to think that dh should read to ds at bedtime after not seeing him all day?

My DP reads story to ds1 and ds2 every night. Is a special time for them. About right now actually, hence being on MN!

Most parents don't want to what every day? Read lo a story? What makes you think that, Xenia?

I've done it myself. I think most parents don't want to do it every day although I was reading about a couple who live in a country house with their nanny and they commute to their business in London for 3 nights a week - 3 child free adult nights with your spouse might be good and then you can entirely concentrate on work for those days and nights and more family when you work from home on the other days. Difficult to get the right balance. My brother leaves work on time as much as he can to help put his children to bed.

I do think often it's a health and diet things. Some of these men need to be on rice and veg/meat diets and sent out to jog every day and off the booze and then tehy won't be falling asleep in front of the TV every night.

xenai
water shoes

I#ve known countless men and a few women who while away time at work and make sure they don't get home until after the children are in bed actually because they want to avoid stressful hard work bed times (although by no means all men) and then they tell their wives they had to work late.

Here it is probably more exhaustion because he won't put his diet, long term health and therfore family above his other issues which are stopping him eating a proper diabetic diet.

and dh does a long day4ish to 5:30

I would slso be hurt on your ds's behalf,he is being really selfish.
My dh does everything for ds when he gets home.
Ask him how much of a relationship he wants with his son,becasue he's not going about it the right way if he does want to be close to him.

justamum alluded to this being about something else. what do you think it's really about. I'm in a somewhat similar situation (lack of enthusiasm on part of dh, not the diabetes) so wondering...

My DP does tend to doze off when he does it though...

TBH I think it should be part of the routine. If DP makes it home, I expect him to do it, and I can then get on making our dinner.

Its not optional IMO!

Xenia, both parents working is another issue and one on which I don't wholly disagree with you, but it's not exactly the issue here is it? Whatever you do in the day, everyone's dog tired by the kids' bedtime, whether you're a SAHP or go out to work. Justamum, you are definitely NOT being unreasonable. He may be tired but it doesn't take much energy to sit on the bed and read a story for 10 mins, and it means a lot to family harmony. Just point it out to him!

Is this going to turn into one of those threads?

Lets not turn this into a Xenia thread! We all know what her take on motherhood is and that us SAHM could solve all our problems by getting a full-time job! Yawn!

Oh for god's sake Xenia is there any evil in the world that you can't lay at the door of the SAHM? In my 10 years of parenthood I have been a working parent for six and a SAHM for four and I can tell you it has made absolutely no change to the way DH and I interact and parent. Why should it? We are still the same people. I totally disagree that one parent having less time to spend with the children will automatically force the other parent to step into the breach. It doesn't work that way. Once a slack dad, always a slack day IMO.

My husband has always had bathing the children and reading them stories as part of what he does when he gets in. He sees them at breakfast and then not until 6.30 ish. It gives me time to start on our dinner and gives them Daddy time. It is very important that Dad's read to their children, imo, as they usually don't get a lot of time with them.

So Xenia, it must be justamums fault for being a SAHM - are they only your responsibility if you stay home and look after them and dont don't pay someone else to do so? Sorry if this sounds personal but come on! My DP often works late, he is starting a business, but he always stays around for DD story, i read it but they snuggle up together and its really lovely family time. He rarely misses bedtime and is upset if he does so. Justamum, i would put my foot down, make him read a story, i know he is tired but it doesnt take long. Then you can make him a nice cuppa/drink and enjoy some time together. I always settle DD after stories and DP tidies away for me and loads the dishwasher.

Can you and DH agree that it is DHs job to do 15 minute storytime with him each night? You all know its what's going to happen, DS can choose his story as part of the bedtime routine before DH gets home, and its only 15 minutes (can't really argue with that!).

You never know, he might start to enjoy it.

I can't believe he doesn't want to. When DH gets home he takes every minute in the evening he can get. Yes he should when he gets home from work everything bewtween you two should be 50/50

These problems stem from one parent working and the other at home. If you both worked and therefore regarded the chidlren are 50% your responsibility these issues then don't arise.

Separately there is a known difficulty of people who won't make diabetes diet changes and their failure to do that affects those they are supposed to love, not just their own health. It is very hard to make them if they're adult.

Diabetes diagnosis is a BIG deal, Justamum. I think you have more to worry about than the story reading issue. It does not just mean a change of diet for dh. There are big health implications.

What is going on then Justamum???

Maybe he's not very good (or feels he isn't) at reading aloud. It is a skill. My dh has a slight speech impediment and I think this is why he avoids reading aloud to children. But there is one story with actions that he knows off by heart and does this one with ds when called upon. Could your dh TELL a story as opposed to reading it?

There is research that shows that boys who are read to by their father do better at school. Doesn't he want to help him? I am really not getting why any parent would not want to read a bedtime story - have you tried asking your DH what it is that he doesn't like about doing this, and calmly explaining why you feel it is so important.

And if that doesn't work, chuck his dinner in the bin.