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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh probably, but I need to have a whinge (warning, I'm very grumpy today)

35 replies

Miaou · 29/04/2007 11:18

This morning I invited one of dd2's friends to come over and play today. Dd2 has been to her house probably half a dozen times but we've never invited her back (not to do with her, more to do with me and our family setup!). Anyhow, invite well and truly overdue.

Grrr. She has only been here half an hour and I'm already really irritated. I have already had to tell her that making mud pies is not allowed (I've just had the garden sorted out yesterday and I don't want to have to clear up that kind of mess before ds can go out there), between the two of them they have woken ds up twice and now he is crying and won't go back to sleep . I have had to remind them not to go into next door's garden (not as bad as it sounds, it's open between the two and my kids are allowed in there, but the playhouse in there has fallen down so it is dangerous), and for the last 10 minutes all I have heard from dd2 is "nooooo, X, we aren't allowed to ... " so I hate to think what she is doing now.

And yes, I could go out and supervise, but the puppy will howl and ds will cry, and they are 8.5 FGS so surely they shouldn't need me to sit 10 feet away to make sure they behave????

This is going to be a long day ...

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pointydog · 29/04/2007 22:44

ommmmmmm

Original poster
Miaou · 29/04/2007 22:18

lol at dh clearing up, poor guy is really suffering with depression atm, is doing pretty well to get out of bed just now!

Just been across to work to do some planning for next week, and am having an early night now, calm restored

Hopefully I will be back to my tranquil self tomorrow!

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newgirl · 29/04/2007 19:09

is rescue remedy allowed during pregnancy?

i would sit back and think that they are having a fab time showing their creative natures!
and then get dp to clear up!

mamma2kids · 29/04/2007 18:45

Miaou, 3 kids a puppy & pgnt! You are fully entitled to have grumpy moments. Put yor feet up now eh?

NutterlyUts · 29/04/2007 18:45

oo nice sounds like what I want :D

Original poster
Miaou · 29/04/2007 18:41

She's a lab/collie cross - lovely nature, really easy to train (we've had her since January and she is pretty obedient now, just gets a little overexcited when we have visitors!). We knew both the parents well which helped. Needs a lot of walking but great with the kids.

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NutterlyUts · 29/04/2007 18:02

Offtopic What kind of puppy have you got? Am researching breeds for my future dog

Original poster
Miaou · 29/04/2007 17:58

Thanks for the sympathy guys . Am pregnant and hormonal atm, no other reason for getting so worked up! It's not like me, I'm usually fairly relaxed.

Anyway, said child has now gone home and am finally relaxing

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sunnysideup · 29/04/2007 17:24

totally second that post from mamma. That's WHY you go in a garden when you are a child. Relax, let them be kids and enjoy themselves. They don't sound as if they have done anything truly damaging.

You do sound really stressed. however I'm not going to ask why, you have (working it out from your post) at least 3 kids and a puppy. Nuff said.

mamma2kids · 29/04/2007 16:31

Oh poor you, you are having a stressful sunday. I have to agree with the others though. The kids have amused themselves all day, outside in freshair. I have to confess that I gave up on being garden proud when DS was born. Playing with mud, sand, water and footballs is an important part of childhood for those lucky enough to have gardens. I'd just go with the flow if I were you.

Original poster
Miaou · 29/04/2007 16:11

OK - and breathe .....

I need to calm down. Big stylee.

Just been in to the back garden, to find they have turned the climbing frame, complete with its tarpaulin platform, full of water and mud.
After I expressly said, no water or mud in the garden. Anywhere. At all. And after I repeated it, only 20 minutes ago when yet again I found X taking water out of the pond. And after I took dd2 on one side and told her, if X started to do stuff that I wouldn't allow, it was up to her to either say no to her, or to get me to say no - NOT go along with it!!!

I am LIVID. Ds cannot now go in the back garden - it is a mud pit.

I have told them to tidy up then I am taking X home. Ds is distraught because he wants to play outside and doesn't understand why I've brought him in.

PLEASE - help me calm down otherwise I am going to find it very hard to keep my cool when returning said child.

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pointydog · 29/04/2007 13:58

actively encourage teh snailery. Keeps them amused for hours.

Original poster
Miaou · 29/04/2007 12:09

I know, you are all right about the sand, but the sandpit is rather empty and it means I'll have to go get some more from the sand mine sooner rather than later ... (been putting it off!)

LOL Spidey, he'd probably be less impressed with the hour of Tom and Jerry that dd2 and ds watched earlier this morning

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 29/04/2007 12:07

Actually - sand is not half bad for a lawn, so they have probably done you a favour

I'm rather liking the Ben Nevis idea.....

saltire · 29/04/2007 12:02

Well it worth a try. I knew you were "somewhere in that area" but not sure where exactly

Spidermama · 29/04/2007 12:02

Now you see Aric would be proud of you with those girls out doing imaginative play instead of watching telly.

Original poster
Miaou · 29/04/2007 12:01

PSML Saltire, that would be good! (only BN is about 45 miles and a ferry ride away!)

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Original poster
Miaou · 29/04/2007 12:01

LOL at camomile tea! I am having a cuppa as I type.

Agree with you about the ignoring Spidey, twas what I was hoping for - however all seems to have settled down now so am taking the opportunity to knit and read a bit more of Aric Sigman

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saltire · 29/04/2007 12:00

Put them in the car and take them to Ben Nevis, tell them to run up, and then down again and you will wait at the bottom with a clock to see how long it takes

Original poster
Miaou · 29/04/2007 11:58

oooh you are all lovely

Picnic in hand (though I'm making it, now ds is asleep no-one is setting foot in the house )

Ds still sleeping

Puppy sleeping

Kids all playing nicely and quietly together in the garden (I am taking your advice Twig and not looking too closely at what they are doing; I suspect it involves snails and turning them into pets )

They can eat outside - weather is gorgeous here and set to stay like it all day so I shall probably lurk in here out of the way, at least until ds is up!

Feel a bit calmer now, thanks for letting a pg hormonal woman rant, much appreciated

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Spidermama · 29/04/2007 11:58

When my children have friends round to play I see it as an opportunity to completely ignore them for hours. Especially in this weather.

Spidermama · 29/04/2007 11:57

No Twig not coffee fgs! I fully agree with your post but for the coffee bit.

Chamomile tea.

Twiglett · 29/04/2007 11:53

breathe in deeply

Look (takes Miaou in hand) .. its a garden .. they really can't ruin anything in a garden too badly

the sand on the grass will be good for it .. and will work its way into the soil

the tadpoles will survive a bit of sand

try to relax the rules and ignore them .. they need a little freedom ..

give them a picnic .. or give them the job of making a picnic (picnic blanket outside and all ingredients) and make yourself a coffee

pointydog · 29/04/2007 11:49

Obviously stressful for you, sympathies.

First time is always the worst, though, as everything is so new for this girl and she'll be over excited about trying everything out.

Also, some parents do see gardens as being just for the kids. I know children who are allowed to dig, fill cans with water, go in mud barefoot etc etc. So it can be hard for some childrne to adjust to a graden of rules.

Doesn't make it any easier for you.

Might be worth getting them together, you going through any definite 'don't' rules and then maybe steer them.

Good luck!

Original poster
Miaou · 29/04/2007 11:45

Yes you are right Spidermama. I was pleased to hear dd2 asking X not to do something earlier, particularly as she is fairly easily led! I meant to have a quick chat with her just before X arrived but she came sooner than I expected.

Ds seems to have gone off again, thank God

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