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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To believe that a communication system which relies on children between 7 and 11 to be messengers, is not going to be an effective means of communication?

66 replies

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 15/05/2007 15:49

And indeed, is going to inevitably be a downright inefficient and crap one?

This is the system my DS's school has in place. 7/ 8 year olds are old enough to take responsibility, so the theory goes, therefore they have to put papers, letters etc, in their bags and deliver to their parents. No-one checks that they have put said missives in their bags. I ask every day "have you forgotten anything from your tray?" and the answer is no.

So today I find out he's missed an afternoon club which I'd signed him up for, as he's never brought me back any paperwork about it. Last time it was my parents' evening appointment.

OK I know the theory, and I know it's time consuming and inefficient for the class teacher to check they've got everything and they're supposed to be old enough but er... he's not.

AIBU to expect the school to take communicating with parents a bit more seriously than this? Or should I just expect to be communicated with on an arbitrary ad hoc, inefficient, run by an eight year old basis? Am I being an over-demanding parent?

OP posts:
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WotzanameOoohhhjarmaflip · 02/07/2007 10:43

Please note this is an old threa I have come back to.

Pros and cons of electronic 'Parent Mail' had been discussed and I wanted to say I think it is FAB.

It is sports day today, and I have just had an email to say it is cancelled today due to weather conditions. To be re-arranged. No hassle, no phones calls, simple.

Technology is great sometimes.

www dot parentmail dot co dot uk

cat64 · 17/05/2007 13:23

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twentypence · 17/05/2007 00:23

Putting up a notice at school would rely on parents having a pen and paper to jot down any complex information. So it can only really be a backup to show parents what SHOULD have come home.

Last year all manner of letters and invoices from me "never made it home". (I teach piano in a school)

This year I sent one in exactly the same way saying unless I saw payment in my bank account by the next lesson I would give the space to someone else.

Miraculously everyone got that one and paid. So maybe some system where you track what has been read as well as what is given out works the best.

SofiaAmes · 16/05/2007 20:18

Also, I don't know exactly what your particular situations are. But at my ds' school (we are in los angeles) there is a fairly high population of non-english speakers (and surprisingly, also illiterate parents) so a noticeboard is not a terribly effective means of communication. People really need something that goes home with the children so that it can be translated or even just read at home. Also we have a lot of kids with working parents (like me) whose children are picked up by nannies (again often not english speaking), so something really needs to go home.
I would love email instead of all that paper, but there are at least 2 or 3 parents in ds' class who don't not have computer access (and I think even a few who don't have mobiles).

cat64 · 16/05/2007 19:21

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Original poster
GiantSquirrelSpotter · 16/05/2007 10:38

Looks like parentmail costs money though

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Smaug · 16/05/2007 10:36

I see from Wotzasname's link at the bottom (Parentmail) that they can send the letters by text as well as email.

Surely there aren't many parents without either a PC or a phone?

kslatts · 16/05/2007 10:30

At dd's school we can request that the weekly newsletter is emailed, it is also on their website.

Original poster
GiantSquirrelSpotter · 16/05/2007 10:22

SofiaAmes' DS's school book in bag system does sound pretty foolproof

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Original poster
GiantSquirrelSpotter · 16/05/2007 10:20

Good question Saggar.

I think websites are not being used effectively enough. Really there should be a section on schools' websites where there is more or less an online noticeboard, where all communcications sent out that week could be viewed by year/ class/ whatever is appropriate. This would enable most parents who work outside the home and are not available to view real world noticeboards, to access school comms.

The other issue is whether the school has space for a school noticeboard (a physical rather than virtual one) and of course, ensuring that it kept up to date.

There are lots of jobs where parents don't have access to the internet, so you still wouldn't catch them, they'd still be reliant on the letter in the bag system.

I suppose the "routinisation" of the letter in the bag system would help as well; maybe at the end of the day, a reminder from the form teacher that trays should be checked for notices while they put their coats on etc. (No idea how practical that is, it may work for some age groups but not others, depending on set up of the school and I suspect DS's teacher probably does remind the kids, but to no avail in DS's case.)

Obviously what is needed are systems which ensure that families are communicated with as thoroughly as possible without taking up loads of staff time in admin and extra work. Zapping something on to a web site at the same time as you print out 20 copies to put in bags, shouldn't take 2 minutes; setting up BCC e-mail groups of "Red Class Parents" "Year 2 Parents" etc. shouldn't take long and you can automatically send out the attachment to the group as you print them out.

I've been wondering what to suggest to the parent governor of DS's school, so would be interested to read others' suggestions. No point moaning about it if I can't come up with some constructive suggestions.

OP posts:
Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 16/05/2007 08:47

GSS - how would you improve it?

I've recently started working in a school office and the communication side of the ings seems a bit of a minefield. I'm interested in how parents would like to see it improved.

SofiaAmes · 16/05/2007 04:43

Ds' (6) school has a thursday folder that goes home with the children every thursday. You are then asked to return the empty folder (along with their homework for the week) on the Friday. I am fairly sure the teacher hands the children the thursday folder (since it always makes it home every thursday and ds is far too unreliable to remember on his own. However they are responsible for turning in their homework and the folder on the Friday. However, the teacher has set up a fairly foolproof system for them to remember. The place where they turn it in is right near the door and they all do it at once when they first arrive. Ds has only forgotten (god knows how) twice in the whole school year which is pretty amazing considering that he would forget his head if it wasn't attached.
I have several times had to remind his teacher that there is no point in her trying to send information home orally with ds because he won't remember it.

Dd (4) on the other hand tells me far more about what happens at school than I think her teacher would like her to tell me!

twentypence · 16/05/2007 02:12

I've seen some schools put all their notices on their website - makes heaps more sense both in terms of saving paper and making sure that it may actually be read.

cat64 · 16/05/2007 00:23

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cat64 · 16/05/2007 00:21

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Original poster
GiantSquirrelSpotter · 16/05/2007 00:01

Oh I've done all that, Roisin, but for me, the main issue here isn't that he is nearly eight and very forgetful and therefore very unreliable (although that is a constant separate issue for me, aaaaaaaargh); the main issue though, is that the school places such a very low emphasis on communicating with me, that it is happy to employ an unreliable almost-eight year old as its chief method of doing so. While all the time telling me that one of its chief priorities is to communicate effectively with me.

Well they can either communicate effectively with me, or they can communicate with me via my DS. They cannot do both and they must know that.

I've decided I'm not being unreasonable in my belief that kids are not a good communications method. I'm now wondering though, if it's unreasonable to expect good communications from schools. I just don't think they're attuned to communicating properly with parents, I don't think the awareness or the expertise is there, and I wonder if I'm expecting too much of them to think they ought to do it better. So many people say that school - parent comms are terrible, maybe it's just unreasonable to expect them to place a high priority on it. It probably is. (Am thinking aloud here now, sorry for the stream of consciousness.) I just wish they'd stop saying they do place a high priority on it though, it just raises expectations which then can't be fulfilled. They should just have it as an aspiration, rather than a policy I've decided.

Happy now and think I can go to bed...

OP posts:
roisin · 15/05/2007 21:43

But I don't think it is unreasonable for children to learn that letters home are important, that they need to put them straight in their bags when they are given them, and that parents need to have a routine where they check bags daily.

My boys really are not very organised and efficient, and we always get letters and message promptly and reliably.

The OP's poster has missed out on an afterschool club today: as a parent or a teacher I would be talking that through, commenting how disappointing it is, and making that into a learning/motivating experience for him to develop routines for himself to make sure the letters get home.

batters · 15/05/2007 21:04

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GiantSquirrelSpotter · 15/05/2007 20:02

Well everyone approves of kids being given appropriate responsibility. But this isn't about responsibility, it's about whether schools want to communicate effectively with parents or not. They say they do. But if that is the case, why do they design a system of communication which is inevitably going to fail? I know of no other organisation, which relies on a network of 7 year olds to communicate with one of its client groups and then claims that this is an effective method of communication.

This isn't about children and responsibility, it's about schools communicating with parents. The two issues are completely separate imo.

I agree it's not an easy problem to solve, you can't just assume everyone has e-mail, you can't assume everyone picks their children up from school, and you can't have separate systems for each little group of parents because it would be a ridiculous waste of time. But it is possible to acknowledge that it's an issue and to try to address it, even imperfectly. As MB says, no system is ever perfect. But one which relies on 7 year olds - surely you couldn't design one less likely to work? There must be better options than that.

Come on now, your challenge is to design one!

OP posts:
bossykate · 15/05/2007 17:47

batters, are you going to brockwell park on sunday?

roisin · 15/05/2007 17:46

Hmm... Our school use this system for communication, and it works pretty well.

I approve completely with children being given responsibility: it is the only they will learn. And it's much easier to train them at 7 than at 11.

My ds1 (yr5) is very absent-minded, and is often daydreaming on a completely different planet, but he had learned to get himself organised.

Neither of them are great at telling me about letters/forms/homework that they have remembered to put in their bags, but I'm pretty good at checking

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 15/05/2007 17:44

Oh who knows rebel lol!

Sugarfree · 15/05/2007 17:40

DS1 (yr8)has everything posted.
DS2 (yr2)has stuff handed to him as he comes out the door.

unknownrebelbang · 15/05/2007 17:40

Yes, but will they read them Saggars?

ChocolateFace · 15/05/2007 17:39

It seems optional for my DS (year 3)to bring home his reading book and home work. The teacher never checks he has his home work, and never seems to wonder why he hasn't done it. I only found out last week that DS has has no PE kit for most of this term( and only because I had a meeting with the Head during a PE lesson). I sent a kit in after Easter, but it seems to have disappeared. DS didn't'think to tell me he had been missing PE and Games!