When did you start enjoying holidays with the kids?

We gave up on holidays when the kids were young. It was hell with both of them, especially as they wouldn't sleep at home let alone in an unfamiliar environment. Kids don't appreciate it and adults resent the money spent when they still feel just as exhausted and stressed as they do at home. Mine were bolters too and like you, I was just having anxiety attacks every fine minutes. We ended up asking ourselves - why are we doing this? Because we feel we have to? Because it's what you do? It's supposed to be a break but for us it was way too much hassle.

Now mine are older and we first took the plunge again when they were 5 and 7. They both swim and so are occupied the whole day in the water and don't have to be supervised just as long as we can see them, they get so excited at the build up and can understand and appreciate what a treat it is. They are old enough to stay up a bit later and behave in restaurants, make their own friends and try new things and appreciate a bit of culture.

You arenormal op. It will improve - give it five years 😂

Oh God, OP, I share your pain. We went on a holiday of a lifetime with DS aged 22 months last year. It was lovely ... For the two hours a day he was asleep. The rest of the time we spent taking it in turns to build sandcastles, walk around resorts picking up pine cones, reading the same ten picture books over and over again and watching The Wheels on the Bus on repeat on YouTube. All the while looking wistfully at the mountains we couldn't climb, the sun loungers we couldn't lie on and the restaurants which would have been lovely if one of us wasn't walking DS up and down outside in his pushchair trying to get him to sleep ...
This year we're going to the Isle of Wight for a week. We've got a new baby, so I imagine it's going to be even more stressful, but at least we won't have spent a fortune on it.

Our first holiday abroad with the DC was to Marjorca when they were 1.5 and 3 and we had a great time. We were lucky though in that they were very easy kids. We went every year until we had number 3 then we didn't go for years, she was a very clingy and whingey baby and toddler and like your lo she hated sand, hated being hot etc etc it was just easier to stay at home. We waited til she was about 6 and started to enjoy foreign holidays again. Unfortunately we can't afford them any more!

When she naps, get her to nap outside in the shade. Then get out your trashy book, maybe have a cocktail and relax.

Personally I find it’s find the right state of mind
Accept that as a parent of a young child you will still be always on
But at least you are in the sun and in different surroundings

It astounds me when people are shocked or surpass they can’t just lay int be sun al day like they used to
Accept it for what it is
Get your head around it and you will start to enjoy it

I’ve loved all my holidays with the kids from 4mo up except the one I was suffering with severe pregnancy sickness (to the pp who had 3 preschoolers and HG: you deserve a medal!)

But it’s not important how others feel. How can you turn this holiday around for you?

1. Agree an hour/two hour period when you/your DH are in charge and the other parent gets to go and relax.
2. Relish nap times - at home we normally use nap times to get housework done right so just enjoy reading a good book instead.
3. See if you can buy an inflatable boat or child seat - when mine were babies I would swim around them while they sat in their little boat/seat.
4. Keep trying with the sand - she might just need to get used to it.

In short - don’t look at the overall holiday but find little chunks of the day that you can really enjoy.

I'm reminded of our first holiday with DD1. She was 18 months old, and wow, it was difficult, especially at night-time. We realised then that having an annexe area or separate room in an apartment for DD was essential, as she just wouldn't settle. My lingering memory of that holiday is that she got the squits, so our holiday was spent changing really gross nappies.

Thankfully, it was only 2 nights in a fairly cheap B&B.

What helps is to plan nap time well. Best way is to have your meal in a nice location, while baby is asleep in the buggy, after being fed separately.

We used to take one of the grandmas with us, that used to help, though it was a stress of its own. We've also had fun holidays with my DSis and her family, their kids are similar ages.

Now it's so much easier, both our DDs are school age. We can go to nicer restaurants, knowing that they can behave better, and no longer need eyes in the back of your head. We're going on the plane for the first time in the summer, and we're really looking forward to it.

So no you're not being horrible. It's such a difficult age to take DCs on holiday, basically same shit somewhere else without the routine you're used to.

I think it depends what age you like.

I found the baby and toddler stage boring as hell and being on holiday seemed to compound rather than alleviate that - the lack of routine was just ugh. My DD was a terrible sleeper till she was 18 mo which didn't help.

From when DD was 3 (DS5) I started to enjoy it a lot more as kids were more independent. We live overseas so actually our summer holiday is usually back to the UK - we're from a seaside resort so nice place to visit. We do beach, petting zoos, national trust, forestry commission etc and the kids really enjoy it. We stay in our house (rent it on Air BnB the rest of the time).

They are now 7&5 and I really enjoy ski holidays just the four of us, but resort holidays I prefer to go with another family/ families with similar age kids. We've had some great holidays where the kids all entertain one another and we share a catered villa so no cooking/cleaning. We also went to San Fran for a few days in Feb (first attempt at city holiday) and that was good too, although 3 days was enough.

Stop trying to be in control of everything! Your dh will learn to pack a nappy bag, even if he makes some mistakes to start with.

We always enjoyed holidays, even when the kuds were tiny. But they weren't "relaxing by the pool " holidays when they were tiny. Self catering with access to a pool and in easy reach of some family friendly day trips (historic town centres/beach/petting zoos/botanic gardens) worked for us. And taking turns (1 lies in, 1 gets up) and massively lowering your expectations.

People who don't like holidaying with their kids are too hung up on routines. Life is for living!

You chose the wrong holiday destination/type basically.

You were thinking pre children.

Never

I have taken DC on holiday since they were 5 months old, never had any problems at all.

If you can tell us roughly where you are we may be able to help more. Obviously not Europe as you say it is too hot. Is there a creche/kids club?

You mention the resort and beach but is there anywhere to go/anything to do for the day?

I would say when they could confidently swim. Made a huge difference , they could take themselves to the pool while we relax a bit then all meet up and relax without being pestered that they want to swim and having to worry constantly . Independence makes such a huge difference .

Had our first holiday abroad when kids were 8&6. Loved it. First time abroad with them. That's how strongly I felt about 'holidays' it was Spain and it was amazing. They weren't blundering around like toddlers. They ate what we ate, at a reasonable time. Behaved in restaurants etc.

Loathed every shitty camping holiday before that. Uk drizzle and bickering children was grim.

One thing that can work well is engineering a nap ; even after the children are past nap stage either back at the villa or in the car.. We have always gone to restaurants, visited points of interest etc as well as beach/ rockpools/ swim/ BBQ at our accommodation.

Out of curiosity, where did you go?

We used to go on holidays to the Maldives pre children. Clearly not possible now with a 2 and a 3 year old!

I totally understand where you’re coming from- i really miss the days sitting reading all day. I’m pleased to hear it gets easier 3 upwards...I have hope!.

Holidays with young kids is work, no doubt about it. I remember one mum friend having her first holiday with two mobile kids and thinking 'Oh my god, this is what holidays will be like for the foreseeable'

It's been OK for us, as we both almost always holidayed self-catering, which is quite flexible when you have little ones, but I will say it's nice now that both kids (6 and nearly 10) are old enough to stay up to go out to a restaurant in the evening on holiday so we don't have to give up on anything after 7pm.

We just did UK hols, after a few disastrous exotic hols with babies and tots.

I found I could relax more once they knew how to swim properly (age 7/8 onwards)

Then you have a brief window of "anything goes"' holidays until they are teens and find it boring and would prefer to be at home

We have an older child with autism and holidays are difficult, more difficult than when he was younger. We go somewhere close to home ( would never consider flying or a long drive) and tailor the holiday around him and they are manageable with some good bits but very tiring.

You've got to pick your destination better! Hot is no good for small kids usually because you spend the whole time worrying if they're in the sun, dehydrated etc. Beach also not so fun till their older because of sand, exposure, water danger etc. We have gone to Morocco, USA, Aus & other destinations with baby and toddler but chose out cooler time to go and took turns with the kids! We relaxed when baby napped. Toddler had a holiday club to go to play at in the daytime.
You need to re-think what a holiday is. If the kids are happy then you are happy. We wake early with kids, do stuff, and go to bed early generally unless with friends and then one adult can stay up with the friends while the other does early night with kids.
For now we do stuff like Eurocamp in Spain or France where the kids have a playpark, maybe a games room, a pool and some other kids around - we still get to go to look at some culture type stuff or go to the beach but the base is basically a posh caravan where the kids are happy. And self catering means we cook how and when we like too.
We'll look at more 'interesting' holidays for the adults when the kids are old enough to enjoy it too...

We did 3 between 6 and 12 months and loved them but they were completely different to our holidays pre children.

When booking holidays now, we tend to go for AI where food is available all day (not just limited to meal times) and children's facilities at the hotel that will keep us busy in event of bad weather. We haven't used kids clubs yet, but as she gets older and wants other children's company, we will be making sure they have them too.

The other break we love because there's so much to keep her occupied is center Parcs. We go off peak, where prices are at their lowest and spend lots of time swimming and cycling.

It all depends on the personality of your child but there will be something you will enjoy, just change your requirements and expectations (we didn't get good sleep on any of the holidays we went on in her first year, now she's over 1 and sleeping through consistently, it's much better but the flight is much harder!)

Bloody hell...id say kids clubs are a life saviour but then i dont consider time with kids a holiday....call me mean!

Unfortunately dd refuses kids clubs...i feel very hard done by.

Every age is great, I love love love holidays :)

But - if gets a bit easier after 3

After leaving abusive XH.