For being peed off that shop assistant made dd say thank you beofre giving her her sweets

bumperlicious - if I was that easily offended I would have flounced form Mumsnet a LONG time ago!

I do find it amusing that a question about whether a shop assistant is rude or not has turned into a chocolate class war

I'm a single mother, don't forget. I shop on line and try not to buy things if I can help it but I accept that doesn't work for many people.

I hate the word chav. It's awful. Like the last bastion of permitted discrimination - you can't say someone is dreadful because they're black or gay or female or disabled but you can go on about chavs. I think it's dreadful. But I don't think using the word working class and saying they tend to eat worse food for whatever reason and have obesity problems is the same thing at all.

Suejonez, I totally understand that single parents have to take their children shopping, and there are all kinds of other circumstances when other parents have to do it too. My belief that parents should is more tongue in check than anything, and mainly because I can't imagine how people manage it without going insane! I don't even like shopping with girlfriends as I like to do things in my own time and way! Hope I didn't offend you!

Xenia - you're right generalisations do help in some circumstances but generally when setting strategies to improve the percived problem, not particularly helpful when applied to an individual about a question which was not at all related to what you chose to answer.

how do you suggest we single mothers manage to not take our children shopping? As a matter of fact I hate shopping so if I have to sufer it, don't see why DS shouldn't have to suffer too And anyway leaving him home alone at 17 months would (I think) be frowned upon

Chav baiting is so last season. It's toff baiting that's all the rage now you know!

Thanks for the entertainment Xenia.

No OP you were not being unreasonable. The shop woman was a twit.

Bye.

chav baiting is lower middle class? bugger. I've bought the jodhpurs & everything

Xenia - are you aware you are coming across a tad supercillious here? I'm sure you don't mean to. After all, baiting the chavs is so lower middle class

I wonder if the working class girls who wait til 16 to have babies instead of having them at 14 like most of their friends consider themselves to be anachronisms?

Some generalisations help eg if you're trying to increase breastfeeding rates and you find working class women do it less or eat worse or smoke more you can direct Government efforts at the sectors that need it.

Other generalisations aren't helpful.

As you said yesterday Xenia, "Becauyse only the working classes would think it right to make sweets a reward for children under 2 or complain about some poor shop assistant who was actually interested in manners"

so middle/upper/whichever you fall into don't and wouldn't?

Is that not reinforcing stereotypes and making sweeping generalisations?

'It probably means that your mother didn't use that word when speaking to you as mine did' !!!!!
Well why don't I know how to stay out of shoe shops then, because my dh is always going on about it.

No, it doesn't at all. People are people.
Why am I superior? I certainly don't feel I am. Surely one of the most important bits of life is achieving close loving long term relationships and I'm divorced. I don't feel superior to anyone really. I'm a Catholic and think we're all equal but that doesn't stop me having views on issues like smacking children, tax law, pensions, war, women's rights etc and feeling free to express them.

or does it just reinforce stereotypes and increase division?

no, it means that Xenia is vastly more intelligent and superior than you or I.

It probably means your mother didn't use that word when speaking to you as mine did but I'm not sure if that's a class thing or not.

The lovely thing about the internet is you speak to people you might otherwise not and it helps break down barriers and aid understanding and as I am about to complete my tax return which is the most painful exercise in creation it's a welcome distraction.

Actually I'm an anachronism. -well thats one word for it

Actually I'm an anachronism. I think I had my children about 20 years younger than many of my contemporaries. My brother has toddlers whilst I've got three children at university. Probably I bred at the age many working class people breed. Class is just a bit of English fun. Not to be taken seriously. But health issues are serious and it's appalling that your class and wealth determines how long you live etc. to some extent as well as your genes.

Gosh aren't you old Xenia.

Us working class folk could never achieve all those years of parenting. The pies clog up our arteries. We're luck to see our kids through primary shoool without keeling over from a stroke.

Surely it is sometimes a good thing to take a child shopping to teach them that they can't always have things that they want.

For the record though I am in the camp of not taking children shopping mainly because it's difficult enough taking DH shopping and telling him no to treats, and him getting tired and cranky - I can't imagine what it is like to take a young child who doesn't know any better

But I'm pg with my first so I fully expect "I told you so's when I am dragging my pram around town because I just have to get my hands on the new Kate Moss@topshop collection!

i think youll find the workign class RUT

I think Anna said on another thread they sleep with her so presumably the only chance to get sex is during the day. We've slightly got off the point.

I retract my point 5 - you are all right that taking small children into shops, buying etc is good for toddlers but not pointless consumerism and shopping every day whilst the parent is wasing money. Also take them into churches when they're little too - they like that, it's peaceful and different and free. Library is good. Park.

I have done a few hours of being a parent over the last 22 years.

As a well brought up person, I know that it is frightfully bad manners to make someone, whatever their age, embarassed by drawing attention to their apparent breach of etiquette. So yes, the shop assistant was wrong to do so and should be ashamed that she doesn't know better!

lol @ cornsilk