How do people feel if the man you are with is looking at other women ?

136 replies

hopethingsgetbetter · 26/02/2018 16:38

I know this is probably obvious as I've seen it posted on here before but I'm just wondering how women cope with their partner looking at other women in a checking them out kind of way? I really do not like it at all. My partner does it in rather sneaky ways (eg walking back in the shopping isle to pick up some more bread or whatever, when he clearly wants to have a closer look, or if a woman jogger runs past us he will pretend to want to see what the building behind us is so that he can watch her running). I hadn't challenged him on this until yesterday because I thought it was rather a belittling an paranoid sounding accusation. However he admitted that he knows that he does it and he says all men do it, but I know that they don't. Perhaps it doesn't matter. I know he wouldn't act on anything. Incidentally, I have (when I was younger) been the 'looked-at woman' as well. I haven't done it (because it would be demeaning, rude and unkind) but when I was looked-at woman I have felt like calling the man out and telling their wife.

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 26/02/2018 16:50

In 20 years, DH has never openly ogled another woman. He notices other men doing it and finds it unsettling, particularly when it's aimed at young women in their teens.

Ohforfoxsakereturns · 26/02/2018 16:50

I wouldn’t put up with it. XH did it. It was creepy and sleazy. If DP did it I wouldn’t hang around.

TriHard27 · 26/02/2018 16:49

Not on, it’s natural to look but being so blatant is really hurtful. How would he like it if you were showing him up by brazenly dribbling over young attractive men when you were out together?

SweetMoon · 26/02/2018 16:49

Nope all men don't do it. Not so you would notice anyway. He actually goes out of his way to have a look?

You won't stop him looking if he's that way inclined. I'd have a think about all his good qualities and weigh it up. Not sure I'd want to spend a huge amount of my time and effort on someone who does this all the time. They'd have to be pretty damn spectacular in every other area of themselves for me to put up with that.

CheeseAndOnionIceCream · 26/02/2018 16:48

I found that the best thing to do if this annoys or upsets you,is to do it yourself! I had a partner a few years back that kept doing this so I started to ogle blokes,in a way that he would notice,but hopefully not the blokes I was ogling! He soon twigged what I was doing and started getting stroppy about it. I merely said 'One rule for you then,another one for me'. He didn't do it anywhere as near as much after that well not when he was with me.

Prettylovely · 26/02/2018 16:48

I dont think all men do it.
And I wouldnt like it if my partner did it.

Queenoftheblitz · 26/02/2018 16:47

A lot of men do this but most have learned to do it discreetly.
I am offended on your behalf op that your dp actually doubles back for a closer look. Damn creepy behaviour and disrespectful.

AnyFucker · 26/02/2018 16:47

You do not have to tolerate this, op

You must know some shit men if you consider such behaviour "normal"

RatherBeRiding · 26/02/2018 16:45

All men don't do it. You can't help noticing attractive people - I glance at blokes who are attractive, but then I glance at women who are attractive! What I don't do is blatantly check them out and make excuses to turn round and look at them, or double back in the supermarket!

Somerville · 26/02/2018 16:44

All men don't do that.

Only men who who have poor self-discipline or who believe that women's role is to be ornamental.

Sparklesocks · 26/02/2018 16:41

Honestly, I know people occasionally have a peep even if they’re very loved up, but I think it’s very disrespectful to you if he does it often and brazen enough that you notice. I think it shows he isn’t really considering your feelings.

Unflip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread