Can we talk about Mothers Day flowers and whether I'm being mean

Don't tell your DH how to treat his mother on mother's day. You expect to be shown how much people love and appreciate you on a regular basis???? 😕
No offense, but I hope my son doesn't marry someone with that attitude.

I would find her demand, unspoken or otherwise, for a big expensive bouquet presented unreasonable tbh. If it is the thought that counts, why so bloody expensive, when you have to watch the pennies?

Out of interest, what would happen if she received a smaller bouquet, with just as much love in the sending?

You're right, you can get a lot more flowers that are just as nice, and for less money, if you're on the spot to buy them in person. If you're watching your finances it makes a big difference. So if there is someone local who wouldn't mind buying the flowers for you that might be a way to please everybody

Exactly. Like the tulips and daffs bunch linked to upthread that are £25 'discounted' from £30. There's a tenner or so (maybe max about £13) worth of flowers in that bunch if you walked into M&S to buy them, so the price is double what they are worth for delivery and Mothers Day premium.

If you in any way need to watch what you spend, you really would be a bit dim to not think about these things once in a while.

Home Bargains deliver flowers

Does anyone else you know live nearby?

Could you ask a friend or relative who lives near her to buy some flowers and drop them off?

I agree with you about the cost and standard of flowers. DH was working away and sent me a bouquet and then I got the PayPal message that said they were £51.00 which I was absolutely horrified by, and they were for me, so it's not like I was begrudging the cost or the flowers to someone else.

The same flowers would have cost about £15 in the supermarket. It cost £15.00 just for the delivery bit of the flowers DH sent me.

You're right, you can get a lot more flowers that are just as nice, and for less money, if you're on the spot to buy them in person. If you're watching your finances it makes a big difference. So if there is someone local who wouldn't mind buying the flowers for you that might be a way to please everybody.

I don't begrudge her the flowers - just think there's a more economically sound way of purchasing nice ones i.e. M&S voucher

What says 'I thought I'd spoil you' like a thrifty present that involves the recipient doing the legwork?

We get it - you like the equivalent of cash as a present. Your MIL doesn't.

Gifts are not economically sound. They are purely and simply to provide pleasure for the recipient. Just send her some flowers. Less expensive ones if budget is tight. She likes flowers.

I don't get this. MiL likes flowers. She doesn't like vouchers. It's just as easy to order flowers online as a voucher. It's way easier than going and buying a voucher and posting it.

Can you tell I like flowers too?

Clearly you see gift giving in different ways. Your practical suggestion would work well with me, as after the initial ooh aren't they nice, I can't really see the point of flowers and hate the palava of having to throw them out and clean out the dirty vase. Much rather have a nice gift voucher and get what I want.

However your MIL does like flowers and she likes a big bunch to demonstrate to herself and perhaps others that her DS loves her. The cost saving methods mentioned in the thread would save say £20 - is that really worth it put against DH getting his DM the flowers he knows she likes.

Don't order them though - it is up to DH to do it.

What is it with the 'voucher' thing??

Sounds like she appreciates flowers.

She likes different gifts to what you appreciate.

Actually I would say it in person. You are interfering, and trying to control what your DH sends his mother. You are being mean. She wants flowers, you dont think she should have them. That's mean. I'm not making a personal attack. It's the facts of the situation. Maybe you can't see that, but you should.

You live 3 hours away, I can't believe she gets personal validation from her ds on a daily basis, and I'm sure she wouldn't expect it. It would be quite odd. What she does like is an annual bunch of flowers. I'd be really annoyed with my DH if he tried to control what I could and couldn't send my DM. Similarly he'd not appreciate my interfering with his choice of gift for his DM.

Ajaslipstick, my family do help out around the house - believe me I am no Cinderella, but birthdays and mothers day are the two days a year where I literally don't have to do anything i dont want to do , housework/chores - nothing. Just chilling. Bliss

Why are you imagining she has an expectation for a big bouquet? She might have been very pleased with such things in previous years, but it doesn't mean she's expecting it .

Unless you really can't afford to send flowers, I think you should mind your own business and let your husband buy whatever the bloody hell he likes for his mother without question. Cheap and sensible isn't the name of the game with gifts.

God I wish my mil was that easy to please! Nothing anyone has ever bought her or done for her has ever been right. And yet she wouldn't be happy if you ignored an occasion like this. I'd be chuffed if all we had to do was order some flowers!

I love love love receiving flowers...because they are truly an extravagant use of money and therefore not something I would justify buying for myself.

I’m sure that’s the case also for your MIL

She raised him and you’re begrudging him buying her flowers once a year.

Grow the fuck up.

YWBmassivelyU to suggest that your DH gets a voucher instead. Your MIL likes flowers, send the flowers. A bunch of flowers on that day is a meaningful gesture to her - the recipient, who matters - and will be appreciated.

I get that you don't like flowers. Fine. But it's a bit dogmatic to expect everyone else to think the same way.

Why are you getting involved? Let him decide what if anything her sends his mother for Mother's day.

Screw that.

If it's too expensive for you then don't send them. PHONE her up saying flowers will be sent but HER expectations are not realistic and be thankful she has a family to care.

Aka - stick that in her pipe and smoke it.

I have a MIL who I don't really get on with and she's delighted with a card and a pack of flowers or a dobbies voucher as she's a gardener. My mum is a card and a call from us.

Don't bend to her wishes, send her what's reasonable and tell her to be thankful.

Lethal you say you don't have to do any chores on Mother's Day and so look forward to it.

But don't you think your family should help around the house ALL the time if they're capable of doing it on ONE day a year? Id be bloody offended personally if my family thought that was the way to go about things.

Ah, so if the OP took people's advice and "stayed out of it", her MIL wouldn't get anything at all for Mother's Day except a harassed phone call where he tried to pretend he hadn't forgotten...

If he wants to send flowers to his mum on Mother's day, then of course he should be able to. However, if things are a bit tight he could compromise on cost. We use Next flowers, they're always lovely, and you can send a lovely bunch of flowers or a flowering plant for less than £30.

They do postal flowers (with no delivery charge) for just £18 and they're lovely too.