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Original poster

Not to want to live past my 80s

164 replies

Echobelly · 13/05/2018 09:42

My granddad has been lucky to have relatively good health, but since turning 90 things are so hard for him, again even with relatively good health for his age. He can't commit 100% to a lot of things as some days he's just not up to anything, it's hard for him to enjoy holidays like he used to as he can hardly walk anywhere. I feel really sad to see him living like this - I wouldn't want to. And I know I'm not going to be one of those 90+ years old doing yoga or whatever, as I have a joint problem so my mobility's probably going to be shot relatively early. I think I 'd rather go by my mid-80s thanks.

OP posts:
CountFosco · 13/05/2018 09:53

The end of life is always shit whatever age it happens at. My Dad died in his 60s from cancer, the last few years of his life were rubbish for him. He went very quickly from being full of life to frail. You don't avoid frailty by dying in your 80s, 70s or 60s, it just happens sooner than if you die in your 90s.

Rainboho · 13/05/2018 09:51

I completely agree with you OP. I don’t want to just exist, in physical and mental pain, burdening my children.

I want a good death if I get to certain age. I don’t want to spend my life working to pay for care for a miserable last few years. I just hope the laws in this country change to allow me that choice.

Gorganzolabrie · 13/05/2018 09:51

My step father died recently at 96. In the last few years he was very frail and deeply frustrated by his lack of mobility. However he maintained a lively interest in the world and had no wish to leave. He said he had no fear of death but would like to live to 100.

You can't know how you'll feel until you get there.

ferrier · 13/05/2018 09:51

I'm hoping to have good health and activity levels into my 90s and am taking active step towards this now.
I've given instructions to my dc about DNRs but must get these written down.

YouWereRight · 13/05/2018 09:50

I don't really want to get past 70 if I'm honest. The thought of being old terrifies me.

SecretIsland · 13/05/2018 09:50

I really don't think you can put an arbitrary age on it.

Nothing drastic happens when you turn 90. How your grandads health is now could be yours at 100 after having a fit and active decade in your 90's. Or it could be how you are when you turn 70.

My grandmother is 88 and completely fit and active and loving life...plenty of that age aren't though.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 13/05/2018 09:49

Hopefully medicine, health and nutrition will have improved by then.
Perhaps a generation or 2 ago being 80 was seen as decrepit.
I hope I will live to my 90’s, but am taking steps in my 40s now to build the foundation of good health

crayoladreamz · 13/05/2018 09:47

I agree. It’s all
Over the news at the moment about guernsey voting to decide if they’re going to legalise assisted dying. Let’s hope they do and the uk follows.

Our pets currently have a more humane end of life than our loved ones in some cases.

DearMrDilkington · 13/05/2018 09:47

Completely agree. The fags will probably finish me off before I get to 90 anyway...

thegreylady · 13/05/2018 09:47

Wait till you get there! Most people don’t live beyond their 80s but some do and are independent.

PsychoSyd · 13/05/2018 09:46

I totally understand. The men in my family tend to just drop dead. The women, well, we linger until there's nothing left of us but a shell. I do not want this. I want a happy, healthy and as active as possible fifteen to twenty odd years after I retire and then hopefully just go.

NewYearNewMe18 · 13/05/2018 09:45

I agree. I work with the elderly and its a frightening prospect.

FrazzledAndFeelingIt · 13/05/2018 09:45

Totally agree.

JenBarber · 13/05/2018 09:44

Agreed.

I work in a care home and it's not a life I'd want for myself.