How do people feel if the man you are with is looking at other women ?

Well my dp who I have been with 8 years has done this on several occasions
started off by liking pages that stopped then he would glance over with me their
female jogger once while I was in the car with him watched him watch her and it was a proper stare at her Boobs which he denied even know I was literally right next to him !
then sat in a pub one day having a drink a couple came in the lady was wearing tight trousers he blatantly started at her arse and denied it ! He has recently admitted to me that he does look at others then he actually said the next day he didn’t mean it like that to be honest that was the last straw for me I have told him today I want to end it he’s obviously asking me not to but I’m not having it anymore tbh

You're comparing your husband's behaviour with the OP's, and suggesting dumping him is way too extreme.

So now you're admitting your husband's behaviour is actually nothing like the OP's partner's? So why shouldn't she dump him for such stalker-ish / weirdo / creepy behaviour?

I'm assuming your bar isn't set so low that you would happily tolerate this. Why should the OP?

The DowagerCuntess where exactly in my post did I say my husband stalked women? The OP said her DH did, NOT me.
Possibly less sarcasm, more concentration ?

holeinmyheart - your 'kind, decent, wonderful, intelligent man' stalks women around the supermarket to get a better look at them, does he?

Lucky you.

I think argyle post interesting shows mind set behind acid attacks on girls just by other girls because they are pretty.

Very worrying. If any man ogle me when with a gf when I wad younger I would turn away with disgusted look on my face.

@Argeles

Your words speak for themselves...So it's not rocket science to speculate there's something wrong with you, stranger or not.

Just re-read what you wrote...even to your husband and see if it's seen as normal.

OP, following women to get a better look makes him come across sex pest-y. Grim.
I glance at attractive men and women but I don't ogle them. Not nice for them to be ogled and disrespectful to the ogler's partner.
argeles get help. And nicer friends

I have been married to a kind decent wonderful intelligent man for 44 years and he always looks at attractive women. Why not? If a handsome man or woman came into my orbit I would look as well.
To suggest dumping him for doing it is crazy. He is just LOOKING?
I would look at a beautiful building or landscape as well.
If he was beating you up or being mean and sarcastic, or trying to control you, then they would be reasons for dumping him, not looking at what is going on around him.

Oh op, this could be one of my exes... Hanging back to check women out.. Sitting train carriages to be closer to them. The irony was I myself wasn't shabby at that time.. At all. It made me feel feel awful.

Dh I have Been aware on 14 years once glanced at woman so beautifully I also said wow. It's really horrid. I have myself very discreetly glanced at maybe a handful of really stunning men in that time.. And dh never knew and neither did the men

Argeles, your post didn't come across as flippant and it's not the first time you've posted this shit about your irrational hatred of women your husband may find attractive and your anger at the women for simply existing.

Argeles - it's a free and open forum.

You're entitled to post your honest opinions. And others are equally entitled to disagree (vehemently) with them.

That's the way it works around here.

Instead of acting so surprised by people disagreeing with you - why don't you give a few moments consideration as to why people are disagreeing with you?

Honestly - when you brought your daughter into your OP, I thought it was going to be because you wouldn't expect her to be on the receiving end of the sort of venomous hate you were spewing. Not because you don't want to end up in prison for killing some poor woman!

😵

Sorry to hijack your thread and write this OP, but I feel the need to say a few things about the comments I’ve received on this thread.

I’m usually the type of poster on Mumsnet who expresses my opinion on a thread, then hardly ever checks back to see what others have said, unless it is one in which the OP is seeking advice or assistance with a serious/delicate matter. If I do read others’ comments and don’t agree with them, I don’t feel the need to make derogatory comments and nasty assumptions on a perfect stranger, I just agree to disagree and move on. I only comment to other posters to try and offer advice or make a funny comment.

I’m astounded to have so far received 4 emails today informing me that I’ve been mentioned in posts, and then noticing that several other posters have also been referring to me in their posts too, just on this one thread.

Whenever I post, I always try to be as honest as possible in giving my opinions, but in the 3 years I’ve been on here, I’ve noticed it’s got far worse in the last few months for people not being able to tolerate the opinions of some, and other posters being so nasty or judgmental in response. It’s a real shame.

I provide lots of very detailed advice for people on here, and many have been grateful in return, but I write one post in quite a flippant way when I’m in a bad, hormonal, heavily pregnant mood, and I get a barrage of insulting and highly judgmental comments thrown at me.

I will still definitely continue to give my opinions on Mumsnet, but I will not be checking back on this thread or responding to anyone else who emails me regarding this thread. I’d sooner invest my energy on trying to advise and comfort those on here who are in need.

Oh and my DP doesn’t do it.

I’d find it insulting.

I don’t care if he finds people attractive , say a pretty celeb etc or likes someone’s outfit or hair.

But openly checking them out is disrespectful tbh.

@SandyY2K

I love the way in which you label a perfect stranger in such a derogatory way with a multitude of labels.

op its not normal to backtrack down roads to look at women

we all look or glance at someone but what hes doing isnt right

argeles go and get some help and i hope to god your daughter doesnt have to encounter someone like you one day for being looked at

Whilst I totally detest it whenever my DH looks at other women, and it infuriates me, it makes me want to batter the shit out of the woman

I have no idea why this is the case

Mental health disorder? Extreme jealousy?

As it’s my DH who does the looking ...but I ......... whilst physically attacking her.

If ever I have talked with friends about what would we do if we caught our DH’s/DPs with another woman we nearly all say that we’d do everything in our power to kill the woman

This is why it's not a good idea to mess with married men. Yo may encounter someone like this....or her friends.

@Argeles

You're seriously disturbed.

He goes back for another look? That really is not "normal" and it is really really creepy

When I was at university I was walking down the centre of the campus when I noticed a very pretty girl walking in front of me. She was wearing a white dress that the sun shone through so I could see the outline of her legs. I may have slowed down slightly to make sure I didn't overtake her.

After enjoying the view, I briefly visited whatever building I was going to before making the return journey, only to find her walking in front of me again! However this time I didn't enjoy the view for long before I noticed a film crew that was apparently filming her walking up and down, and possible me looking at her.

With hindsight I realised that the transparency of her dress was not entirely accidental.

Now whenever I see an attractive woman, I can only look for a moment, as I can't help thinking there's a hidden camera somewhere that's watching me watching her.

I didn't think that was a thing, I have never noticed DH looking at anyone else. If he does then he's very subtle about it.

He does notice when people are wearing very unattractive clothing (e.g. flesh coloured leggings so it looks like they're half naked), I know this because he points them out to me and I have to shush him in case they hear.

argeles Maybe theres a reason why wanting to smash someones face in just for existing in the vicinity of your DH is "outside the status quo". If you don't know why you feel this way and you are eaten up by anger all the time then as most people are suggesting, you need to access some anger management sessions or counselling. Maybe to help you deal with your own experiences.

Argeles hats off for being honest. But it might be worth exploring why with someone who can help you work through it, because it can't be much fun for you feeling so intensely angry about it.

My DH is several times more attractive than me and when we first got together I found the fact that he was frequently propositioned really hard to deal with. We have been together 15 odd years and I can honestly say it is only in the past few years that I have felt confident enough in my own skin that it does not bother me and I find it amusing more than anything. I dealt with by turning anger and anxiety inwards though, against myself. But it's ever so much more restful now that it does not bother me.DH would never act on it, he was always horrified when propositioned- a couple of times literally in front of me!!!! But it's taken alot of work to get to this point, and I am very content now.

Think about it?

Glad you haven't married this saddo, op. You may wish to raise your standards.

We can improve the species by selective breeding - or not breeding.

@Argeles

"What I said previously may sound like an odd and weird thing to say to you, and I’ve never fully understood it myself, but it’s the way it makes me feel. I’d rather be honest about my opinions and feelings even if I don’t understand them."

At least you're honest:) I do think you need to talk to someone though about these feelings you hold. It would be awful to imagine your DD being ogled at by some random old man before being wallop3d by his wife.

We need woman (and men!) To know in this case they are victims and it's not their fault for how they look and neither are they asking for it.