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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for being a SAHM

492 replies

2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan · 13/05/2007 10:12

i am a SAHM because
I have a severely disabled child. I have to be on call 24/7 as she also has epilepsy/
Dh is happy for me to be a SAHM and we manage finacially.
apart from respite we have no one to help if she is ill or in the school hoildays.

OP posts:
Furrymummy · 13/05/2007 10:34

I work and will be wahm. But i would NEVER look down on a sohm. There is no right or wrong answer, it all comes down to personal choice and circumstances. So you are definately not being unreasonable 2shoes. Bandofmothers, rant away it's good to be able to let off steam here!

kimi · 13/05/2007 10:32

2SHOES you rock, whoever has made you feel bad needs to walk a mile in your shoes (no pun intended).

Boco · 13/05/2007 10:31

Of course not. But it still wouldn't be unreasonable even if you didn't have a valid medical reason beyond your control, if it was just a choice because you wanted to be at home with your children.

I've never been on a wohm / sahm argument because i think you just do what suits you and your family and there's no right way. For me and my family being a sahm suits us, i love it, i don't want someone else doing the childcare because then i'd miss out on it.

BandofMothers · 13/05/2007 10:24

Sorry
Am in a bad mood and perhaps shouldn't post for a while.

Sorry again 2 shoes

franca70 · 13/05/2007 10:23

He should offer help, instead of criticizing without knowing.

sandcastles · 13/05/2007 10:22

You are doing what feels best for your family & do not need to justify your choice to anyone.

I am a SAHM, just because I want to be....

geekgrrl · 13/05/2007 10:22

yeah well your db doesn't live your life, does he?
try to ignore, he's got no clue

BandofMothers · 13/05/2007 10:21

I love being a SAHM.
I chose it. I went back to work full time for 6 mths when DH wanted a break and to find a job he really liked.
I hated it. I didn't have children to leave them with someone else while I work.
I fully intend to go back to work when they are both at school, but until then I want to enjoy their too short childhoods while I can.
I don't see anything wrong with it, don't think it's remotely unreasonable, in fact it is a natural thing for women to do since um........the dawn of the human race.

Any holier than thou, I am better than SAHM's cos I work too pissant can FECK OFF.

franca70 · 13/05/2007 10:21

Nonsense! You're doing a terrifc jobs.
And to be fair, on here both sahm and wahm manage to attract criticism.

geekgrrl · 13/05/2007 10:20

of course you're not. has someone said something?

Or is it just the general guilt? (I get this - and then I have to give myself a mental slap and remind myself that for the past week dd2 has had 1 half-day medical appointment every week, and that she wakes up all throughout the night - don't think I'd make a great employee)

Original poster
2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan · 13/05/2007 10:17

and yes my db seems to

OP posts:
Original poster
2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan · 13/05/2007 10:17

being a SAHM is often put down on here and I felt the need to show that it is not always a life style choice but something out of your controll. didn't know where else to post.

OP posts:
SNOWBall4girlz · 13/05/2007 10:17

I do not think you are [being ureasonable that is]
do you mean that other people think you should work?
ie friends family
I think it is lovely that you can stay at home with your DD xx{{{hugs}}}}

DimpledThighs · 13/05/2007 10:17

2shoes IME of you you are f-ing wonderful mother - anyone who has made you think you should change is clearly wrong.

Sorry if you don't like swearing but I feel strongly about this one.

franca70 · 13/05/2007 10:16

Is anyone giving you a hard time for this decision?

saralou100 · 13/05/2007 10:15

has somebody said something to you??????

no its not unreasonable

Swizzler · 13/05/2007 10:13

Why would you be being unreasonable?