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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for being a SAHM

492 replies

2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan · 13/05/2007 10:12

i am a SAHM because
I have a severely disabled child. I have to be on call 24/7 as she also has epilepsy/
Dh is happy for me to be a SAHM and we manage finacially.
apart from respite we have no one to help if she is ill or in the school hoildays.

OP posts:
ScottishThistle · 17/05/2007 14:17

ScottishMummy, NW10 is Queen's Park.

I've not really been North of here so don't know areas up that way!

Justaboutmanaging · 17/05/2007 12:40

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ScottishMummy · 17/05/2007 11:05

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yellowrose · 17/05/2007 08:48

oh my god, i cringe at the "alphamummy" name and concept, no wonder it is Murdoch's The Times.

Murdoch makes me puke. he also owns Fox News - how about a chat site called: "Numero Uno Bush Arse-Licker" - now that would sum him up quite nicely for me !

gosh don't you working mums have anything better to do than self-praise/self-promotion ?

Judy1234 · 16/05/2007 22:58

I tried to define it on that site. I suggested income over £100k or a very well known person in your field, work full time, have at least 3 children, lots of interesting hobbies, look good, that kind of thing. Thank fully the site uses mummy not mum so it doesn't make me cringe whenever I see that yuck work "mum".

Justaboutmanaging · 16/05/2007 20:54

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ScottishThistle · 16/05/2007 20:45

Justaboutmanaging, I have a job!

NKF · 16/05/2007 20:43

What do you have to do to qualify as an alpha mummy?

Justaboutmanaging · 16/05/2007 20:42

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Judy1234 · 16/05/2007 20:32

My inability to hide myself is legendary....laughing as I type.

Justaboutmanaging · 16/05/2007 19:40

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ScottishThistle · 16/05/2007 18:46

Chelseamum, live-in/out?...Are you in Chelsea?

Chelseamum · 16/05/2007 15:22

we are in S London!
Looking for a ft at the end of august! For a 1 year old girl that is just the best thing in the world!

ScottishThistle · 16/05/2007 13:35

ScottishMummy I'm in NW10, where is N10?

ScottishMummy · 16/05/2007 13:08

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Judy1234 · 16/05/2007 11:28

..I hope they wear very pretty dresses, with drawn in waists and lots of bright red lip stick or you will ruin my mental image.

ScottishThistle · 16/05/2007 10:54

ChelseaMum, I'm in NW London.

When are you planning going back to work, how old will your child be, do you require a live-in/daily Nanny?

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 16/05/2007 10:40

ROFL at 1950's retro grouping on mumsnet

babyblue2 · 16/05/2007 10:11

Omigod why is this still being debated? Everyone has a right to make their own decision so there's no point in it being deliberated over and over and over again, especially when there's nothing new being said.

zizou · 16/05/2007 10:03

no yanbu.

yellowrose · 16/05/2007 09:32

well actually i see my MAIN role in life as bringing up a happy, healthy child. my second role in life is making money, and will defo. consider employing female admin. staff as and when i need them.

Judy1234 · 16/05/2007 09:23

But if you were Bill Gates or that woman who runs that profitable hedge fund in London you could do so much more in terms of hiring people, having huge funds available etc so may be women working and making a lot of money do more good in the world than simply bringing up 2 well adjusted children and keeping a husband happy.

yellowrose · 16/05/2007 09:03

yes, if you work and pay taxes (or are self-employed and pay taxes) then you can also be damned sure that a big chunck of it under the current shit govt. goes towards fighting illegal wars that i NEVER voted for.

the way to make sure you help causes is by joining a charity and being active in their work, you don't have to put your baby in a sling and go to Tibet or the posh way, dump them with a nanny and go to Africa or somewhere.

my taxes go into some fecking black hole as far as i am concerned, but at least i am active in several charities and will soon be a trustee for one particular charity, which is how i contribute.

Original poster
2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan · 16/05/2007 08:54

pmsl

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 16/05/2007 07:25

I didn't hand them over for 8 years and go and fight for rights in Burma but or whatever but women have often put their children second to a cause. However it wasn't really like that - I worked and loved them and like all working mothers and fathers just about every evening there were a good few hours of chatting, putting to bed etc stuff. It's not all or nothing and your comment suggests that under 5s being for part of the day with someone other than the mother is bad for them. I don't even agree with that.

If you work and generate tax you also help pay for very worth causes too and the poor and hospitals etc as well as giving a good example to your children. Most women do this in the UK. There may be some 1950s retro grouping on mumsnet but stay at home mothers are quite rare.