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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being peed off that shop assistant made dd say thank you beofre giving her her sweets

393 replies

twobabies · 12/05/2007 15:45

Hi All

I really would like to know if IABU or not, so dd is not yet two and only just started talking. She can say thank you (well she says cue but we know what she means .

We went to the shop today for her treat as she has done really well with her potty training this week and we promised her a little choccy bar. We walked down and when I let her choose she was so excited, picked one and we went to the till. The shop was packed so she had been holding it for about 5 mins before we got to the till then I took it of her for the lady to scan and dd had a small winge.

The shop lady then says to dd loudly "well if your going to be like that your not having it back until you say thank you" whilst holding it out to dd? I said she doesnt talk actually and dd is quite shy around strangers so I knew she wouldn't. The shop assistant just looked at dd and said "well are you going to say thank you" dd is now hiding in my legs looking at me really upset. I said to the woman look she isn't going to say thank you and she said "oh i'm not sure you really deserve this then" before handing it over to me.

I think the reason i'm upset is because dd was so excited as she hardly gets sweets/choccy at all and I really thought this witch had spoilt it and made it look like dd had no manners to everyone else in the shop.

Please tell me if i'm just being hormonal or if this woman is actually mad?

OP posts:
mozhe · 12/05/2007 23:40

Twobabies...yes you are being unreasonable, but only in that it is ridiculous to give a 2 year old chocolate.And childhood obesity IS a serious issue....interestingly french children,( we are living in France ), are very rarely fat, sweets are much less prevalent here and eating between meals frowned upon.

Original poster
twobabies · 12/05/2007 23:31

She did, I think the choccy helped there

I'm a going to bed now, this has been most entertaining lol

OP posts:
doyouwantfrieswiththat · 12/05/2007 23:17

loving this thread - fwiw I thought some cultures saw it as a sign of wealth if you were carrying a few extra pounds..but of course that's not the same as class is it?

oh & the shopkeeper was a demented old baggage, hope your dd got over it quickly

foxybrown · 12/05/2007 23:09

Two babies, that woman in the shop is still a cow, despite all this.

Next time you go in make sure she says 'please' and 'thank you' and if she doesn't deduct a portion of the charge telling her she doesn't deserve it for not doing her job properly.

N'night.

Flamesparrow · 12/05/2007 23:04

Nah, its not just Xenia - its rl... you start off talking about potty training and end up lookin at links about shoes

Minds wander and the discussion changes.

MrMariella · 12/05/2007 23:04

Xenia is right in much of what she says, though strays away from safer ground when working on the assumptions behind the stats.

And has admirable confidence in her positions..

and in ALL of her posts, I have never detected humour, up and til the running for the bus thing. She's a card!

catsmother · 12/05/2007 22:58

If Xenia gets involved then yes ..... she has something of a "stuck record" mentality about certain issues.

Original poster
twobabies · 12/05/2007 22:54

Mercy: My dp just said are you all still talking about that silly cow in the shop, no I said I think we're talking about how working class people are fat and shouldn't give sweets to our kids, says he, sounds good.....what website did you say that was again..

I can't believe what this has turned into, does this usually happen?

OP posts:
Original poster
twobabies · 12/05/2007 22:50

Xenia i won't justify myself or my decisions to you any longer you have proved yourself utterly incapable of any kind of intelligent conversation with that last comment.

I shall just sit here and laugh at how amazingly blind you are to real life.

And if the shop assisant was in the slightest bit bothered about manners she wouldn't of insisted on making such an issue with my dd and would have got on serving the 10 or so customers behind me.

OP posts:
Mercy · 12/05/2007 22:48

lol rantum!

I know, I know, I'm just a bit bored and wanted a bit of a larf. Amazing what generalisations, stereotypes blah blah people come out with though.

Anyway bed for me.

2babies, do you wish you'd never started this?!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/05/2007 22:45

I dont want a debate...I just want to pick holes in the wild theories proffered with a bunch of statistics.

Its not hard, really, is it?

Rantum · 12/05/2007 22:42

Just a word of caution to all - it is futile to enter this debate - you might as well argue with a stone wall.

Just so that you are prepared....

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/05/2007 22:41

FWIW, I think the shop assistant had good, but very misguided intentions. Its a shame that your DD's treat was marred in this way.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/05/2007 22:38

oh my.......

Xenia, please tell me you are just winding folk up for fun now?

Because you are presuming vast amounts based on some most-likely googled, probably only part-read studies.

There are many factors as to why "working class" families are more likely to be obese. I think it is somewhat disingenuous to suggest that obesity in working classes stems from parents being too incapable/thick to bring up their children without bribing/treating them with sweets.

I would also point out that some of the most ill-mannered folk I have ever spoken to have been middle class folk who mistakenly presume that the job I was doing must mean I am thick, or undeserving of politeness.

nightowl · 12/05/2007 22:36

"poor shop assistant" is working class too and so therefore must have given her own kids sweets. theoretically, she shouldn't really know what manners are anyway xenia, y'know, being working class an' all?

JodieG1 · 12/05/2007 22:36

Lol mocl

Mercy · 12/05/2007 22:36

A fair few mumsnetters are on a weight-loss diet.

I'm sure they are all non U(!) working class people.

(can you tell there's nothing on tv tonight )

madoldcatlady · 12/05/2007 22:35

Yeah. I bet the nanny stuffs them full of magic stars to keep them quiet while she's using Xenias phone to chat to her mates.

JodieG1 · 12/05/2007 22:35

Oh and I don't use chocolates as rewards ( one thing they aren't allowed is hard sweets as they are horrible) but I don't do rewards anyway. Sometimes we eat chocolate but it's never a usual thing or a treat, we just use our own discretion.

foxybrown · 12/05/2007 22:35

LOL LL

littlelapin · 12/05/2007 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foxybrown · 12/05/2007 22:33

Xenia, I don't want to join this debate but your last post was a joke, wasn't it?

lucyellensmum · 12/05/2007 22:32

again, i dont want to make this personal but it is easy to make holier than though statements about parenting when you don't do it day to day.

lucyellensmum · 12/05/2007 22:31

xenia are you for real? "only the working classes think that sweets are good treats of young children". I think you sit here and work out what will provoke a reaction then the thread can all be about you. My parents were working class, they gave me, and subsequently their grandchildren sweets. I have a PhD so i must be posh now, actually, i consider myself working class and i buy my DD sweets. Will her teeth rot? i doubt it, will her education suffer? nah, will she be obese? i hardly think so.

JodieG1 · 12/05/2007 22:31

Well I'm working class and have no problems with that in the slightest. I breastfeed, am a size 8 and I did eat chocolate when I was a child and still do now. I was a very active child and did ballet, tap, modern dance and horse-riding every week and I loved it, also had piano lessons. I don't think what class you are determines activity levels or intelligence. I'm also a stay at home mum because I want to actually raise my own children and parent them fully. I believe that's best for them but don't knock people that choose otherwise. I don't live off a man, I married the man I love and we made decisions together about how we would bring up our children. We share housework etc and incidentally when we moved in together years ago I was the only one working until he got a job as IT jobs were more scarce at that time and that wasn't a problem at all. After 6-9 months he found the right job but we always have and always will share all our money, there is no mine and his.