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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to object when my father comes to my house and calls me an underacheiver

64 replies

colditz · 26/04/2007 20:49

then leaves after refusing to listen to me telling him why I think that's an unfair thing to say saying "I can see your upset and I don't want confrontation with you"

WELL I FUCKING DO.

OP posts:
Original poster
colditz · 26/04/2007 20:59

He always tells me I do really well 'considering'

Then when I object he accuses me of trying to start and argument. I am so upset and frustrated and angry I think my eyeballs are going to pop out

OP posts:
hertsnessex · 26/04/2007 20:58

WTF? You poor thing. thinknig of you.

cx

princesscc · 26/04/2007 20:58

God, that is just a really shitty, shitty thing to say to anyone, let alone your flesh and blood. Why would he think that? Is he comparing you to any siblings?

staceym11 · 26/04/2007 20:57

colditz you have nothing to be upset about (except the insensitiveness of it) you cannot change the past but you are making a positive life for yourself now.

i was pg at 17 and my dad had high hopes for me but its different now, i have 2 children and im making the best of what iv got. how unkind of him not to see that in you!

TheWoman · 26/04/2007 20:57

you are not a mess, colditz.
you are a fab mother.

Original poster
colditz · 26/04/2007 20:56

He doesn't say it in anger, he says it in disbelief - like he cannot see how it happened. He thinks he put all the right ingredients in, the base materials were good, he was expecting gateau and what he got was burnt fairy cakes and he doesn't understand why.

OP posts:
staceym11 · 26/04/2007 20:55

oh colditz, how insensitive and unkind!

yanbu and i can completely understand.

MrsApron · 26/04/2007 20:55

he is a cunt Colditz.

Original poster
colditz · 26/04/2007 20:54

I'm angry with him for saying it and angry wityh myself for reacting. He always says stuff like this, and yes, it's true, I could have done better at school, but school was 10 FUCKING YEARS AGO, and he needs to get off my case about something a 16 year old girl did. I have no control over that girl now, even if I did then. He helped create the mess I am, the least he could do is have the grace not to critisize it.

OP posts:
dmo · 26/04/2007 20:53

why does he think that?

TheWoman · 26/04/2007 20:53

he's being unreasonable and unkind.

lulumama · 26/04/2007 20:53

and you have underachieved how? by making a go of your life, and being the only mature adult in the lives of your DCs?? what precisely did he aim to achieve?

Original poster
colditz · 26/04/2007 20:52

And

I was perfectly happy and he has left me in floods of fucking tears, and there is nobody here at all as he well knows, so I am sat bawling my head of to my fucking self.

Yes, fine, he is entitled to his opinions but he is NOT entitled to make someone cry and then run off.

OP posts:
lulumama · 26/04/2007 20:51

yanbu