for being a SAHM

Obviously if you're at home doing it and love it that's great. A lot of better off stay at home parents pay a full time nanny in some areas so they obviously like the lying at home reading/going to the gym etc bits of it but not the childcare. There are different kinds of stay at home mothers. We can't even generalise about those. Are the ones who have no cleaner or nanny more noble and better?

Well, maybe that's the conclusion: IF you adore your job, IF you earn enough money to employ people to do housework/childcare to a good enough standard, IF you don't mind subcontracting your family life and not seeing much of your children - you should definitely work.

Obviously, that's just very few women.

Otherwise, you need to agonise about it.

gamegirly - so typical of xenia, she thinks she is soo much better than the rest of us. I think she is trying to initiate chelsea mum into her coven! meow meow meow - just japing

it gets you that way doesn't it awen (soon you'll even be enjoying the night garden) is that ds aged 7 or ds#7 . I thought we lived in a society that was tolerant of each others lifestyles, choices etc - then i discovered mumsnet! But hey, one of the things i do miss about working is the gossip and bitching, here i get to do it without leaving the comfort of my computor chair - woohooo. I do think one of the challenges of being a SAHM is introducing a variety of stimulating activities which don't send mummies round the bend too. We do not need to accept that life as a SAHM is dull and boring, because in my opinion, it is far from it!

You know, I find the sheer audacity the amount of judgemental bullshit and sweeping statements regarding the choice to stay at home amazing. HOw completely narrow minded and full of yourself you truely come across as. No, I shouldnt make this personal; but this is, I bleive the first thread I have come across you one Xenia and the snobbery and judgemental nature of your posts is shocking!!

Right off to collect my ds7 from school. How terribly dull as going to take him to swimming lessons. I must be a terribly thick and boring person to want to stay at home..

In answer to the op - no , you are not being unreasonable. Each mother has their own individual circumstances and should be able to make the choice which best suits. What IS unreasonable is that society still bangs on at mothers all the time for whichever choice they make but fathers get to do whatever they want with little castigation by the likes of 'The Daily Mail' either way. Fathers are just as capable at bringing up the children if they are allowed/encouraged to.

Xenia! Play nicely ...

I so thought that myself also!

Freudian slip even.....

TYPO [BLUSH]

am, kind of half and half. For the first 10 years I was commuting into the City and now it depends on the week whether I'm here and where I am. It's ceratinly been easier being a parent when I was older with more money, a cleaner and more power and control than when I was younger with none of those things but I don't regret having them young at all.

chelseamum -SAHM not sham

Yes, some mothers have 15 year very successful careers; then stop - their life is perfect - lovely husband. perfect home and they move on to their next project - being a perfect housewif, mother - a good wife. And they kind of over do it too - they apply all that enthusiasm and perfection into the mother hood thing which I'm not sure benefits the children. Instead of the chidlren slotting into your lives the children becomes some kind of God like thing the mother serves whose life revolves around it, hallowed perfect infant in Prada baby gro eating organic, of course, minced steak.

Okay, I accept some people like being home all the time with small children. But I think even if my job had been working on the till at Tesco I would prefer that to being home with a baby I'm afraid. I just find it so frustrating - yo udo something and then undo it and then do it again and you aren't speaking to adults and it's boring.

No no, She is now 11 months.

Some mummies go to work, some mummies stay at home, some daddies go to work, some daddies stay at home, ho hum da de da, the world goes on, don't burn that bra!

dino, don't agree with the age argument.
I've had my babies in my 30's after a good career in TV. Now, planning to get back and stop being a sham. As I said before I admire all Shams because I just cannot do it anymore. I NEED to leave the domestic enviroment or I will go mental.

Dino, I think you're right about the age thing. I had my first at 23. We were both starting out on our careers (in fact, DH was made redundant shortly before DD1 was born) and had little money to speak of. Financially, I had to go back to work. Had we waited another 10 years, we would have been more financially stable and I probably wouldn't have gone back.

I understand entirely what Xenia is saying - I found it incredibly boring being at home with small babies and went back to work when they were a few months old.
Now dds are older I love it - although I love my job too and we all benefit from the economic benefits.
But - and here's where I differ from Xenia - I can understand that not everyone (in fact probably the majority of mothers) finds it tedious to be at home with children.
Good luck to them. As someone else said, what children need is a happy mother (or happy parents). They also need first-class childcare whether that's from a parent or someone in the parents' place.
Shouldn't we focus our efforts on making sure that society supports whatever decision you make as a mother?