreed to go to counselling for a separate issue - his jealousy - but I don't think that's a separate issue at all. I think it's all part of the same thing. And it's a massive red flag

*Footbaths.
Making you footpaths really would be taking it to another level!

Does he work OP? I'm just wondering when he has time for all this 'romanticism' what with sex several times a day, constant messages and phone calls to you, buying gifts, making home made albums, sitting down with you and looking through the albums, writing super long love letters, massaging you, cuddling you, giving you footpaths, cleaning and cooking!
You must know this isn't normal behaviour!
Add to that your updates about his jealousy and surely you can see this is a recipe for disaster! I'm sure it must have been flattering to start with but once you have the baby things are going to get a lot worse.

Blimey, I'd feel totally suffocated.
You need to sit him down and make it totally clear that you can't tolerate this OTT behaviour and it has to stop otherwise you can't live like it any longer.
He's pushing you away and he needs to understand that.

It’s too much and it’s making you feel under pressure. I would say this is not normal behaviour.

OP, reading your updates leaves me feeling scared for you. This man is bad news, for both you and the baby.

I agree he needs therapy, not couselling. If you go to counselling with him, be prepared for him to blame you for not doing what he wants, in some way. Given the manipulation he's shown so far, he'll find some way to get the counsellor (unless they are very good at spotting abuse) to agree with him about something that will restrict you even more.

You need to leave, this will not get any better, in fact don't bother trying to be gentle, just go. The jealousy, possessiveness, the ignoring your feelings, the insistance of doing "romantic" stuff he wants to do, whether you want to or not, etc, etc. It leaves me worried for you.

Talk to your midwife, talk to Women's Aid, on your own, and give all the information about him. They'll give you information and support.

More importantly "How is going to handle it when you're sleep- deprived and sore and the baby wants to be held constantly, and you tell him to f*ck off when he..." expects sex 24/7?

Thing is even if you tolerate the jealously and insecurity, he has a bizarre Disney-like view of what 'lurve' is meant to be.

There is no way he'll be able to cope with the daily grind of looking after a newborn.
How is going to handle it when you're sleep- deprived and sore and the baby wants to be held constantly, and you tell him to f*ck off when he pulls out his photo albums?

Run. Now.

Jeez he's not the full ticket! Why did you marry him OP?

This sounds very, very scary to me. I'd hate this and would feel terribly suffocated at the very least! At worst, I would actually be seriously worried about my safety. Men (and women!) like this can be very unpredictable.

OP, please seriously consider your future. You don't want to become a statistic.

...and if you leave him, please ensure he only gets supervised access to the baby.

Blimey. Creepy, obsessive, weird, claustrophobic, suffocating - all sprang to mind just from the OP, let alone the disturbing additional detail in subsequent posts. Is there any way you can send a link to this thread to your counsellor OP?

It’s a terrifying read TBH, I’d be really worried you’ll end up in a black bag in the freezer or with him wearing your skin, he sounds psychotic and not at all normal, certainly not ‘lovely’, sounds like he’s normalised his obsessive behaviour over the years. Be very careful OP.

What redeeming qualities does he have that have convinced you it's a good idea to marry him and have a child with him?

You've had relationships before so you know the score.

I'm baffled.

OP in all seriousness this man is not a romantic, he sounds potentially dangerous. Have you talked to your friends/family about this? If not, please do and start making preparations to leave. Even if the counselling appears to work for a while, do not have another child with him. You’ve married a very damaged person.

I think this is one of the worst, most chilling, things I've read on mumsnet.

I'm so sorry OP. You need to escalate the counselling very quickly, and be prepared to leave this man before your child is born.

Wow. I think this man is very very afraid of something. Being left? Did his mum leave him when he was quite young?

He sounds as though he will stop at nothing to keep the idealised view of you he has in his head, which is why he cries when he thinks of you with other men - you are no longer his ideal woman. I started off thinking he was just too full on, now I think he actually needs a lot of help.

Thats a huuuge red flag about his jealousy about your previous relationships. Please be careful.

Probably sounds dramatic but I think you need to leave this man asap. My ex was like this, and having been in shit relationships before I was initially flattered by it all. In the end I left him, I was utterly exhausted by his level of obsession. Unfortunately leaving him was the catalyst for things to get very bad. I won’t go into details but only police intervention stopped the stalking and harassment. It is the most stressful and terrifying thing I’ve ever had to go through

There was a recent thread on this very same thing. Can anyone link to it?

Flipping heck, he really has you on a pedestal, OP. I wonder what would happen if you did something to bring you down to earth ? He sounds so obsessive, and that is never good.

Counselling - individual for both of you. Therapy for him.

You know he is not normal.

The jealousy / possessiveness and this OTT smothering "romantic" behaviour are one and the same thing OP

Too much, I couldn't be doing with it

Simply couldn’t stand this op. Would drive me insane

Christ on a bike. Deeply scary stuff. What do your friends and family make of him? Have you confided in a friend? Maybe you should do, asap.