To not want to go to London?

God, tribpot, I wish I could do that in Canada, myself. I'd just settle down in Montreal (where I want to be) and let everyone else yomp to me. I don't think it would be a very big hit, though, and lots of people have jobs etc, so I tend to do a two-stage or three-stage trip these days.

DH works in London, I used to and neither of us has ever been bothered by terrorist threats, either now or during the IRA period. DH was in a station when it was bombed by the IRA. But we have had relatives say they'd rather not go to London with us because they are afraid. We don't share their fear but don't feel offended by it. I would certainly not interpret it as 'good enough for you but not for me'. If they have a genuine fear, I respect it.

I just put it forward as a suggestion to try to help you find a tactful way of turning down your SIL's invitation. I didn't know you were an ex-London worker so obviously not an appropriate excuse to use for you.

My bro and SIL live in China and when they come to visit the UK they have a firm rule: they book somewhere big enough for people to go and stay with them, and then they stay put, they do not go chasing around the country trying to catch up with everyone. If your SIL won't travel, she can't be very bothered about seeing you, can she? Why hire a lovely narrow boat and then go chasing around London?

Incidentally, if you think travelling in London with a child is bad, try travelling in London with a wheelchair user. And a child The friend who came with us to help (and we literally couldn't have done it the three of us on our own) said to me at the end of the day "how the HELL do you cope with this every day?". Obviously we don't go on the Tube every day in Leeds!

ds loves London - it's such a treat on the rare occasions dh takes him in (I hate the place). However, I can really sympathise with you feeling it's hard work - I forgot how noisy & dirty it can be until I tried taking him in as a 10 week old!

I personally don't feel that the terrorist threat is significant. It doesn't stop me going to London. I just wondered if it could be used as a tactful excuse.

It's true that when you visit your old country, you have to work around people who are already there. When I go to Canada, I travel around quite a bit to see friends and family - I don't really expect them to come to me, iyswim.

(The terrorist threat is pretty insignificant, btw. You are much much more likely to get run over by a car, anywhere in London, than blown up.)

i love going in to london as does my dd age 4 - it all depends on where you go and what journey you make

however, in this case, it sounds like too far and too tiring. but my advice would be let your dh/dp deal with this - its his sister. he could say that youd all love to see her but the travelling is too much.

from her point of view though, i get pretty hacked off when my friend comes for a visit from the us - we are all booked in and are expected to fit in with her plans. I know why she does it, but it was her choice to move there. we do have lives too. Just trying to add another perspective!

Why not tell her that you're reluctant to go into London because of the terrorist threat? I know mums who won't take their kids on tubes anymore, especially when you remember that one of the bombers in the failed attempt deliberately sat next to a mum with a baby.

Taking kids into London is hellish in my experience. Totally stressful, dirty, exhausting. I only go into London when I absolutely can't avoid it.

I rarely take my dd into London and I live quite close . Mind she doens't like the tubes, DLR is ok so that's another consideration. I was the same at her age, we rarely went into London for outings.

Tbh I'd rather pack her into the car and go into the countryside or the beach. The advantage of London is that a lot of children's activities are free - provided that you know where to look. On a long-haul holiday, that's not really what you want to be doing.

we went on a trip to london (10 hours with lots of stops playing at NT places etc) and this is the first time that many of my family have seen all my children in the flesh so to speak. not for want of me inviting. over the past 7 years (and three children), my parents have only come down 3 times!!

they say they are too busy... read retired and two second-homes.

honestly, some people just don't realise.

we did the science and natural history museum, and that made it worth it!

well if she said she didn't want to travel then no, YANBU. She is. Explain to her that this is your holiday and you have seen London and that travelling with your DC will be inconvenient. She is more than welcome to join you, otherwise you will have to meet up next time you are both in the same country.

well in that case it's different. You have done enough travelling and you might want to relax a bit.
maybe your sister wants you to see where she stays etc

Maybe she wants to show you her home and where her life is whilst you are over? I'd go if you can. If you are only here on hols you probably don't come over all that regularly as it is such a long way - she may wish to show you her life here and have you know where she lives, works, plays etc.

Have you tried inviting her to join you, and expressing your concerns about how tired you and the kids will all be? What reasons does she have for expecting you to come to her?

Not unreasonable at all. It sounds a nightmare.

My friend keeps hinting that she wants us to visit her for a change. She has no children and a part time job. She lives on the south coast and I am in the East Midlands. I have a DS 7months and don't drive so would have to catch a minimum of 3 trains not including the cross London transfer, with all DS stuff and DS. And I have to express 4 times a day, which I don't think British Rail accommodates. It ain't happening, but she can't see why. Pah!

I would go as I love London, we live quite close and often go at weekends, but even if I had a longer journey I would travel.

But you are not being unreasonable not wanting to go.

You don't say why you are invited to go - what's the occasion?

I know it's tiring but if it is for a specific reason then perhaps you should consider going. Or else arrange for babysitting and go yourself without the kids?

I would! but then again I'd rather be out an about than be stuck at home.