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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For getting cross with other medling mother......

38 replies

FeelingMoreHuman · 01/05/2007 09:29

Little rant....was at my postnatal coffee yesterday and one of the other mothers actually went into my dd's pram to get a blanket and put it over my dd while I was feeding her, as the mother thought she felt cold! IT'S MY DAUGHTER, am I being unreasonable for being angry that she stuck her nose in??? How could I have defending myself without causing offence? Hate confrontation but don't want to seem like I'm a complete walkover!

OP posts:
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mishw · 01/05/2007 22:16

depends on who it was. We all know there are women out there who will do things to either make themselves look good or you look bad, however she could have just been caring and take it at face value - only you know as only you know her, IYSWIM

LowFatMilkshake · 01/05/2007 22:11

I would actually have said - yeah I know DD is a little cold but she feeds better. being warm makes her drowsy!

yes she was being kind

But you are NBU because it's your child and her actions as mentioned by littlelapin make you feel your ability to be a parent has been bought in to question.

I would be feeling just like you!

hatrick · 01/05/2007 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ipanemagirl · 01/05/2007 22:07

Feelingmorehuman, I think this sort of action is symbolic of what women put up with from pregnancy in terms of others' intrusion.
I mean the people that want to touch a preg tummy! Oh Make It Stop!
People are just tactless and don't know how to respect other people. This woman was probably being thoughtful as you had your hands full and thoughtless all at the same time! Whaddyagonnado?
Is she a no-nothing in other ways?
But it's a sensitive time, I used to be driven mad with oversensitivity when ds was tiny.

helenhismadwife · 01/05/2007 21:59

maybe I am a bit thick but I wouldnt have seen it as a slur against my parenting I would have thought it was a nice thing to do

OrmIrian · 01/05/2007 11:40

I wouldn't take offence. A bit patronising maybe but without doubt meant kindly (unless you're going to tell us she's a total cow in other ways of course). She saw you were busy and just though she'd help out. Unwanted help maybe, but with the right intentions,

newgirl · 01/05/2007 11:29

i think she did it to be helpful because you were busy

i think when my mates are feeding i end up like a clucky hen - do you want water etc etc - i wonder if she felt like that? anyway, id really let any bad thoughts go on this one!

Surfermum · 01/05/2007 10:08

But it sounds like FMH told her that her dd was fine and she didn't need the blanket, and she still got it.

Being helpful is when someone does something that you want help with. FMH didn't need a blanket and didn't ask for one.

nailpolish · 01/05/2007 10:06

d'you what?

sometimes i have the urge to tuck babies under cosy blankets, etc

but im a clucky old broody hen though

pucca · 01/05/2007 10:05

Seems quite the same in my eyes, well i suppose what i am saying is i think of both situations as just being kind, and trying to help.

kslatts · 01/05/2007 10:04

I think you are being unreasonable, if this is a friend of yours she was probably trying to be helpful.

franca70 · 01/05/2007 10:04

Lol Pucca.

FiveFingeredFiend · 01/05/2007 10:04

no Pucca the OP

Surfermum · 01/05/2007 10:03

I think that's different Pucca.

pucca · 01/05/2007 10:03

FFF...Who me? yes i know, i admit it

FiveFingeredFiend · 01/05/2007 10:02

You are a slight nut

pucca · 01/05/2007 10:02

No one else stepped up to help this woman, so i did, now i am thinknig god what if she didn't want my help!? was i interfering, i think we worry about little things too much now a days.

pucca · 01/05/2007 10:01

Maybe she thought she was helping, maybe she was trying to be friendly who knows.

For example, yesterday at dd's nursery, there was a mum about to try and get her pram up 5 steps so i ran up to her and helped her, i would be quite confused and hurt if she thought i was interfering.

Surfermum · 01/05/2007 09:59

I would. Maybe I'm not as chilled as I think . I would take it that she was saying I wasn't making sure my own dd was warm enough. If I'd thought she needed a blanket I would have asked for one, but just to do it without asking first I think is interfering. I wouldn't say anything though, I'd just seethe.

Original poster
FeelingMoreHuman · 01/05/2007 09:58

Well this is why I was so upset, because I did try to politely explain that she was fine. And frankly my dd would be the first one to let me know if she wasn't comfortable!!!

OP posts:
franca70 · 01/05/2007 09:58

I think you might be reading too much in this. Maybe it's was just instinctive, I'm sure she doesn't think she is in anyway better

littlelapin · 01/05/2007 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pucca · 01/05/2007 09:56

Tbh there are more important things to worry about than over analysing (sp?) this

franca70 · 01/05/2007 09:56

joins pucca in the wierdiness (does this word exist?)

Original poster
FeelingMoreHuman · 01/05/2007 09:55

Maybe I am being oversensitive . I'm just not a confrontational person so I would never dream of forcing my opinion onto anyone else, so it just took me by complete surprise that she was so forceful in making it clear that she thought I was putting my baby in harms way by not having a blanket on her....did I mention it was 23 degrees celcius, dd was wearing trousers and a tshirt...and frankly could've been okay in just shorts and a tshirt!!! Am on decaff, but maybe should switch to plain water

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