to think that people that are responsible with their money...

thanks for the tip, rabbleraiser!

Having lots of money doesn't make you happy - what makes a person happy is having enough money so there's no need to worry about debts, rent, whether to pay the gas bill or have no food for a week. This is what it's like to live on the minimum wage (which is not a living wage) or on benefits. You can exist on this sort of income if you eat very basic cheap food, never buy any new clothes, never go anywhere apart from work... but just try to think about living like that for years withou even being able to treat yourself to a glass of wine or a cup of coffee in Starbucks... What I really f hate are comfortably off people who go on about the "joys" of a simple, non-consumerist life and advocate "downsizing". You can't downsize from f all.

On the radio the other day it said the people who earn more money are less happy, cant rememeber percentage now

It's inevitable you might appear like that, that's true.

I think gettting divorce and long marriages failing tends to make you more humble rather than showing off actually. You're not a smug married any more but a very public failure instead.

And I could move us into a small flat and get rid of the mortgage so in a sense it's my choice to have it, a choice most people don't have.

Can I just clarify that I didn't say Xenia was bragging - that was another poster. I just said her post seems condescending.

I dont think Xenia being honest makes her a bragger shes just telling it like it is. Ive never been poor either - does not mean Im sticking two fingers up to those of you you have.

Sorry for making the thread depressing OP.

newlife - sorry it's getting you down. i've been rich and very poor and i've hated being poor. always having worries over paying bills in the back of your mind so that you can't fully concentrate on anything else or enjoy something without worrying/feeling guilty. and people who act like they're superior because they have enough money.
i don't think xenia was meaning to brag btw.
a lot of not having debt is to do with good luck - most of my problems stem from selling my first small business to a man who has never paid me anything. he also has tried to ruin my name to justify not paying. i was left with debts through no fault of my own, and the legal aid where i live is still too expensive - i had to give up on taking him to court

not boring - just using what we have and not spending what we don't have.

I don't care whether you are 'really' poor or not. Your online persona certainly isn't - we all know that.

That isn't the point. Your condescension is the upsetting and infuriating thing for me.

I'm cool with people being wealthy - many of my friends are. I am not envious, although I'd like to be wealthy myself. I have plans - they may not come into fruition as the state seems to demand that once you are down you stay down...

I just HATE the stigma, the wrong assumptions and the way it is so tough when you are already trying so hard.

i am good with money and i am deadly dull.

newlife, of course I have no idea. I never really said I did. Even when I was 22 and trying to pay for full time childcare and work full time and pay a mortgage that wasn't poverty. We certainly never could afford things like orange juice and we cycled everywhere but we had a house and work. We have at times been prepared to work days a week or through the night but we are lucky the work was always there to be done.

The post divorce debt to pay my ex husband all that money might well be over £1m but of course I'm not poor in any sense.

The nanny is just part time after school so not really a proper nanny and she doesn't work every day but I've enjoyed the non consumerism of her.

Other tips... we virtually never eat out. Don't replace clothes until the holes and the repairs to teh holes have worn through. We bought 2 cars which each cost under £900 this year. But I'm obviously playing at this. I earn a lot and we're fine. I'm not like really poor.

You don't know what being poor is then Xenia.

Sometimes the debt is so chuffing ridiculous you might as well be dead if you can't treat yourself to things like a nice dinner or a trip on the bus.

There is little joy when having no money is there like a black shadow over everything. Why do you think people with no money spend what they have on drink, drugs and fags or other 'non-essentials'.

I bought £6 silver sandals (before I realised my benefits would be delayed by over 3 months and I'd have nothing). By rights I shouldn't have bought them as I could have bought second hand - and should have done since I live on the benefit minimum amount needed to live on.

However, if I cave in to the reality of not daring to switch on a light because I can't actually afford the electricity to power it, or buying shitty shoes from the charity shop, I swear that will be the day I give up on life.

So fuck you as you watch on in wonder as you experience the prudence similar to that of a poor person Xenia.

Fio - here's wishing black cats your way...

She sounds an absolute gem Xenia

I don't think she's bought any new clothes for 7 years.

Always brings her own food - I've never seen her eat any kind of processed food or drink other than tap water except tea with lemon.

Doesn't have a mobile, computer, internet access, telephone answering service even via BT call minder.

Lovely very old car

Outings for twins things like going out to look at dogs or walking and making dens in the woods - things that don't cost a penny

And she's very good at taking them out without her purse so there's no chance for them to buy say an expensive chocolate muffin at Cafe Nero that might feed a family for a day at the poorer end of the scale.

Hobbies seem to be walking long distances - she'll walk a mile for the exercise sometimes up to this house

It's great to see and different from younger nannies we've had who are more like my teenager early 20s daughters who are more consumerist.

Okay Im boring - Im loaded - but yes boring

Fio, please fill in a bank charges claim form....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xenia what else does the nanny do that is non-consumerist, I could do with a few more tips!

YOu are being unreasonable. But I do agree.