Can we talk about Mothers Day flowers and whether I'm being mean

Looked at the Bloom & Wild suggestion. That wouldn't work for MIL as she likes to be presented with them smile

But I f she likes to be presented with them then of course your voucher idea is unreasonable.
What are you really asking here?

Yabu to suggest what dh must by his dm but at the same time i personally think £50 is a lot of money to spend on flowers but again it depends on your overall finances and whether you can afford this on your joint budget.
But tbf if money isn't an issue i wouldn't be telling him what to buy or spend on your mil

Why does a bouquet of flowers on a specific day say "I love and value you"? It doesn't.

It does for her, and it does for a lot of women - just read the threads on here about Mother's Day not being acknowledged.

It doesn't matter what YOU think OP< it's about your MIL here.

I agree OP, think £50 is far too much for flowers. Also wouldn't expect anyone to spend that on flowers for me! A thoughtful card and small gift is better I think. I do hate these 'Hallmark holidays' though, all the marketing to make us feel guilty, and piles of tat in the shops. My DH also does the flower thing and it bugs me, but it's his choice so I have to keep my feelings to myself!

You are being interfering, controlling and mean

Why the personal insults? Would you say that in person? I do hope not.

OP get your DH to do Bloom & Wild. I get the "presentation" thing but it's much cheaper and it's likely the post(wo)man will knock on the door with the parcel although in theory they go through most letterboxes.

why does the OP have to visit her MIL and take her for lunch on Mothers Day?

she doesn't. It would be a nice gesture as opposed to let her DH go on a 6 hours return journey on his own to take his mum for lunch. I am probably too used to do things as a couple, not because we have to, but because it's easier, and we do like spend time together.

Seriously Pinata ?

You think the OP should take over ordering MIL's flowers instead of MIL's son doing it?

You are being interfering, controlling and mean. I say that as someone who isn't bothered about getting anything myself.

'I don't need or want one "special" day to be shown how loved/appreciated I am - I expect that on a regular basis!'

MIL isn't expecting that. She doesn't get that. What she would like is some flowers on one day of the year. Hardly a big ask.

Also if you have to remind him to do it why don't you just order a more reasonable bouquet or a lovely plant. That's what I'd do.

I think £50 on a bouquet is too much especially if you're watching the pennies. The thought is just the same if you spend half that you don't need to stretch yourself to show you care about someone.

I would get a £25 bouquet from interflora and a card I'm sure she would still be very pleased.

How does a bunch of flowers on a specific day express that appreciation? It's just a box ticking exercise. I wish as women - mothers and daughters - we'd call an end to such guff

Cant you see not everyone thinks like you though? I dont think its "guff" at all. I dont need flowers to know my boys love me or to feel appreciated but its just nice. Plus my youngest 2 love doing it to.

Cavoli why does the OP have to visit her MIL and take her for lunch on Mothers Day? Why does the OP have to arrange it? Surely that is down to her DH to do or not do!

My MIL used to expect that - she was overall a lovely woman but her expectation around mothers day involved everyone dancing attendance on her and driving the grandchildren there. The fact I am also a mother and might not want to spend my day that way (getting the kids up early, clean and nicely dressed and breakfasted and packed into the car with flowers to give her, and then driving to the in-laws, hanging about there before driving to a restaurant, then driving back to the in-laws to hang about more ...spending ten hours with the in-laws before driving the kids home and doing bedtime ready for school in the morning) was never to be mentioned.

In the end I got cross (with DH not directly with MIL) and pointed out the blindingly obvious - that if mother's day was being "observed" as a day to appreciate mothers, and what I wanted was a lie in, not presents or a long day of driving about and small talk and wrangling the kids at a restaurant etc) then why was that less important than his mother wanting us to do all that stuff. Her wishes for the day totally overruled mine in every single way.

In the end he took the kids to her and I stayed at home and had the day to myself, although the kids from about 5 or so started bringing me "breakfast in bed" which they enjoyed and was sweet at 5am-

My mother is just the same as MIL was - when she was a young mother she never visited her mother or sent her flowers on mothers day, just phoned, and she had high expectations of presents and cards and would in fact cry if these didn't meet her expectations. As a mother of adults and grandmother she continued to expect mothers day to be about her, and expected her daughters not to mention the fact they were mothers too, but to behave as if she was also solely responsible for the existence of her grandchildren, and buy her presents, cook her meals etc.

It is an odd phenomenon and I don't know whether its that the generation both our mothers belong/ed to was the one which first really bought into the commercial mothers day in a big way and so felt it belonged to them, or just personalities...

If flowers are the gift she wants then flowers are the gift she should get. It's clearly not a box ticking exercise for MIL.

Try www.bunches.co.uk OP - lovely flowers, hand delivered, not expensive and some even come with cake / chocolate / gin

I'd say get her the flowers if they make her happy, but try and find a cheaper version. Or how about a flowering plant? My DM turns her nose up at so many gifts my DSis and I have given her, I'm at the point of giving her a card and a smile (she would be very put out!) My DM would prefer a voucher, but MIL would prefer flowers ... everyone is different. I know that some people say vouchers are thoughtless, but my DM thinks flowers are thoughtless!

Barbara I think lunch costs the same whatever day of the year! . And yes I do have lots of lunches out anyway but I'm afraid you ain't gonna convince me about the futility of mothers day and not sure why you would want to anyway!.Live and let live

'I'm not a fan of Mothers Day.'

She is though

So let him get on with it

I love getting flowers and I'd be a little bit sad if on the two occasions a year I get sent some (valentines day and mothers day) they did not arrive. I photograph mine and use the picture as a screen save which extends my enjoyment for a long time. These days the quality of flowers seems to be much better so yes, YWBU to ask DH to send a voucher when flowers go down so well with your MiL

Meh.

She’s clearly raised a thoughtful son and for that alone you should express some thanks. Get he the flowers and stop moaning

Bit late this year, but you could try to arrange for DH and you to be free and go and visit her next Mother's day - with a cheap bunch of flowers from your supermarket but an invitation for a pub lunch.

you don't have to like mother's day, but you are very unreasonable to expect a son - your DH - and his mum to be the same.

I frickin love mothers day. I don't have to do any boring household chores. I get little pressies, taken out to lunch. It's kinda like another birthday

But why limit that sort of thing to only a few days a year? Why not go out for lunch, buy flowers and have a day off from 'boring household chores' on any day you like, rather than because the calendar and big business is telling people to?

If you're not paying well over the odds because the entire country is trying to do the same thing on the same day, you can afford to do this sort of thing much more often and usually get a better quality result.

But it's not necessarily the florist, it's the price you pay for buying flowers, to be delivered, on one of the days of peak demand, at a time of year when they have to be imported and is probably not a good time season/weather wise anyway.

The OP is right to question the value of making such a purchase. If the MIL realised how expensive these not very impressive flowers were, she might be horrified at the poor value for money.