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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to go swimming with a dad ...

113 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 15/05/2007 20:29

I'm friends with a local dad. I take DS2 swimming in the afternoons sometimes. The dad has suggested that he and his DD tag along sometime. (We do things in the afternoon pretty often, the four of us, or the six of us when we have our older kids with us.)

Frankly, I find swimming with a female friend slightly stressful and weird. I don't exactly live in a burka or anything, but swimsuits are frankly too revealing imo and I just really don't feel comfortable with the idea.

(And yes, I do sometimes run into dads I know at the pool, and I'm friendly and nice, and it's fine really. But I wouldn't set out to run into a bloke there!)

OP posts:
fishie · 16/05/2007 08:43

i have recently done extensive swimming costume research.

there's a bhs at ilford, although not terribly handy for you i believe? johnl cw has paltry selection, they have more exercise wear. in fact the whole shopping centre is a bit crap for swimwear.

speedo have good ones with shorts leg and even a few with proper cups in, they were waiting for new stock at beginning of march. their shop is in covent garden, neal st.

i got this in the end it is really nice and they are a great company - arrived next day too.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:43

The navy blue one is fairly sturdy, too. Thicker than my purple one, anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:42

Yeah, I don't think I can be the 'I would rather look like Elle MacPherson' woman. I think I will do it, it will be fine.

I might manage to go cossie shopping beforehand, though. Actually, my navy blue one isn't that bad, reasonably low cut, racer back, some colour on it, etc etc. Speedo.

OP posts:
Chelseamum · 16/05/2007 08:42

if you buy a cheap swimsuit make sure it s the right size as sometimes they expand in the water!

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:39

Oh, I know I can't buy my swimsuit from Topshop or DottyP (although all my other clothes are from there ).

I don't think the local sports shops do swimsuits. I'll check.

OP posts:
LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:39

oh god NO do it
its hardly hard core porn
tis a mum in a costume
do not let us women imprison oursleves any more fgs becuase of societal norms

Chelseamum · 16/05/2007 08:38

Notquitecockney,

I do think that if you don't fancy exposing your body infront of a man then don't do it.

I totally understand whenre you are coming from. I don't think you are the shy type but perhaps not feeling totally confident about your body.

I would jokingly tell him that if you were Elle Mcpehrson you woudl feel more happy about it!

You don't need to do anything you don't want to do...we are adults know!

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:37

voila
odnt og to teenaged shops they will eb crap
try makrs and or john leiws

or a sports shop fo a speedo

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:36

hm where are you?

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:36

My existing ones are purple and navy. I am a bit too pale to pull off black, I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:35

I don't know where there's a BHS.

My options at the easy shopping place are:

  • gap
  • M+S
  • topshop
  • oasis

Um, lots more like that. No BHS.

Oh, there's a John Lewis, I'll go there.

OP posts:
LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:35

loud and proud nqc

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:35

I know they do.

But actually, judging by the size of the mothers I generally see in the pools (and the size of the mothers I see out of the pools), I'm far from the only one who's not comfortable in a swimming costume.

I think DS2 would like to go with my friend's DD, at least when he's stopped saying he's not friends with her because she shouts at him too much.

OP posts:
LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:34

aha fo racerback deffo try bhs you will eb cunningly suprised

they do low leg too
get a cool colour too

fat women always wear balck

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:33

one adult and one kid percubicle

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:33

go to pool in costume ime
then jsut take lots of talc fo hcnaging.

youare obsessing nqc
thousand sof poeple go swimming every day.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:31

I am utterly normal, I certainly don't think I'm repulsive or anything. I just am not used to being mostly naked with friends!

(Oh, and changing rooms at all our local pools are unisex, by the way. All cubicles, obviously. I understand the reasons why, but with two adults and two to four children, it will no doubt be a bit of work keeping the changing process private.)

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:30

I think I'll go try some swimsuits on - a racerback one would be best, but it would be nice to have a bit more arse coverage.

I don't care about nipples, but would like a bit of upper thigh coverage.

I've always been anti-tankini, as they're not as good for swimming in, but maybe I should consider having a 'swimming with kids' swimsuit, iyswim.

OP posts:
LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:30

gte a thick one wiht lots os lycra
god i have eseen you neck donw
utterly normal nqc
stop being a poof

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:28

I've never seen anyone in a wetsuit at any of our local pools, so would feel silly.

I agree that holding one's head up etc makes a real difference. And I certianly don't muck about wearing a towel to the poolside or any of that crap, what would be the point?

Some of those next swimsuits look nice. The Bravissimo one looks very nice, but starts rather a lot larger than my norks - I am a paltry 36B, and would rather not wear a costume that left them rattling about, so to speak .

OP posts:
powder28 · 16/05/2007 08:27

I got a really nice Tankini from M&S. They've got loads of nice costumes in.

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:20

lower leg swimsuit

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:19

shorts tankini

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:18

and a wetsuit in a lcoal pool woudl look utterly stupid

sorry tm

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 08:17

fantastic sotume