To be upset/concerned about new preschool helper and DS's dummy!

OK I can understand allowing a dummy or other comforter for a couple of settling in sessions but if these are needed on a regular basis then maybe the child isn't ready for pre-school.

Although if places are strict about bottles and dummies what do they do about thumb-suckers?

DD1 lost touch with her best friend after they went to different secondary schools but this girl was still sucking her thumb and twiddling her hair in yr6. For some children it's a hard habit to break.

flightattendant,haven't read the whole thread, but I'm with you on this one.
Dummies....love 'em.
Will anyone be remotely interested in how old your ds was when he gave up his dummy when he's...say...20?

Yes it is an interesting comparison -poor diet versus dummy use, and what the nursery's role is

it really opens a can of worms, but what most people on this thread have objected to. are not health concerns, but the aesthetic aspects of dummy use and the fact that they think it is freaky and sick

Twiglett, i take it your posts arent entirely serious! WTF is using reins a "chav" thick parent thing to do? I must have missed something.

Elastic I was not talking about daycare. I meant an educational establishment, also.

lol hatrick at the small rock (is it the same rock or do you have several identical ones if one needs to go in the washing machine)?

F & Z, I think it was more that if they allowed one child to have his dummy, then all of the other children who used theirs to go to sleep would want theirs!

And it was a pre-school, for 3-4 year olds, before they went into Reception - more "schooly" than a nursery.

I'm still not happy about "What's it got to do with them" (the nursery). DD2's school tried to implement a "fruit only as a snack" rule and lots of parents got angry and shouted that if they wanted to give their children chocolate and crisps then they bloody well would and WTF had it got to do with the school?

I sucked my thumb for a LONG time - sucking didn't suddenly cease to be comforting after a certain age

I had a blankie. Apparently I used to wrap it over and round my head like a wimple. Then sit as far away as possible from everyone else. And rock. With my back to them. At nearly 4.

Well adjusted - was I fuck, It has taken loads of bloody effort to be even passably normal .

If it had been forcibly/firmly removed I think it would have been pretty cruel so on reflection I say tell the helper to leave off.

I would hope a pre-school would have a policy about working with parents and being sympathetic to an individual child's needs rather than a policy on dummies

Coppertop makes a damn good point about the sports bottle - we did this swap and ds1 still (age 4) calls the sports bottles his "BIg Boy Blue Bottles)

flight attendant, it wound you up so much because YOU are his mother and it is down to you how you parent your child, you pay these people to look after your child while you are away and if having his dummy makes him feel better then he should have it.

Ive not read many of the threads but i should ignore those who are jumping on the anti dummy bandwagon. DD1 had a dummy, DD2 has her thumb. DD1 is 16 and doesnt need it now (at least thats what she tells me ). You might want to try what we did, DP cut the teats off of all DD1's dummies, i went balistic, DD1 however simply never asked for her dummy again as they were no use to her.

As for speech problems, i wouldnt know, but DD1(with dummy) had no problems, DD2 (no dummy) has speech delay!

F&Z you may be right if it was a nursery, but it wasn't it was pre-school ie an educational establishment, not just daycare.

It would be interesting to ask whether the pre-school has a written policy on the use of dummies, and if so, why they hadn't let the OP know about it before. Are pre-schools encouraged, or even forced to have this policy by Ofsted or the government, I wonder?

When my dc were at preschool there was a policy about children not having sweets during the sessions. One mother of a very fat child was upset when this was enforced with her child. (Actually the size of the child is not relevant here except that it's the reason I remember this.)

I am very surprised at the strength of feeling against dummies - it is the opposite here in Belgium where I live!

ALmost all babies I see here have a dummy, and it is very common to see children up to five years of age with a dummy.

My dds never had dummies (I tried, but they weren't interested in them), and when they started at the creche, I got asked several times did they have one and how did they sleep when they didn't have a dummy, the implication being that they slept badly because they didn't have a dummy.

(obviously they do (and did) have a comfort object, it is just that I handily carry it around in my bra for them. at least it stays clean in there)

CT- exactly.

I agree F&Z- I wanted ds2 to have a dummy (very sore, and wanted to suck all the time) and no chance- he would not take one. No-one leaps for ds3's blanket when they see it (leap away from it I would think).

I love to see little ones with stinky old toys, I think it is quite sweet.
it;s human to want comfort especially in a stressful environment.
I always see women in pubs and on buses fiddling with their phones, I think that is similar

Shes dead right pet, dead right.

HC DD1 has no comfort object at 3 and dd2 hasn't got one at 9 months.

You never know they might take it up though.

Ds2 is 4 and was a late(ish) talker. He still has bottles at home. His behaviour can be terrible a lot of the time. Ds1 is 6 and was a late talker. He had a bottle at night until the age of around 5.

So, was the late talking and bad behaviour caused by bad/lazy parenting, especially letting them have bottles as such a late age? Or could it possibly be that there was something else going on that onlookers didn't know about?

To the OP I would say that we had some success with swapping ds1's baby bottle for a sports bottle. It might be worth a try for your ds.