Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to go swimming with a dad ...

113 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 15/05/2007 20:29

I'm friends with a local dad. I take DS2 swimming in the afternoons sometimes. The dad has suggested that he and his DD tag along sometime. (We do things in the afternoon pretty often, the four of us, or the six of us when we have our older kids with us.)

Frankly, I find swimming with a female friend slightly stressful and weird. I don't exactly live in a burka or anything, but swimsuits are frankly too revealing imo and I just really don't feel comfortable with the idea.

(And yes, I do sometimes run into dads I know at the pool, and I'm friendly and nice, and it's fine really. But I wouldn't set out to run into a bloke there!)

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 21/05/2007 17:39

Ok, we went today, it was fine. Well, it was a bit odd, but not as much as I feared. The kids had fun, of course, although his DD was freezing, while my DS2 was perfectly fine. His DD was much braver, though, would get rides from us, would go in the deep end, jump in, etc etc, while my DS2 just wanted to run about in the very shallowest bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 17/05/2007 08:33

I don't mind if this turns into a discussion of cossie options! It's certainly relevant isn't it?

The staff at all our local pools wear shorts and tshirts with the logo on. I am a bit at that - they never seem to get in the water!

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 17/05/2007 02:29

the next tankini is nice. i like the red patterned one too that someone linked too.

tigermoth · 17/05/2007 00:44

btw, love the cossie links. I need a new swimming costume and will definitly think thick lycra.

I had a fabulously flattering cossie ageas ago and have never found one like it. It was rouched in a single vertical line all the way from crotch to neckline. I have seen lots of cossies with a small vertical line of rouching above each leg but that's not the same.

tigermoth · 17/05/2007 00:41

re: wetsuits at local pools. I was thinking more of outdoor lidos more than indoor pools, though swimming instructors at our local indoor pool do wear wet suits, so it is not beyond the pale so to speak.

As for the outdoor unheated lido, more than half the swimmers at the club wear them for swimming in the spring and autumn - it can get a bit too cold for comfort otherwise!

Clary · 16/05/2007 21:48

oooh NQC didn't realise changing rooms were mixed. OK no stripping in the showers then I guess.

Cod as ever has fab cossi ideas. I sooo need a new one and fancied that Next one (usually go there, good for racer back ones) also yes Bhs has been good for me in the past.

Like that Bravissimo one but the straps are a bit thin aren't they? Would it hold me in (32FF) when swimming?

Fishie I like yrs too and agree with NQC we need to see the back! lol at "extensive swimming costume research".

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 14:14

He's very relaxed and comfortable, he and I are reasonably close friends, we hang out quite a bit. He goes to the co-op, like me, so is far from socially isolated, and often has mums around or meets up with them. (Lately, I often end up seeing him several times a week, enough that I've had to scale back a bit as it was getting on my nerves.)

None of the skirts are like the maternity swimsuit I had, I think I would probably have to try something on. I don't hate my Speedo one, anyway, but it would be nice to have one I actually liked.

I quite fancy the idea of a bright patterened one, tbh.

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 16/05/2007 14:01

these are quite long too

SweetyDarling · 16/05/2007 14:00

Just be aware that you are being irrational and push through. You'll get over it.

nappyaddict · 16/05/2007 13:53

what about this

or this ?

LittleMouseWithCLogsOn · 16/05/2007 13:43

i haev been thinkign about htis NQC nad i htink tis a real compliment that a sahd has had the guts to suggest it
good fro ANY friend to tkae the intiative imo and exrea good forhim and your kids to see a dad being involvesd

HOORAH

nappyaddict · 16/05/2007 13:20

have you got some swimming shorts you could wear? or get one of those skirts to go over the top if you like the idea of those. don't get a wetsuit though - then he will think you're weird!

i must be weird cos i've just suggested to a friend that on friday we take my ds and her dd swimming together.

don't worry about everyone else being skinny. everytieme i've been there's only been one skinny mum at the most.

contentiouscat · 16/05/2007 11:23

I know exactly what you mean. I used to go to a swimming lesson with DS and often sat having a coffee with one of the Dads after but really couldnt talk to him when I was in my cozzie (yes I know its bizarre)

Although he was aesthetically pleasing he really wasnt my type (far too sporty) and his wife is gorgeous so im sure he wouldnt even look at me in that way!! It was totally a confidence thing on my part I just didnt feel comfortable in my cozzie!

GColdtimer · 16/05/2007 11:03

nogoes, I know what you mean. I used to go on a lot of work trips and everyone would "meet in the pool" at the hotel after the conference etc. I wouldn't got to a meeting in my underwear so why would I meet work colleagues in my swimming costume. I wish I didn't feel like that but I do!

Aloha · 16/05/2007 10:19

Lands End is a really good company for swimwear if you hae any body issues. Quite pricey, admittedly, but thick fabric, very supportive and surprisingly flattering. OK, Kate Moss wouldn't wear them but I wouldn't wear a thong on the beach!
YOu can even find swimsuits with skirts.

slimsuit

flattering pattern

skirt

dress and swimsuit in one!

I'd just get a regular, thick, supportive, covering tank style swimsuit with a pattern on it and get in the water as quickly as possible. Yes, you'll probably feel uncomfortable for a moment, but it could be fun and once you are in the water I find I don't care.

HenriettaHippo · 16/05/2007 09:21

I don't think it's unreasonable if you feel really uncomfortable, but I do think it's a bit sad that you don't feel comfortable. Can you get a swimming costume that's basically little shorts and a top? He probably hasn't given it any thought at all, and it would be nice for the children. I agree with Awen, and often think if you're a sahd, it could be quite isolating, as most of the classes, groups etc. are women.

you never know, he might be really self conscious too.

nogoes · 16/05/2007 09:09

So I'm not the only freaky weirdo one then

I know what you mean I was nominated for a work trip to the Bahamas a few years back, thankfully I didn't actually win it as I had nightmares about stripping off on the beach with work colleagues! This was pre ds when I was actually confident with my body but still couldn't handle Roy from Accounts seeing my bits pushed into a bikini.

fishie · 16/05/2007 09:06

that comp is fine with returns too, the first one i got was too big. nice woman in office.

fishie · 16/05/2007 09:03

hmm if you want serious longevity then Speedo Endurance is amazing, my basic black is fine after two years of constant use, have only replaced it out of utter boredom.

i do treat them quite well though, proper rinsing, no shampoo etc.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:53

(And yeah, it's mostly backless, I like that. Although my thin purple suit is Tyr, I think, and it's not aged well.)

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:53

I like this one, but really would have to see it on to know how I actually felt about it.

OP posts:
fishie · 16/05/2007 08:51

there must be a good sports shop somewhere in teh city. i work in west end so tend to go there. Ilford is (oh dear) in Essex and can be found by train from liv st. It also has a debenhams, m&s, wallis, sml top shop and all your other favourites, so is actually very handy. but the ilfordites are a bit wearing.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:48

Yeah, CW and City are my nearest shopping 'areas'.

Frankly, town is more tempting than Ilford. I'm not even sure where Ilford is.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 16/05/2007 08:47

Oh, nice site. They show you what the back looks like!

I keep looking at swimsuits online, and not knowing what the back is like, which kinda matters!

OP posts:
fishie · 16/05/2007 08:44

speedo new stock end of MAY

Swipe left for the next trending thread