Daddy and daughter date nights?

Would the father also have a ‘date night’ with his son I wonder??
I suspect not.

Its a weird american idea amongst conservative (small c) groups that a father is supposed to take his daughter out and show her what to expect from a man.

Weird and controlling.

Fathers spending quality time with their daughters in general however, not weird.

I don't think that's remotely weird Stephisaur! It should be completely normal for children of whatever gender to go out and spend time with either parent. It's lovely. It only starts to sound weird when you add these weird sexual overlays about dating and modelling gender stereotypes to your daughter.

Creepy AF

Sounds creepy to me. Dad and daughter can go out together without pretending it's a 'date'.

Eww what a grim phrase!

I used to go out for dinner and to the cinema with my Step Dad though, which probably seems weird but Mum didn't usually want to see the film 😂 I have fond memories of seeing the Iron Giant in the cinema with him!

How sad that these girls need to go on a date night with their dad to find out how hey should be treated by men

Clearly their father doesn't model being a decent husband and father sufficiently that the daughter already knows

This.

But not a “date”. All that “my heart belongs to daddy” “ silver ring thing” crap. Ugh.

And even better, 'heart' is a euphemism. They mean vagina. They just can't say it.

I'm really heartened by the majority of the thread realising and agreeing with his gross this is!

You know when you don’t want to click on thread because just the title alone sounds grim, but you just have to, to see if what you’re about to read really can be real....

Grim

I loved going places with my dad as a child and I still do have a lovely time meeting up with him for coffee or dinner. But it was never about him trying to show me how a future husband should treat me, because he didn't feel he owned me, had the final say on what a relationship should look like, he didn't assume I'd want to get married or even be heterosexual as an adult. It was just a parent and child enjoying each other's company. I can't imagine the level of cringe if he was doing all of this old fashioned dating behaviour as if he was a suitor and not my parent. And as a teenager he fully embraced me dating whoever I liked (I won't use the word 'allowed' because that implies he had to give permission).

Seriously gross! I think a lot of people must just see it as a cute parent child thing and not bother to look beneath to hood to see what they're showing and teaching their daughters with this.

Yeah not sure on the wording there.

But my dad was very busy when I was growing up. But a couple of times a year he would take me out to dinner just him and I.

My mum would let me get a new outfit and my dad would let me choose where we went and what I had.

I always loved it.

And children learn about relationships by watching the one their parents model.

My dp and dd used to sneak out early on Saturday mornings and go swimming and have breakfast. It was lovely.

But not a “date”. All that “my heart belongs to daddy” “ silver ring thing” crap. Ugh.

ps I like to think that he shows them how to expect to be treated by behaving like a respecting considerate partner day to day. No need to go on a "date" (yew) to teach that.

Yes exactly. Let your children see how you should treat your partner/be treated by your partner by treating your own partner the right way

If a man wants his daughter to grow up with good expectations of relationships then he treats her mother with respect and parents equally and does his equal share in the home. He models it to her in his relationship with her mum, he doesn't take her on pretend dates and pull her chair out and bring her flowers.

I don't think the discussion around the meaning of the word 'date' is the most problematic thing here, though it's a good point that not everyone sees dating as an inherently romantic thing (most people do though).

It's the actual phenomena of daddy daughter dating and where it comes from and what it's saying about gender dynamics. It's just too inextricably linked with sexist fundamental Christian beliefs where a girl is the property of her father to be guarded like she isn't an individual, until she is handed over to become the property of her husband (who must be someone who also slots in with this extremely defined and patriarchal gender roles).

I know a Canadian woman who had this at her school growing up - a daddy and daughter prom night thing where you were meant to dance with your dad. She said it was the cringiest thing ever as her dad was very shy and awkward.

I also feel really sorry for girls who don't have a dad or whose dad is abusive or whatever. I hate this kind of thing, not only because of the grim associations, but because it's yet another of those things that sorts people into "normal and acceptable", versus those who can't join in.

So the advert is some sort of organised group thing? I find that it really distasteful.Each to their own.

I'm all for time out with dad though. Mine used to visit me when I was at uni, (strangely it co-incided with his football teams matches at home which was the same town :) ) and we'd go for a 'date'.

We didn't call it a date. But we'd go for a meal at whatever place was doing a deal, and chat for an hour or so, and then he'd drop me off at home.
He died 8 years ago. I miss those 'dates' :(

How sad that these girls need to go on a date night with their dad to find out how hey should be treated by men.

Clearly their father doesn't model being a decent husband and father sufficiently that the daughter already knows.

It really is sickening. Not to mention the fact that there is the insinuation that the daughter is/will grow up to be hetro!

It’s just the word “date” that is a bit weird imo, not the actual concept. My DS and DH (his stepdad) will have a “boys’ night“ when I go out - which involves movies snd junk food. My DS would be horrified if I referred to it as a date

ps I like to think that he shows them how to expect to be treated by behaving like a respecting considerate partner day to day. No need to go on a "date" (yew) to teach that.

Isn't the issue the understanding of the word "date"? In my circle we have lunch dates with friends, dinner dates with friends, "it's a date" meaning it's scheduled and it's something that is important and we're gonna keep? (As opposed to casually meeting up maybe next week sometime sort of thing.)

pigmcpigface Just wait until you read up on purity daddy daughter dances 😩

Sickening.

Eww. That is weird.
If it's about dads showing their daughters what men should be like etc... then that just makes it even worse. It just shows that girls can't be trusted to think for themselves and it paints all future boyfriends as being useless.

Also, it makes it out like the most special and sacred relationship is a daddy daughter one. Not a daddy son/ mother daughter/ mother son one. They are ALL special!