To not be able to live up to DH's level of romanticness/obsessiveness?

He sounds so creepy your post made me shudder.

When I was a child I knew an older lady (family friend) who's husband was like this. He even washed and brushed her hair for her. If she caught a bus home, he'd be at the bus stop to meet her. Even as a child (teenager) it gave me the creeps, there was something that felt so sinister about it.

I have a very loving husband, and he was just like yours when I was pregnant. I was the most precious person in the world carrying his child, and he would endlessly shower me with love, massage my feet and 'look after me'.
You might find actually that things become immeasurably better once the baby is here and he can be affectionate with him/her too.

You have lots of negative posts, but honestly just say to him you know he loves you and you need some space. He will I am sure respect your wishes, given what you have said.

Twelve years on and two children later, he will be too shattered to massage your feet in a few months, so make the most of it, and be glad you have such a loving and romantic dh. Now we have a family we are all quite loving and affectionate, there are worse things to be :)

Are you entirely sure he isn't on the spectrum, and you have become his specialist subject?

This is not a normal sort of interaction for a happy couple.. this is the beginning 10 minutes of a horror film. Boundaries.. NOW!

Woah, that all sounds waaaaaay too intense.

The thing is, if he cared about you as much as he professes, he would lay off if he thought it was making you uncomfortable or unhappy. It does sound a bit OTT controlling.

Well, I would think its either control or anxiety based but either way, would he agree to some sort of counselling? Even reading your OP made me short of breath and anxious myself!

What would happen if you sat him down and reassured him (I love you and am so excited about starting our family together) but telling him that he is suffocating you and setting some rules (no more than 2 texts per day, one phone call in my lunch hour, I will call you if there are any problems otherwise pls assume all is well, no more flowers - lets save the money for all the expensive baby things) etc. Would he sulk (controlling and unattractive) or get angry (ditto)? Gah I couldnt have sex with someone like this!!

He may well view his friends as ‘childish’ esp if they are 25/26 and foot loose and fancy free but you need to encourage him to go out and make some new ‘dad’ friends.

Creepy creepy creepy. You really need to tackle this now before the baby is born. I know you say that he is excited about the baby but what happens when the baby is 6 weeks old, you are cluster feeding, covered in baby sick and completely knackered and he wants to cuddle. Will he get in a mood she you say no? What about the fact you likely will not be able to have sex for 6 weeks if you want it at all, will he get in a mood that you won't 'make love'. If I'm being kind I would say He has massive ask esteem issues but honestly he just sounds creepy and controlling.

I'd advise you to have a serious talk with him now, rather than waiting until he comes and puts his snuggly hands on you for the 200th time that day when your newborn is 2 month old and you have been awake for 22 hours straight, and you finally totally lose your shit at him (and he is then mournful and wounded for about six months because it 'came from nowhere').

^This. When you’re exhausted because you haven’t had more than two hours sleep in a row the last thing you are going to want is him needing attention and then being all hurt.

It’s all very ‘me me me’.

I had a boyfriend like this. I hard noped out of that relationship after 3 months. It is suffocating.

You need to have a deep talk with him to establish boundaries. Like PP have said, watch his reaction closely. You may be able to fix this but he will need to show respect for you as a separate human with your own life and perhaps counselling for his insecurities.

Not normal, horrible.

Goodness me! That's a bit ott from your DH, OP! You say you are his "first", so I am wondering whether this is simply a rather boyish inexperience showing itself?

Maybe he thinks this is what a loving husband is supposed to do? You need to point him in the right direction, OP. No hints just tell him outright that he's trying too hard and needs to back off with the constant lovefest!

He sounds obssessed with you/limerence. The problem will be is if you ever fall from his pedestal, which of course you will

I couldn't cope with that. I had one boyfriend who used to write long lists of why we were a great couple and wanted me to write down why I was lucky to be in such a relationship, every weekend. And put aside an hour for us to read them aloud and discuss.
Er no thanks love.
It's not healthy and soon you're not going to be able to answer texts every few minutes and you're not going to want sex straight away after birth, would he be able to handle that?

I dated a guy like that years ago. He is quite hard to shake after we broke up.

He was later diagnosed with HF ASD at 30. I am not saying the same of your situation, DD9 has HF autism and also does lots of the things you describe.

Sounds like he feels some sort of strange entitlement since you got pregnant, coupled with deep insecurity. I wonder if pregnancy has triggered some very idealised view of what he feels fatherhood should be. That’s not gonna end well.

You must demand boundaries now. His reaction will be all you need to know.

Yes, this. Absolutely. I don't understand the posters who are advising nicey-nicey or understanding (because he used to be overweight? So what?) approaches. There is more than one way of being controlling and manipulative. His behaviour is suffocating you and that is unnacceptable. Address it now and lay some boundaries. You say you love him, but this shit will grind you down and smother you until you resent him.

Your OP read exactly like my ex. I almost asked if he shared certain initials until I saw you both are a lot younger than me.

To cut a long story short, I ended up running for the hills retching like my arse was on fire.

You say you love him, trust me. You need to address this before he smothers it out of you.

He says there's no point in him to socialise anymore

This will be your future. The horror!

OMG, just read you are the same age as my DS. Who is just about to go off travelling to another continent for a month.

Some threads on MN make me wonder if I went through a sliding door back into the 1950s....

All I can say OP is congratulations with your pregnancy and don't let it lock you up In a future situation you don't want. You need to find your inner strength going forward.

He doesn't 'want a big family' because keeping you pregnant is a good way to keep you at home, does he? And then you'll have to be a SAHM because childcare will be so expensive... and he'll always know exactly where you are. Your chances of meeting another man would be slight (always a queue of children in tow)...

This isn't attributable to being old-fashioned. After all, it's not so long since it would have been impossible for someone to send messages from work all day to check up on their spouse. In fact, I'm surprised his employer tolerates him being constantly distracted from is work in this way. Have you asked him about this?

It's seriously worrying that he's cutting himself off from other people, and virtually inevitable that he will start pressuring you do to so with claims that he and your child should be enough for you.

It sounds quite unhealthy, and damaging to your relationship - ironically for him, as the more he tries to keep you, the more he is pushing you away emotionally.

I think couples counselling would be a good idea - for a neutral person to reinforce that this level of intensity is extreme, and to encourage better communication, ie. for him to really understand the effect on you.

There is another thread I you should look at OP I don't know how to link it for you sorry but the title is "he actually said it".
Not exactly like your story but as I was reading it I thought it was very similar.

It's like you have a stalker in your own home.

^^ this.

Oh, the joys of being single.... Do what I want, when I want and no controlling creep to stress me out.

Sorry OP.

You are a saint to still be with him, OP. There is no way on this earth I could put up with that level of intensity. It would smother me.

He's totally dependent on you - and that really isn't healthy. He needs some gentle encouragement to find a hobby and make some friends. That way you'll have something to talk about. And I'd lay a few boundaries out ie no phone calls at work unless it is an emergency. You are being too accomodating in letting this happen.... you need to start saying "too much". And he needs to listen to you.

Fuck me this is a whole lot of nope!!

I’m surprised you would have a baby when you’ve got such huuuuggggeee red flags in your relationship tbh, I’m not sure where you would go from here really

I'd advise you to have a serious talk with him now, rather than waiting until he comes and puts his snuggly hands on you for the 200th time that day when your newborn is 2 month old and you have been awake for 22 hours straight, and you finally totally lose your shit at him (and he is then mournful and wounded for about six months because it 'came from nowhere').

You must demand boundaries now. His reaction will be all you need to know.