To be upset/concerned about new preschool helper and DS's dummy!

TBH I rarely notice things like dummies as really it isn;t any of my business. I rarely notice lots of things that others on mumsnet seem to get het up about.

by the way I don't really get this argument of "they won't be allowed at school"
he's not at school
surely the time to worry about it is when he starts school?? which won't be for another thrree months at least, right

and franny is a virtual prisoner in her home cos she won't say boo to next door's 5 year old

Oh now just stop this. flightattendant has said she sees the error of her ways, in fact she said so ages ago, there is no need to lay out the JUDGING criteria associated with her child comforter.
When LGJ came to my house and saw that my dd had a dummy she said 'oh you kept that quiet on mn' and I replied that is because I couldn't give a flying fuck what ANYONE else thinks of my parenting, and I diddn't keep it quiet just hadn't come accross a thread where it was mentioned.
Dummies are incredibly useful comforters and yes they do have less pluses and more minuses once the child is over three. Flightattendant has taken that on board and doesn't deserve to be mocked.

harpsichord of course is still breastfeeding her 12 year old

Cross posts with HC

Some very blunt and rude posts here

Flightattendant I don't think it is the nursery's business to tell your son to give up his dummy

it is none of their business IMO

I am sorry people have said such unpleasant things about older children with dummies

some children need the comfort of sucking for longer than others

I know a lot of the things said on here about dummies are the same emotions people have about extended breastfeeding, but it is not PC to say them about breastfeeding

I think people get upset to see dependency in a child

I would encourage your ds to get rid of the dummy if you can think of a way to gently do it, but it isn't anybody else's business if he occasionally has a dummy for comfort

oh and thumb sucking
NO-ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS
here, borrow my favourite expression

When I see an older kid with a dummy I try and give a supportive smile to the mother (older than 4 I mean I wouldn't particulalry notice a 4 year old with one), as I know so many autistic kids who still have dummies at late ages and who get a terrible time from the know-it-all general public, that just in case they're a kindred spirit in an NT world I smile. They probably think I'm a raving loon, or leering at the dummy or something, but I am sending warm vibes.

actually I don't think any of those things about a child with a dummy.
I don't think anything at all tbh, none of my business.
just like I wouldn't expect anyone to "help" me get my child to give up "inappropriate" bf by telling her it was for babies
and I wouldn't try and talk another child out of any sort of comfort object.
or tell someone to stop smoking (oral comforter) or mumsnetting
we all need a little comfort.
it's up to you and your child when you give it up.
noone else's business

FA

We restricted ds1's dummy for sleeping when he was about 1, and he still has speech problems, so it's hard to say about speech developement - the chances are his would have been slow anyway.

The problem with older children and dummies is that they tend to zone out and glaze over when they have a dummy in their chops - so they aren'#t really paying full attention to their surroundings.

I think she was probably a little incredulous that such an old child is allowed to walk around with a dummy in his mouth, and talk with one in. He will have the other children calling him a baby - as many children his age have younger siblings and this is how mothers get the older ones to leave the younger's dummy alone, by saying "YOu're not a baby, you don't need such a baby thing, you look really sillly with that in your mouth!"

They will repeat this to any large child they see with a dummy, unfortunately.

I don't think you're being batty at all

I think, like all parents, you muddle along doing what feels right / what you believe is right ... I think, again like all parents, you may have inadvertantly fallen into doing something that feels normal but is not necessarily right to other parents

Don't think you've done anything wrong

Just in some people's eyes you'll be judged for it

but feck it you're judged whatever you do

and yes I always thought chav was shorthand for common too

Soggy old blanket not generally dragged round all day, confined to the bedroom, does not affect speech, does not have Chav connotations...

Tip: when you want them to give it up (or they seem ready to obviously) - hang them on the Christmas tree, Santa will leave extra pressie, blah de blah. Bobs yer uncle, Fannys yer anunt. Not a beep out of either of them.

Then had a girl who wouldn't entertain a dummy, so just shows you - even a pro-dummy dumb as f* mother can have a child who won't have one. Ta Da!

hmmm

think

Agree re chav........lazy shorthand for lower class (imo)

Hi

My son is just 3 and has a dummy at bedtime and will also ask for it if he is ill or very tired during the day. Doesn't have it at nursery and is quite happy not having it during the day. In fact I think we'll be seeing the back of it in the next few weeks... but he has a blanket (had since he was teeny in an incubator) and its dog eared and bobbly etc but he LOVES it. Now I'll tackle the getting rid of dummy but what do you reckon about blanket? He kind of strokes his hand along the edge of it and likes it at bed time and when watching TV or feeling tired. Massive comfort to him. Is there a huge taboo about children having comfort blankets too?
Sorry for the hi-jack of thread, I don't think you are being unreasonable in wanting to be the one to decide when your son has a dummy but its probably in your son's interests to go without it at pre-school in preparation for proper school. There's nothing like other kids teasing!
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