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Original poster

Can we talk about Mothers Day flowers and whether I'm being mean

162 replies

DoesanyoneplaytheXylophone · 07/03/2018 10:32

I'm not a fan of Mothers Day. I don't need or want one "special" day to be shown how loved/appreciated I am - I expect that on a regular basis!

MIL, on the other hand, expects a bouquet of flowers delivered to her door on the day. We live 3 hours away and can't visit then so it usually costs about £50 for (judging by the photos MIL sends) a rather mediocre display of flowers.

WIBU to suggest DH sends her a £20 M&S voucher and asks her to treat herself?

OP posts:
Fugitivefrombrusstice · 07/03/2018 10:47

It's really about what she prefers, not what you would prefer in her place. If flowers are what she likes (my mum is the same, she would always choose flowers over anything else) then that's what she should get.

I think it's ok to have a discussion with your husband if it's hard for you to afford £50, but I also think there are lots and lots of places that would do you a nice bouquet for much less. Local florist, bloom and wild etc would all be cheaper than that.

Trinity66 · 07/03/2018 10:45

Its his mother, let him decide what to get her

Original poster
DoesanyoneplaytheXylophone · 07/03/2018 10:44

Thanks for replies.

I don't tell DH what to do, we discuss expenditure as we need to keep a careful eye on money.

I'd prefer a voucher because I could either get some really nice flowers, or wine/food, cosmetics. On the rare occasions someone has sent me flowers, I've profusely expressed my gratitude, whilst actually thinking the money could have been better spent.

OP posts:
LeighaJ · 07/03/2018 10:44

Unless you're struggling financially to pay for them then you're being unreasonable.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 07/03/2018 10:44

Agree with everyone else. Saying “here is your money now go buy the flowers we’re forced to pay you for” is horrible. It probably makes her so happy that her adult son still takes the time to do a nice thing for her. Why are you trying to ruin that?

Eeeeek2 · 07/03/2018 10:40

Google a local florist and order direct

ZeroFuchsGiven · 07/03/2018 10:39

I think its not really your business what your dh does for his Mum,, unless it is eating into family money which you can not afford.

TSSDNCOP · 07/03/2018 10:39

If that’s what pleases her, that’s what DH should send.

You can send your mum what you think it know she would like.

jaseyraex · 07/03/2018 10:37

Surely it's up to your DH what to get his mum? If you can't afford £50 then try elsewhere for flowers or a smaller bouquet.

PinkHeart5914 · 07/03/2018 10:36

I think of mil likes receiving flowers and your dh has always sent flowers, then he doesn’t stop doing that tbh.

The day might mean nothing to you and the flowers might be a mediocre display in your opinion but maybe as you won’t be visiting mil on the day they mean a great deal to her and I think for a lot of people vouchers are a cope out present, like I couldn’t be bothered but have £20 in vouchers even though i know you love flowers

Wishiwasholsk · 07/03/2018 10:36

Why don't you stay out of it and let your dh buy for his own mother?

Just because you're not a fan of mothers dsy doesn't mean other people can't be Hmm

Fugitivefrombrusstice · 07/03/2018 10:35

I think it's a bit unreasonable for you to decide what your DH does for his mum on Mother's Day (unless money is very tight and you'll struggle to pay £50).

I also think that a voucher is quite a thoughtless present if it's for someone that you know well unless they have expressed a preference for it. This is especially true if she lives 3 hours away as your DH probably can't give her the regular appreciation you said you expect yourself!

Has your husband tried bloom and wild? They post flowers through the letterbox and you would get a lovely bouquet for much less than £50.

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