Can we talk about Mothers Day flowers and whether I'm being mean

I expect OP's sorted this one out by now, given that it was eight years ago.

You can get decent displays for far less than that. I use Bloom and Wild

I don't think you are being unreasonable OP. Your MAIL sounds very childish and all about appearances tbh.

Actually I think your MIL is BU. I think it's very rude to ask for a particular gift especially such an exspensive one. If you share your finances with DH then you have every right not to want to spend £50 on flowers. Discuss it with your DH I think a £20 voucher is reasonable.

I’ve sent my Mum a card and a small cuddly toy (of an animal that we both have a love for) she was delighted. Depends on the person really

I think OP's learned about passive-aggression from her MIL.

But just think what you could buy for £50! Cut flowers are such a waste of £50. But then, I don't have money to burn. I hope I never become that person who thinks a present isn't good enough.

Unfortunately, OP, it looks like you might have backed yourself into a corner on this.

Is that all you've got, OP? "Frothing" and "girlfriend"? You're like a crap American sitcom. I want my money back.

Anyway, if you don't like 'frothing', perhaps stop starting threads and disparaging strangers' marriages just because your husband buys flowers for his mother on Mothers' Day.

I'll admit I'm jealous about the sun you said you were off to enjoy 10 minutes ago, though. Cold as crap here and I'm stuck indoors anyway until the toddler wakes up.

Have you cancelled the cheque yet, OP?

Of course you don't like her OP. Which is fine but at least own the fact girlfriend

If your DH puts £1 a week in a jar he'll have the money for the flowers and it wouldn't seem like as much of a cost at once. He could then get himself a half with the leftover 2 quid - everyone's a winner!

Oh, ok, girlfriend

Well that was cutting. I'm totally rethinking my stance in the light of that zinger.

MIL is passive aggressive and self-centred. She wouldn't care about a random on the internet. That doesn't mean I don't like her,

It really, really does. That plus the fact that you want to send her a gift you know she won't like, in place of one that you know she does.

And why should I look forward to Mothers Day in years to come? It's just another Sunday in March to me.

Fine, fine, it means nothing to you. But it does mean something to the woman you care about so much. So let your husband make the gesture and spend the money once a year. You don't have to participate, the woman you love is happy, your husband's not stuck with a complaining wife who really loves his mother. Everyone's a winner.

You've come on here asking if you're being unreasonable. There's a clear consensus that you are. Having got your answer, what are you going to do about it? Girlfriend?

(In response to 'it's just another Sunday in march')!

But not to her!

How does a bunch of flowers on a specific day express that appreciation?

I don't mean to be rude, really I don't, but are you being deliberately dense?

For your MIL flowers express appreciation. Why can't you understand that not everyone is exactly the same as you and not everyone likes what you like?

Buy the woman the flowers fgs.

Well, that's what i'm hoping. Otherwise he's got her stashed in a motel somewhere.

Yes, quite.

Sorry OP. I know that on here MILs are somewhere between Cruella de Vil and Donald Trump in the popularity stakes, but that just shows how very unreasonable you really are being when almost every poster still thinks you should just let your husband get on with buying her what she likes.

Hmmm.

OP: AIBU
Entire thread: YABU
OP: Well that’s just projection. I have a marvellous relationship with the woman I’ve just spent slating and am kind and generous spirited person who really cares.

You keep on telling yourself that...

As long as his name's not Norman Bates.

OP, lay off Elton. You asked a question and she's answered, if you don't like it then ask yourself why rather than disparaging her marriage. She's explaining to you what these gifts mean to people and why it's hurtful when relatives do exactly what you want to do. (Which of course you know. That's why you want to do it.)

And to the poster who says I don't like my MIL - wrong!

Oh right. That's why you've described her as passive-aggressive, told the poster in question the same breath that MIL 'wouldn't give a shit' about her, and are making a huge point about how much better you are than MIL because she likes a nice bouquet and you don't.

You dislike your MIL, you think you're better than she is and you begrudge her a gift that isn't any of your business in the giving. Own it and deal with it. And look forward to Mothers' Day in years to come.

Well, that's what i'm hoping. Otherwise he's got her stashed in a motel somewhere.

Possibly for her grave!

MrsKoala: My MIL gets a £60 bouquet 3 times a year - and she's dead! I don't get involved.

That has finished me. Priceless.