To not want an older sibling at my dd's birthday party?

Well done Spooky, you did well to get it sorted..

By the way - I don't want to bring DD, I want to stay at home while she goes.... so if you could come and pick her up the day before and bring her home the next after te party that would be great...

Poor kid!! Why can't he take her to the cinema or something whilst the younger one plays? I'd have been bored out of my skull if I'd had to attend a soft play party at the age of 12 and cringing in case my mates heard about it. Children are allowed to do things without their elder or younger siblings being foisted on people as well.

agree with DaisyMoo to watch out on the day. A parent left his 5 year old DS at my DS's party last year and it wasn't until the entertainer got started and the children all sat down that we realised the dad had also left us his 3 year old DD . The boy was one of DS's school friends and we didn't even know the 3 year old sister!!

I would say its only for little ones, so she can't come! I have done this before. Fortunately the parents have been good about it though.

Blimey, dad is being unreasonable IMO, why on earth would a 12 yo want to go to a 3yo's party? And why on earth should the parent of the 3yo invite a 12yo?

Agree he probably wants some free childcare. Cheeky sod.

Watch out on the day that he doesn't do a runner and leave the 12 year old behind anyway!

Tell him to Heif Off Spooky..

Completely out of order... bet he just wants to stay at home and watch the footie... um thinking about it, can DD come along?...

shes 12!! she is not going to enjoy soft play unless it is one of those huge ones which has the vertical slides and whatnot.

My ds2 is nearly 12. There's NO WAY he'd be remotely interested in being at a soft play party for 5 year olds. My dd is 8, and apart from last year when she had a cookery party, he and ds1 don't even go to her parties either ! I also have a 3yo who hasn't had a party yet; when he's 4 Idon't think any of his siblings would want to be AT his party as such (though they may be roped in to "help" )

Very strange all round...

Just say no, that it wouldn't be appropriate as she is so much older than the little ones, and the whole party is being designed to suit their needs, not of a near teenager. Offer to supervise the younger one whilst he leaves with older one maybe? Or suggest someone who might be abe to bring the younger child.

Also check out the upper age limit of soft play. Many say age 10/12 are the upper limis.

Just wanted to add to my earlier post that I think the dad is being totally unreasonable. What I don't get is that presumably, if there was no party he would have both girls anyway so why cannot he take advantage of the fact that if the younger one is at the party he can do something more grown up with the 12 year old and surely he doesn't have to do much with a 12 year old anyway. Is the 12 year old going to make some sort of fuss that the younger one is going to a party and she isn't? What possible interest could a 12 year old have in a 5 year old's party?

I would tell him that you have booked the party already and numbers are already confirmed and paid for. I would explain its little children's party, not for older one. If that dont work, tell him to sod off, your not his babysitter!
L

Sounds like even the dad thinks the 12year old is a pita and wants rid for an hour or two.

Scour the terms and conditions of the soft play place - is there anything in there that could be construed to exclude the 12year old?

No wonder poor 12year old is less than darling when her father "insists" on her attending party to which she is not invited.

I think a firm "No" is the only way to go, unfortunately.

I've just booked a soft play place for dd's birthday party, and the upper age limit is 12 - I think that's pretty standard. So the chances are that she wouldn't be able to join in with the play or the food anyway.

Just say she can't come - it's then up to him whether the younger child attends or not.

The last time we booked a similar party for our dd she wanted to invite all her cousins, one of whom was 11 and we were told by the centre that soft play was for up to 9 years old. The reason was mainly one of health&safety - some of the equipment not suitable and also a large child poses a danger to all the little tots on e.g.the bouncy castle. I'll bet your place has a similar rule so you can tell the dad she can't come.

God no - had it done twice to me where a mum dropped her daughter same age as DD off and also her younger daughter who was not invited and luckily was as good as gold and had extra party bags organised - but a 12 year old????

Just say sorry but space is limited and you can't see that it would interest a 12 year old.

Message withdrawn

I wouldn't hesitate to be very firm with a parent like this who seems thick skinned enough to INSIST that his 12 yo come to a little ones' party she's not invited to. I could just about understand it (though would never be so forceful myself in making such a request) if she was very close in age to her sibling who was invited. But 12??

no way, a 12yr old , particularly one you dislike and won't be helpful, doesn't fit into your plans at all. Tell him numbers are limited so no ! Surely she wouldn't enjoy soft play anyway at that age.

that's off especially when you are presumably having to pay per head for each attending child

Why not say sorry this time but arrange an after school playdate for older daughter another (yeah right, 12th of never) day.

FWIW I just know gawky unpleasant older sister of ds1's mate will tag along to ds1's birthday party tomorrow and pretend to be a little kid and do a comedic whine when she doesn't get a lolly bag on departure, at least she did last year

hope you can get it sorted

He sounds like a lovely parent!