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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel slightly hacked off when asked to pay to go to an engagement party?

61 replies

twinkleinthesky · 03/05/2007 16:43

Friend X (who eats round my house 3-4 times a week with her child adding approx £30 to my monthly grocery bill) has just got engaged. Lovely.

Friend Y offered to do her an engagement party meal for her. Ah, lovely gesture.

Friend X can invite 8 couples, me and DH are one of them.

The party is this Saturday. I have just had a message left on my answerphone asking for £10 a head plus bring a bottle.

I think its a bit odd. If I throw a party or a meal for my friends, I don't ask them for anything. I feel that if Friend Y couldnt afford to throw the party, then she shouldnt have offered. I would expect to bring a bottle or even contribute something towards the meal, for example after dinner mints or something.

What do you lot feel? Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
oxocube · 03/05/2007 16:54

Actually, I would always bring a bottle (or two ) and some food - would check with host first if they wanted sweet or savoury - but find asking for money rather tacky

ThatBeetroot · 03/05/2007 16:53

why woudl you expect to just bring a bottle?

some peopel hjave a wierd idea of friendship tbh.

my mates, woudl not think twice about all mucking in if needed

pinkcandyfloss · 03/05/2007 16:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ThatBeetroot · 03/05/2007 16:52

for god sake she is asking for some help towards the cost of a party. what is wrong with that.

butterflywings · 03/05/2007 16:51

No, you're right. If they can't afford it, then they should think about a cheaper option.

I would, like you, expect to be asked to just bring a bottle if you can.
Especially since they eat at yours for free all the time

When my sister throws parties, I usually take a bottle and offer to buy some balloons or something but she never asks for them.

oxocube · 03/05/2007 16:51

V odd IMO.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2007 16:49

I think the whole wedding industry has gone WAY OTT.

First there's the trend for stag and hen 'weekends' abroad costing hundreds of pounds.

Then weddings costing a bomb.

Now engagement parties, which are naff anyhow, asking people to pay?

What next, wedding showers?

Think I'd have to 'Thanks, but no thanks' that invite.

oranges · 03/05/2007 16:49

throw an engagement lunch for friend x and y on sunday, and ask for thirty pounds a head to get your money back?

ThatBeetroot · 03/05/2007 16:48

oh for goodness sake - it inot much and it is an engagment party - whya re you worried - celebrate adn enjoy instead of maoing

FiveFingeredFiend · 03/05/2007 16:47

i think you should buy the ring

oranges · 03/05/2007 16:46

no, a bit odd to ask for money.