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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to work full time? Would you choose part time permanently?

145 replies

speakout · 02/03/2018 12:00

If you could would a 20 hour a week suit you?
Now that my youngest is about to go off to Uni I have no desire to increase to full time hours.
Wouldn't that be ideal for everyone- assuming money was not pressing.

OP posts:
Taffeta · 02/03/2018 16:10

I can’t get worked up about my pension

I may not make it to 65

I may get an inheritance

I may have a career change in the next 10 years

I may choose to continue working ( my mum worked til 75, she loved her job )

etc etc

Part time works for us, now.

Original poster
speakout · 02/03/2018 16:08

If I work full time my head is too full of invoices, packing, repetitive work, cooking and cleaning becomes a pressure.

I need the headspace to keep my ideas flowing and my energies high for new stuff that I need to do to keep my business alive.

Just the way I work. And OH totally gets it.

OP posts:
BringMeTea · 02/03/2018 16:07

Yet again I find myself in total agreement with ReanimatedSGB. Far too much negativity attached to not wishing to spend most of your time on earth at work. Unless you LOVE LOVE LOVE your job.

Original poster
speakout · 02/03/2018 16:05

I design, create and craft unique items that I sell worldwide.

OP posts:
Original poster
speakout · 02/03/2018 16:04

Flippetydip exactly!!!

You have got it.

My OH encourages my " forest walks", because he knows it is good for me, and therefore the family, but also has a direct effect on the £££ that I earn.

OP posts:
CobraKai · 02/03/2018 16:03

You 'kill the very thing you create?' What is it you create exactly?

PoorYorick · 02/03/2018 16:03

PoorYorick I'm a woman, I say all that time that I love it that my DH doesn't work as much as I do and that I like coming home to a calm, well-running household.

Yay! Shout it!

Maybe the OP's DH feels like I do.

I'm sure he does. Like I said, I think we'd all like to come home to no housework and dinner ready. And if he's happy with the OP being part time, and she wants to, then they should just do it and not worry about what anyone else thinks.

CobraKai · 02/03/2018 16:02

Delete - I'm not invested. I commented and OP and you have made comments directly to me.

So I responded. That's how internet forums work. It's impolite to not respond to someone talking to you directly isn't it?

Original poster
speakout · 02/03/2018 16:02

And I didn't say I earned twice as much as him cobra.

Do the maths.

I said I earn 50% more than him.

OP posts:
Flippetydip · 02/03/2018 16:01

PoorYorick I'm a woman, I say all that time that I love it that my DH doesn't work as much as I do and that I like coming home to a calm, well-running household. I like the fact that he is chilled and happy, because at the risk of sounding clichéd, when he is, the rest of the household is too and it makes for a far nicer environment.

He couldn't support himself or us on solely his salary, my working full-time enables him to do a creative job that he enjoys and to look after our household, finances and children. It also enables him to pursue his hobbies. I'm very happy to support that. Maybe the OP's DH feels like I do.

TalkinPeace · 02/03/2018 16:00

It depends on your skill set
there are lots of well paid part time jobs for those with the right skills

I work full time part of the year and not at all at other times of year

Original poster
speakout · 02/03/2018 16:00

CobraKai my work isn't like that.

I have tried upping my hours, but I kill the very thing I create.

Is that so hard to understand?

OP posts:
Hardwickwhite · 02/03/2018 15:59

I work a flexible 21 hours. It is perfect. It means I can be home most days at the same time at the DC, and now and again work more on a couple of days so that I can have a whole day off if I need to do something else. This week it meant that DH and I were able to go to the cinema one afternoon - it was bliss! It does also mean that I am likely to have to work through the weekend to catch up with myself though!

CobraKai · 02/03/2018 15:58

Bluelady - The OP did.

If you really earn 50% more than he does and you work 20 hours a week to his 60 and he's 'constantly frazzled' - why on earth wouldn't you work more so he could work less?

If you're a partnership and your job is like a hobby involving forest walks and calming your mind and you are such a high earner on 20 hours a week that you could easily support yourself independently and earn twice as much as him, why on earth wouldn't you do a few more hours?

PoorYorick · 02/03/2018 15:58

I do know he likes coming home to a chilled relaxed home and partner.

Well to be fair we all like that. Everyone would like to come home from work to no housework and dinner ready. Women don't seem to be allowed to say it as much though.

Still. If he's on board and it works for you, do it.

DeleteOrDecay · 02/03/2018 15:56

Cobra you seem really invested in op's situation. Is it really that difficult to understand that this set up works for her and her dh?

Original poster
speakout · 02/03/2018 15:55

I said he was " frazzled" - at least that's how it seems to me.

I know I would be frazzled in his situation. I don't know, maybe he likes it, he's an odd egg.

I do know he likes coming home to a chilled relaxed home and partner.

OP posts:
Allthewaves · 02/03/2018 15:54

I work 19 and it suits me. I'd work more hours if meant.dh could work less

Bluelady · 02/03/2018 15:52

Who said OP's husband was "frazzled"?

Original poster
speakout · 02/03/2018 15:49

Would you be able to work 20 hours a week without his income? Could you support yourself?

Easily.

OP posts:
CobraKai · 02/03/2018 15:47

So you're bringing in as much money as him? Could he work fewer hours (or for fewer years) if you worked more?

Would you be able to work 20 hours a week without his income? Could you support yourself?

I am genuinely struggling to see why any adult would happily potter about day dreaming because someone else is working themselves 'frazzled' subsidising that?

PoorYorick · 02/03/2018 15:44

Gah OP. If you've discussed it with your partner and he's on board, and it works for you, just do it. Who cares what others think? You'll never please everyone and you wouldn't want to anyway.

Original poster
speakout · 02/03/2018 15:42

cobrakai - r because she relies on a man to pay for her to do so.

But I earn 50% more than my OH.

And some of my week involved walking through forests yes- talking photographs for my web site, seeking creativity, calming my mind, looking for inspiration.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 02/03/2018 15:41

Yes I have mental health issues which means I struggle to hold down a full time job. Hope that clears it up for you.

It's like I said: I don't actually give a shit. I've just seen a lot of people become ill from abusive workplaces and not realise that it isn't their fault. So on the fair possibility that you could be one of them- because working doesn't usually make people legitimately unwell - I threw the possibility out there for you.

You are free to ignore it totally, but I still can't see why it's offensive.

Anyway, you get on with being as happy and fulfilled as you sound.

DeleteOrDecay · 02/03/2018 15:41

I did actually mention depression and anxiety in my original post also.