to expect MIL to feed ds only what I leave out for him?

Nessie, when I joined I thought everyone's children on MN had initials beginning with d. I did think there must be so many little Davids and Davinas running around the UK!

everything aloha said

omg sum1 report me for i have sinned ...... i fed my dd weetabix for breakfast this morning

seriously tho i wud just forget bout it n leave ur mil 2 it n just be grateful for the help she gives u

i dont have any problem with my mother or mil feedin the kids chocolate sweets bicuits or ice cream as they dont c my kids often cos of the distance we live from them so i know its only a treat n the kids know they wont b gettin them regularly

rachmumof2 - exactly poster could write that down for mil so she knows exactly what to get

yes i found it, i couldnt see it for looking durrhhhhhh ha ha

Nessie, it's just a mumsnet thing, I asked the same question. DD = dear daughter, DS dear son, etc etc etc. Don't know who started it or why but there you go

Hi there & welcome, DS- dear/darling son, DD- dear/darling daughter. See the acronym list at the top of page for help. You soon get used to it! x

What does dd and ds mean (sorry i am new)

well, i kind of see where you are coming from. My son is 5 months at the moment but when he was just 3 months old MIL AND my sister in law gave him strawberry ice cream at a party, i obviously told them not to, but they still kept doing it, saying "oh it will be good for his gums". It wasn't much ice cream but it really annoyed me because i told them that he was way to young and it would probably upset his stomach. I mean c'mon do they have a brain. It ended up that I had to leave the party. After that, a few weeks later my son fell very ill, i found out that they used to feed him a different formula milk rather than the one i gave him, when they looked after my son. So he was getting two different formula milks at the same time. Now they only see my son when myself or my partner are there because they cant be trusted.
At the end of the day they should respect how you choose to bring up your own child but at the same time, you cant be so rigid all the time with the food that you give your child. Perhaps they are unaware of how you feel about the issue, and because they might think its not a big deal think its ok to do what they are doing. Have you asked her why she gave him something different rather then what you left? Maybe your child didn't want to eat what you had left him and she didn't want him to go hungry and didn't want you to think that she was being a bad grandma, however why give him porridge and weetabix at the same time?.Clearly you are not stupid and are trying to be a good mum, you know whats best for your child and you should know when people are undermining you, like in my situation. In my opinion you should try and communicate with your in-laws and find out why, make your views clear, and question them about what is going on with your child when they l;ook after him at the end of the day you have a right to know because he is your child.

Ness

Sorry, just realised it was your MIL not your mum , and very sorry if you are in same boat as me and have lost your mum. Still think you are being a bit unreasonable though.

mildred, it is your first child - I was precious with dd as well. When it gets to no.2, you will be feeding him/her choc yourself if it gave you a moment's peace. Give your MIL a break!

Yes you are being unreasonable. Think yourself lucky you have a mum to help you and spoil your ds. What I wouldn't give to have my mum back to help with my children and feed them half a ton of sweets as soon as my back was turned

I don't understand the point that there is a principle at stake. What principle? That even when oone isn't there, one's wishes must be obeyed to the letter? That there can be no leeway? No slight difference just because people are different? So that a Weetabix becomes a sign of a lack of respect? I don't get the principle argument at all.

should have had my ex mother in law who used to throw away all the lovingly prepared home cooked meals, send back the tub and take ds to mcdonalds (only found this out later).

who once tried to charge us £18 tax fare after she decided to visit him in hospital (and i DID tell her where to shove that, ex p could have picked them up if a mile on the bus was too much)

who would take him to doctors on an almost weekly basis, without my prior knowledge, or consent when there was bugger all wrong with him.

who told me i was evil for taking him dummy away when he was 3.

who told me he was allergic to this that and the other when it was actually all lies.

the first time i needed anti depressants was when i crossed paths with that woman!

ahhh happy times...

Grandparents (and mils) just can't win, can they?

NewGirl- don't you mean madewithoatsinsteadofweetabix? lol

I think you're being unreasonable.

If you work, I believe there has to be some element of compromise to fit in with the carer. Weetabix should be a fairly straightforward thing to deal with.

she could try oatibix for a change? my dd2 hoovers up two a day yum yum shes lovely and cuddly xxxx

My health visitor recommended wheatabix when my son was about 8 months. If you look at the packet there is no salt or sugar. Prehaps advice has changed, but unless you have problems with gluten, I don't understand your objection.

There is nothing worst than spending an entire day with a crying child. You MIL needs to be allowed to use her initative to keep your baby happy. Its not as if she is sticking cereal in the bottle of newborn.

Why don't you ask your health visitor if you are worried? I think wheatabix and fruit is a better start to the day than many so called baby foods.

I've decided the orignal post can't be true.

You sound like one of those kids who demand 'respect' from everyone while giving none. Despite this kind, loving woman looking after your children for nothing, which is a huge favour and one you should be on your knees with gratitude for, you offer her no respect whatsoever, for her kindness, her love, her bringing up your husband, your child's father, for her help, for her experience. Instead you whinge about her giving your child a highly nutritious food. I despair. I feel very sorry for women how only have sons and can never be anything but the despised MIL, who stroppy DIL keeps demanding respect for her hysterical, controlling ways and using the blackmail of contact with grandchildren to enforce it.

Poor Grandma. She looks after the baby so you can work and this is how grateful you are. It was a Weetabix for Gods sake- get over it!

Whatever happened to 'it takes a village to raise a child'? other people who love and cherish a child? That other people have wisdom on offer?

I do understand that if something definite is decreed it should perhaps be respected, but why be so untrusting of the common sense of a woman who successfully raised the man you fell in love with?

This grandma hasn't given chocolate...if she is responsible enough to care for your child in your absence, give her a little leeway.

We are so determined, these days, to programme everything in our children's lives, rather than letting them experience life as it crops up.

A Weetabix? Was that the problem? A Weetabix? And things might escalate and beoome something really serious? Like what? Shreddies?

I would give almost anything to have grandparents taking care of my children. I wouldn't egen complain about two Weetabixes.

i think it comes down to cash

if grandma is babysitting for love then you/we all need to cut them some slack

if it is a job, then firmer guidelines are more acceptable

if you dont like the childcare, employ a professional