Not to want to live past my 80s

Ah just seen, the open to abuse argument has been put forward already.

No healthy person is going to be pressured into agreeing to die. Personally, once I get past having any quality of life at all, I don't want to live, and would be happy to write a living will to that effect.

Alpha , we already have a problem. Councils can’t cope with the costs of fees to keep people alive ( some of which don’t want to be ) but it’s such a huge subject and nobody has the answers. Everyone has different views as well or just doesn’t think about it.

I think it's the attitude of the medical profession that needs to change. There comes a point- varying ages for each of us- where treatment becomes about prolonging quantity of life, over quality.

My Grandad takes umpteen pills a day to keep him alive because the GP has told him to, but he can't walk, he can't hear, he can't remember who any of us are, and his awareness has deteriorated to the point that he doesn't even notice or care that he suffers from incontinence. It's not the end of life we want for him. As the PP said, if he was a dog we'd take him to the vet and do the humane thing.

I don't think it would happen here either.

I think too many people are made uncomfortable by the idea of death and, of course, the argument that it will be open to abuse and old people will be bumped off left right and centre; highly unlikely, I would have thought, and it's never made clear exactly who is going be tempted to kill all these old people, but it's an argument that's always put forward when this topic comes up.

We have a running joke in our family that if you get to 88 your birthday present will be a one way ticket to Switzerland. This came about after my dear gran got to 94 having spent the last few years lying in a care home not knowing who anyone was, weighing 5 stone, and wearing nappies.

I think it was a Jack Dee sketch went something like this, so true:

---My mate told me if I go to the gym and eat more healthily I'll live 10 years longer
---Yes, but it's the last 10 years when you're just dribbling and pissing yourself.

Hoping by the time my time comes assisted suicide will be legal and commonplace. As a nation we are going to have a HUGE problem if we don't do something about it, an ageing population with the issues that entails just doesn't bear thinking about.

Nothing would convince my mum and dad to do anything he didn’t want. In a living will he wouldn’t agree to it - others would do the opposite. It would take planning but this could be an option to stop abuse and relatives ‘talking ‘people into it?

School - a living will might be a way to stop that sort of thinking .
I see your point and its probably why the UK govt won’t consider it. I can see both sides and it could be open to abuse of course. It’s a dilemma.

When your body has failed and your mind has followed it, I'm not seeing the point of vegging in a bed in a care home, being rolled to avoid pressure ulcers, for 15 -20 years, not stimulus, nothing to enjoy, not able to effectively communicate.

I never want to be a drain on taxes.

Reading the posts on here, there is a strong sense that if you can't attend to your personal needs and have to rely on others then your time is up. Don't kid me people who hold these views wouldn't gently pressure their ageing relatives to think the same way.

It's open to great abuse.

I hate the idea of people feeling they ought to ease the burden on their relatives by doing themselves in. Family begrudgingly visiting you in the care home wondering why grandma won't do the decent thing and take herself off to the clinic.

I don't want to live so long without DD1. So sick of this already. Fuck dragging it out. YANBU

Needs a referendum on it. I believe it would be a resounding yes to having a Uk clinic.
Lots of people are religious too so they would vote no I guess. It would br an interesting debate - I would love to think s big turn out too.
Will never happen.

@vq1970 no not me, I’m very pro.

I know not that many people answered the polls but isn’t that the same with all polls and then you sort of assume the data is representative of the whole population. Even with a margin for error it’s still going to be mostly pro people.

The problem is too many of the deputies are religious.

Aging is awful.
Like cherry it hangs over me as I had older parents when I was born and seen too much suffering. I do believe it’s money that is keeping the status quo though.

My Grandad lived till he was 103 and was smart as a button till 101. He read the papers, watched the cricket and chatted to his pal.

But could he deal with his own personal hygiene and go and get his own paper?

Like most, being immobile and sitting in my own bodily functions isn't an appealing prospect.

I go onto locked wards and its bloody horrible, unkempt old ladies crying and begging to get out. Why are they unkempt? You try brushing their hair, they slap you!

Its not an end of life anyone would want.

Anyone see the lovely old lady in the paper the other day? 104, passed away, had no children, all her family was dead, she outlived all her friends and had no one to go to her funeral. How sad is that, how lonely she must have been.

Aging is awful.

Cherry - same here. I am dreading getting old and not having any say in living the life I want ( and being able to die if I want to)
Agree that we treat animals better at end of life usually.

My Grandad lived till he was 103 and was smart as a button till 101. He read the papers, watched the cricket and chatted to his pal. The last two years were a bit sad but all in all he had a good innings. If you are reasonably healthy life can be rewarding even for the very old.

My mum died of cancer in a painful way when she was only 40. My MIL died in a care home, a very protracted and demeaning death. My dad died in front of me from a massive heart attack when he was 62. My dad’s death was a shock to those who were around him but that is how I want to go. Clean and simple. Preferably asleep in bed but if not, just a sudden end. We should be able to flick a switch ourselves. What is the point of living a long time if the quality of your life is awful. Not everybody elderly is going to be infirm but a large number are. Dementia is the scariest thing.

My DH and I are in our 50s. We have started living well by losing weight and getting fit. But as we have no dependants we have started treating ourselves. We are mortgage free, and I am normally a cautious person, but we have just booked lots of holidays and have just ordered a sports car. What is the point of not spending our money, you don’t know what the future holds. All we have is now. My dad died before he had a chance to enjoy his retirement, so all the money he amassed over a long career he never got the benefit of. That is not going to happen to me. I am going to do as much as I can while I can.

It’s nice to read a thread with like minded people. We need a discussion about this and laws to be changed but it’s rarely mentioned at election time.

I've developed a real fear of ageing. Having watched one parent die agonisingly of cancer, and both PIL die hideously it is pretty clear what may lie ahead. Whatever happened to dying in your sleep? I do not want to be put in a home, I don't want to be dependent, and if i get dementia, I am off Beachy Head. It's awful how many of us dread getting older. It is casting a shadow for me already, which is ridiculous really.

Have my Dignitas fund already started. Shame the UK is so backwards when it comes to end of life care. I would much rather stay with my family and pass away in my bedroom. As it is I will have to pick an arbitrary date while I am probably still reasonably healthy to travel and spend thousands of pounds just to die with dignity.

I wish we could have a referendum to get the law changed here, seems insane we don't.

@crayoladreamz Sorry, I misunderstood what you meant by polls for some strange reason! I haven’t seen the Island FM discussion or the assisted dying page but I will have a look at those. Having said that, out of a population of circa 65,000 I’m not sure we can say the majority are in favour going by those low numbers.

Are you local? I’m assuming you will have seen who I meant when I mentioned someone who just keeps saying they don’t agree without giving any reasons. I hope it’s not you, they are very frustrating!

There have been some very valid points made as to why it should happen. What really drove it home for me was there was a case recently in the local paper where a man was fined and banned from keeping any pets for life because he didn’t get his cat euthanised when the cat had a tumour and was likely to be in mild to moderate pain. We’d euthanise a pet in mild to moderate pain but won’t euthanise a human who could be in extreme pain. That is wrong.

My Mums 86 and housebound and on the waiting list for a hip replacement but has had to have CV investigations first. Its been an absolute nightmare with around 20 hospital appointments so far. I'm not kidding. Basically they are assessing if she is fit enough to undergo the operation.
Obviously her mobility is terrible but she refuses to have a wheelchair. I went to meet her the other day and one minute she was stood up the next minute she was on the ground. I had to get a workman to help lift her up.Its a nightmare because when I go out I worry all the time whats happening at home.

If I get to the stage of dribbling at either end I would like the chance to tootle along to my local branch of Dignitas and ask for the big red pill or big needle or whatever. I wouldn't want my DDs to see me like that. Also I'd like my DD's to get their inheritance before retirement age so they can retire early.

I don't want to live beyond my 80's. I might feel Different when I get there. But I doubt it.