In not really liking my mum singing Christian songs to my baby?

I think anarchy in the UK would be far less offensive - or maybe Too drunk to f**k by the Dead Kennedys.

I mean these religious types - they are all out to get us, you know.

Few are more hostile to Christianity than me, but I really don't see how songs at any age are going to make your kid lose the ability to think. One of my favourite songs has always been "Oh happy day", doesn't hurt me.
Very very few blokes take up any idea because their grandma wanted them to.
At a more strategic level, I don't see ignorance as a defence against superstition. That's why religious types want influence over schools so they can foist it on kids without "offensive" disagreement.
Let DC hear about Christianity, you only have to look at it's numerical decline to work out that it's simply not an attractive set of ideas to educated people.
What you don't want is to build it up as some sort of "secrets your parents don't want you to know".

YABU. Some christian songs are really quite lovely and certainly no worse than a lot of the horribly depressing and violent traditional children's rhymes and songs. I agree with Blu, pick your battles. And I think you can be fairly confident that your ds is not going to be indoctrinated by one grandparent singing him religious songs, or even later on taking him to church.

My parents are both scientists and although my mother was brought up Catholic and my father was brought up Jewish, they are both atheists and brought us up that way. However, that didn't stop my mother from letting our devoutly Catholic nanny take my brother and I to church. Or stop us from celebrating Christmas, Chanukah and whatever else was going at the time while we were growing up. Both my brother and I are still atheists. Although, funnily enough, I am now sending my dd (4) to a Jewish nursery as it happened to be a really good one that was recommended by my boss who sent his daughter there even though they aren't Jewish and in fact now sends their daughter to a Jesuit primary school. Recently my dd tried to tell me that God created everything, including the earth, but before I could think up a respectful way of disputing her theories, ds (6) told her that that was ridiculous because everyone knows that the earth was created by the Big Bang (not a theory he has yet been taught at school, by the way). Dd has since conceded that the Big Bang may have created the earth, but that God created the houses and cars. All of this is to say that I think that my children will be more tolerant understanding people by being exposed to a variety of different religions and thoughts and because I have given them the exposure and freedom to learn about things before they make up their mind. And really there are worse things that a child can do than decide that they believe in God or want to follow a religion other than the one their parents believe (or not) in.

Also, isn't it possible that your mother truly believes that people who aren't good christians will go to hell, and maybe it might be nicer to not constantly remind her that that's what is going to happen to her grandson. I suspect it's unlikely you will deconvert her at this point in her life, so why not humor it and enjoy that fact that you have a loving caring mother in your and your son's life.

My mother has always been appalled by my not baptising DD and DS. Once, at a church wedding, DD had a temper tantrum and I had to take her outside.... My mum said 'well, of course she will scream in a church if she hasn't been christened'

quite right ruty.
I went to church (christening) on |Sunday and I was appalled by the quality of the modern hymns. I sing a lot of sacred music, which is just sublime, but frankly the kind of stuff sung in churches every sundry is banal drivel
imo

Theurbandryad - my dd's father is Jewish by faith (he's somewhat lapsed).

wise advice Blu. the problem with many christian songs [particularly happy clappy] is that they are so toe curling and moronic musically. However there are some beautiful religious songs too and i wouldn't mind them getting sung to my ds - a lot of church music is just great music - doesn't really indoctrinate i think - think of all those cathedral choir boys who turn into raving hard drinking athiests [i'm not including Aled Jones btw]

my mum used to sing some beautiful religious music to me when i was a kid - wish she was around to do the same to ds...

You're such a kiss'n'tell girl, Fio....

its only songs TBH, i have chosen to raise DD2 a catholic, DP is agnostic but has no objections as it does teach decent way of living IMO. But i think i would be uncomfortable if it went any further than songs. But i think that when ds goes to school he will be exposed to christian songs, and other religions hopefully. That is my only concern re bringing up dd2 as catholic as she wont be exposed to other religeons which i think is important in a multicultural society.

no, you are not being unreasonable but I agree with Blu.
any influence she may have will be pretty minor compared to your influences on your child.
oh and Tony Blair isn't Catholic iirc, though I think Cherie is

sorry - urbandryad. Glad you were not offended that I mentioned that.

But, you know, that 'it takes a village to raise a child' thing means that sometimes people do things not as we would like them done...but the mix and the challenge is part of what makes our chiuldren able to go out into the world having experienced a range of inter-actions, not all giving the same message.

Good luck!

Lol, it is funny tissy because when my mum was married to my dad she consented to not baptising us/taking us to church and so on as he was strongly against it. I think her granddaughter may feel the brunt of her re-embraced religion.

sorry, thread has moved on a bit- I was responding to LittleSarah)

my mother threatens to take dd and her 3 cousins to be baptised while she is looking after them in the summer! As she goes to a fairly traditional C of E Church, and I know the service involves asking the PARENTS and godparents various questions- I think she's teasing (in an "I wish you would get on with it yourselves" kind of way).

And I speak as someone who had one grandmother doing her best to tell me, from an early age, that black people are to be avoided at all costs for all sorts of bizarre reasons, another teaching me gypsy lore and practice from her own upbringing, and sitting enthralled through methodist chapel services most weekend listening to my grandfather who was a lay preacher. My Dad was a vocal athiest, my Mum a low-key 'default' christian. I am now an athiest, with an abhorrence for racism.

Just to add, no I don't think that YABU, it would annoy the hell out of me

but dryad, he's never going to be forced to go to church is he?

He might want you to give him alift though when he's a teenager

I just think you're very brave to tell your mum not to at all. I was also brought up in a very evangelical happy-clappy Christian household and I ahven't confessed to my parents yet that I don't believe in it any more, to the extent that when we visit we all trot down to church dutifully

If you actively shut out Christian influences, you might end up with a child who becomes a committed Christian and resents you for banning it.

Your opinions are not necessarily what your children's will be.

I think this is about you and your mother. Not about whether a baby can be indoctrinated. Even if he were five or 10, a few of Granny's songs wouldn't make him a Christian. There's a lot more to it than that.

Pick your fights.
Your ds is unlikely to be converted by one member of the family in the context of your own role in bringing him up - he will be aware - but all that will do is give hi something else to consider when he is old enough to decide for himself. Keeping a child separate from differnt views when small is not, imo, the best way to develop the idea that many people believe many different things, and to grow up with tolerance and understanding of that.

Personally, i sympathise: I would be irritated by a pro-active mission to convert him...but tread carefully - and to be very blunt - you have already lost contact with one of his grandparents because of wanting things done your way.