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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for being a SAHM

492 replies

2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan · 13/05/2007 10:12

i am a SAHM because
I have a severely disabled child. I have to be on call 24/7 as she also has epilepsy/
Dh is happy for me to be a SAHM and we manage finacially.
apart from respite we have no one to help if she is ill or in the school hoildays.

OP posts:
mamazon · 15/05/2007 23:50

" as I've said before there's almost a duty to put other women above your own children even if you think it's better for your children to be home particularly if you're working in a good job.

Xenia i feel very sad that you feel it better to put the femenist movement above your own children, i just pray that the nannies they had were good and showed them the love and affection they would normally recieve from a parent.

Chelseamum · 15/05/2007 20:52

I am sahm at the mo but getting back into the rat race in a few months. Where are you anyway?

ScottishThistle · 15/05/2007 19:11

ChelseaMum, Yes I'm working at the mo though looking for a family to share me when my Boss leaves work in a few months!

Are you looking for a Nanny???

Chelseamum · 15/05/2007 19:05

scotish thisthle,

are you working at the mo?

ScottishThistle · 15/05/2007 18:54

Callmemadam...The next position after that was for a single working (more than part-time) Mum, I had learned never to work for another SAHM by then!

I do believe that there's a heck of a lot more to happiness than money hence why I've never gone for the highest paid jobs.

Elasticwoman · 15/05/2007 16:57

Yes I liked that scene in ER - her face when she heard about nannies borrowing employers' clothes when they were away, not to mention seducing their husbands.

3andnomore · 15/05/2007 16:41

lol scottish thistle...your posts made me smile
Not sure if anyone here is a ER fan...but was quite funny when Abbey and Kovac (sp?) were looking for a Nanny and by coincidence Abbey was at a playground, finding herself in the midst of a load of Nannys, thinking she was one of them....really "opening" abbeys eyes...about what otehr duties Nannys "take" on

Callmemadam · 15/05/2007 15:22

Blimey Scottishthisle - re your response to my last post - I want to know if job No4 was even more exhalted! Seriously though, you have a good point, but it opens a wider debate about what constitutes happiness, and whether mothers - SAHM or not - have a realistic understanding of what can make for happiness. Certainly possessions and lifestyle probably don't count for much, whether achieved through ones career, marriage or both. I think (hesitant emoticon) that it probably boils down to inner contentment with oneself - and ones choices!

ScottishThistle · 15/05/2007 15:06

I prefer full-time working Mothers, better also if Dad gets home a bit earlier than Mum!

speedymama · 15/05/2007 15:05

Phew!

ScottishThistle · 15/05/2007 15:03

You're safe then speedymama, I'm not interested in your husband!

speedymama · 15/05/2007 15:02

BTW, I married for love, not money. Hence why I work part-time. Silly me.

ScottishThistle · 15/05/2007 14:57

I'm seeking a man in his late 30's who earns at least £60,000pa obviously!...I have no desire to steal your children however!

MamaMaiasaura · 15/05/2007 14:55

OMG not the hand that rocks the cradle......

ScottishThistle · 15/05/2007 14:53

Awen, I am that but I'm currently on Southern soil...I will track down your DP you know!

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 15/05/2007 14:53

No speedymama you are wrong.

What is right for every single child, everywhere in the world, is that their mother stays at home and looks after them.

No what is right for every single child everywhere, is that their mother goes out to work and leaves them in the care of someone else.

Either of those sentences sounds absolutely barking, doesn't it?

speedymama · 15/05/2007 14:49

I just don't get it. The whole thing is nonsense. Do what is right for your own personal circumstance and accept that others will do what is best for them.

MamaMaiasaura · 15/05/2007 14:47

tut tut - scottishthistle - not only are u simple but could you also be a northerner!!

ScottishThistle · 15/05/2007 14:46

Sorry speedymama, see I can't even read!

ScottishThistle · 15/05/2007 14:46

I'd explain Spidermama but I'm a simpleton of the highest degree obviously being a Nanny!

NKF · 15/05/2007 14:44

Well, lots of people don't think it's acceptable or desirable. That's why this debate appears over and over again in slightly different guises.

lucyellensmum · 15/05/2007 14:44

speedy, this classification is made by WOHM who feel bad about leaving their kids, to make themselves feel better and superior.

Most WOHM dont feel bad, unlike Xenia (is so obvious) and indeed why should they.

speedymama · 15/05/2007 14:41

Can someone explain to a simpleton like me why some people think it is accetable/desirable to pay someone to look after your children but if you make the decision to raise them yourself, you are viwed as idle, a sponger, irrelevant?

BTW, I work part-time because that suits me.

MamaMaiasaura · 15/05/2007 14:39

ROFL

Rantum · 15/05/2007 14:31

Following my own advice now and bidding farewell to this thread, may it be long and fruitful in my absence .