To not want my children to go to my friends wedding ???

of course you;re not bein gunreasonable!

Your friend seems a bit pushy. I wouldn't imagine she'll look twice at your kids on her wedding day.

You go and enjoy yourself.

Is there going to be someone there she doesn't want you to get off with?

It's nice that she has invited them - if you hadn't had a babysitter it would've been a pain if they weren't invited.

But it's totally up to you if they go & if they don't. I think it's perfectly reasonable for them not to go. They probably wouldn't actually enjoy it as much as your friend thinks & you wouldn't be able to relax.

I would only bring my kids to a wedding if it was immediate family or the child was a flowergirl/pageboy - and I would still pack them off with their grandparents at around 9pm so I could enjoy the rest of the evening!

YANBU

We were the first in our circle of friends to get married and have kids.
When we were subsequently asked to their weddings they thought we were awful for not wanting to bring our children.
Now they have their own children - they understand why.
Unless children are really close family - better off at thome.
Your friend sounds a little - er - demanding btw.

ooh pressure - I know exactly what you're on about and frankly I think you're being really brave/kind being her bridesmaid at all!
My best friend got married in 03, and my Ds was 8 weeks old. I nearly lost her friendship completely due to a similar situation.
She'd asked me to be a bridesmaid the previous autumn, just before I found out I was having a baby...obviously I said I wasn't sure if I'd be able to. She kept doing the same thing, saying she'd ask me nearer the time, etc. while I kept saying 'I don't think I can'. She just wasn't listening.
(BTW I live in East Kent, she;s in Shropshire so it would have meant a 300 mile trip to be bridesmaid for a day - with 8 weeks baby, and no partner either).
I didn't do it in the end, and right till the last few weeks she was on at me to 'make my mind up' when in fact I already had been telling her I couldn't do it for months.
She got really angry and said she cried the night before her wedding, it all seemed totally out of proportion IMO, she had loads of other bridesmaids and it was a huge do, plus we weren't in regular visiting contact anyway.
Eventually we managed to sort it out but it took about 2 years. I still don't get why I was so necessary...but she'd never had a baby and I suspect your friend will understand about your DC's if she ever does. That was what it took for us to see eye to eye again.
Don't take them, and be clear about it now, - it's really not a big deal for her but would be for you! Enjoy your night, I say!

YANBU, two of friends are getting married next year, we will take dd to the church for one of them but not to the rest of the wedding and as the other is having a civil ceremony so all day at one hotel she will not be attending any of it.

NuttyMuffins - you are totally right. You need some time alone and to enjoy yourself without running after the kids you need to be you, not mum for a few hours....Yes im sure they would have a great time, but would you?.

Does you friend have Kids????

I was at a friends wedding in April there and my Ds was invited but i left him at home with his Auntie, my other friend who also has a Ds took hers to the wedding and she had to leave at 7.00 to take him home. She did say to me a few days later that she had wished she had left him at home so she could have enjoy the day better!!!!!.

Stick to your guns and enjoy the day.....

You are not unreasonable.
I NEVER take my kids to weddings I like to enjoy myself!

YANBU
I wouldn't take my son to a wedding even if he was invited. We wouldn't have as good a time (and however much you love your dc's you are more than entitled to a break sometimes!) and neither would he. Plus grandparents love having him so its win win all round!

Maybe she is just clueless? I thought it would be lovely having little ones on the dancefloor and invited a few to the whole thing - the excitement of the church, running about in a hotel, the meal etc. tired the poor mites out and they were all tucked up in bed by the first dance!

They were all amazingly well behaved btw!

YANUBU.
But Y freind IBU to try to force you.

YANBU. Not at all. Yhey are your kids. Your responsibility. It is nice to take kids to weddings sometimes, but you cant relax to the same degree.

I think that it really is your decision and it is not fair for her to try and pressurise you into doing something you don't want. I also think, however, that leaving the door open for a while is quite nice of her. The wedding isn't for another 15 months. By then you may feel differently. Maybe they could come for an hour or so, maybe you could ask your friend what provision she is planning to make for them, ie, why does she think they'll have fun?

But first and foremost, you have to make the decision that best suits you and your dcs.

Not unreasonable. I was talking to a friend about a reunion she's having with some old schoolfriends who are saying 'oh yes, bring your daughter!' and we were sympathising about how THEY would get to admire her cute 3yo and laugh at her little toddler-isms while SHE wouldn't get to finish a conversation all day and have to have half an eye out for hazards all the time. She is NOT taking her DD!

Is she meaning to be supportive of your situation as a mum? Think how pee-ed off lots of people get if their children are NOT invited to weddings and the hassle of sorting babysitters etc. Could she think your reluctance is down to you not wanting to 'impose' on her wedding and so she is trying to persuade you it is no imposition...

I asked my friend not to invite my children to her wedding so DH and I could enjoy ourselves!!

Just as well.

Got sooooo hideously drunk and puked all over the hotel room!

DH was NOT amused and I was SOOO ashamed.

Am glad the children were not there tho if they had I am sure I would not have got so drunk!

sorry
but its also fine for you to want TO ( not them )oops

I think she's cool to be ok about them coming, but its also fine for you to want them to enjoy your friend's day/evening without the constant trups to the loo, and time consuming stuff.

I was a horrible bride, and said no kids at my edding, lol, not that ant of my friends had any, but there were some, distant ones, I hardly knew and i just wanted it to be a grown up do, and tbh, i think their parents really had a laugh.

YANBU!

YANBU. You hereby have permission to go, let your hair down, dance the whole night, drink and be merry guilt free. You deserve it, and your children will have a great time with granny.

well if she wants them there so much why are they only invited to the evening bit??

odd.

and no YANBU. she probably has a romantic notion of darling little children running around her feet having a lovely time. not tired, bored children whining wanting to go home!

YANBU