To be annoyed when people tell me I am "lucky" that my children are well behaved?

gameboy buit some of these kdisa re 2
and we all knwo abotu 2 year olds

Gameboy why cant I word it like you!!!!

Totally!

I ummed and aah-ed about whether to post on this thread, but decided I have to, as I feel so strongly about some of the attitudes and beliefs coming through some of these posts.

Are children completely 'moulded' by their parents - no, of course not, but parental (or guardian) 'socialisation', boundary-setting and discipline are some of, if not THE most important determinants of a child's future role and behaviour in society. Countless studies and pieces research show this. It is why governments continue to try to strengthen and support families.

I simply can't believe it when I hear parents abdicating responsibility with statements about strong-willed children etc. Of course some children will be more difficult than others and nobody's children will be well-behaved 100% of the time, but it is your duty and role as a parent to lead by example, guide and discipline appropriately.

This reminds me so much of the debate about the mother of the 15-stone obese schoolboy who said, "I can't get him to eat healthy food" and yet all she ever bought was junk food!

It really saddens me to see the way this attitude is pervasive in the UK these days. We are bringing up a generation of undisciplined yobs with no sense of social responsibility, because their own parents simply refuse to recognise and accept their own duty and role as a parent.

I work hard with my three to turn them into decent people. 2 are definately less of a challenge than the third. Although a lot of hard work goes into all of them there is an element of luck just because my style clicks with the temperament of 2 of them. I could be 'unlucky' and have 3 challenging ones.

I went through years of a 'friend' of a perfect child telling me what I was doing wrong with my three. I hate to be mean (but what the hell), her DD2 is a nightmare. She's suddenly gone quiet with the parenting tips. Perhaps she's realised that some children are harder to mould than others and the techniques that work with one child don't always work on another.

Sometimes it is down to luck when children behave. Or how many 'death and destruction' threats they get beforehand .

I was always taught good manners etc, I teach my dd's good manners as I hope they will in turn with their children. We all try our best with our children, some are better than others! I have a 3 year old dd who is a brilliant daughter out when you get her home she's a right little madam. My 14 month old has right temper. I'm not a smug mummy at all. Today I have a splitting headache & a sore throat from shouting so much. Its those times when they do these little things which you smile.

Hill's your dd's sound wonderful, this isn't a personal attack, it's an open discussion forum.

Hillls everyone is proud of their kids.

But we don't have to express it in terms of "there's no excuse for anyone else's not to be like mine."

Anyway, sorry if you think I'm hounding you.

You are lucky! Stop feeling annoyed and feel glad to be so lucky! And that your parenting skills have paid off.

Children are all different. And then there are those with SN... Sometimes no amount of good parenting skills will help. Think yourself lucky and moan a little less.

DH and I are two mature experienced parents who have successfully parented several children between us who have turned out just fine (so far).. and now we have a DS of 6 who bites chunks out of us as often as he can. I don't think it's because we suddenly lost all our parenting skills!

I'm not smug! I'm proud of my dd's for being independant little individuals. Just like you would be.

but honest

Sorry Hillls but if you come out with the sort of statement I quoted from you, you really have got to be prepared for extreme reactions from people you offend. OK my language may have been a bit OTT, but did you take on board the substance of my post and understand why your comment may have been really, really irritating?

I haven't read the whole thread but anyway, some of it is down to 'luck' isn't it? Of course good parenting is part of it, but I've got 3 completely different children - all parented the same - so sometimes it is just down to the individual child.

All of mine slept through from being very young babies - we've never, ever had sleep issues. People always say I'm luck for that too. Maybe I am. Who bloody cares anyway?

Cali you are being norty....

I have got only one for now so I can't say too much. Still I KNOW I am very lucky! Don't get me wrong I also put in the work, I am strict at times, manners in restaurants and all the rest but TBH DD is and always was an absolute angel and so easy, for me, to deal with.
she never cried, not even as a new born, she was easily pleased, she enjoys praise and so does what she's told etc, never has had a tantrum yet, goes to bed relatively all right etc

Like I said I know I am lucky and although I have been very good at parenting her (who wouldn't) I don't know how I'd be with a more difficult child as I am not very patient and lose it if someone is unreasonable (dd naver has been yet.)

Do not think i am smug because i live in fear: of my next one and of dd changing (she's only 20m maybe is all to come)!

HILLLS I have examined my language and agree there is no need to be vile.

But I enjoyed it.

I thought there was no need for you to be smug

Hills, truly sorry you feel picked on, but shocked at that, I thought we were having a debate. Didn't realuise it had got nasty and personal against you, truly I didn't, i really thought we were chatting and had different views. I can't see how anyone is being vulture like but sirry you are so upset.

oh my god, this thread is getting out of hand isn't it!

There's noting wrong with disagreeing but there is alot wrong with how people rip you up for doing so.

Oh dear here we go !!!!!!!!!!

YABU. You dont realise how lucky you are

I can say that as a parent of one very well-mannered, polite respectful child, and also the parent to one very ill-mannered, oblivious-to-social-graces, shoves-fistfuls-of-food-into-his-mouth-with-gay-abandon child.

Why is it horrible to disagree on a discussion forum?

You lot are a horrible I posted a polite comment to get all you lot pouncing on me and ripping me to shreds, Whats the problem with being proud of your child? Yes I put in hard work teaching my dd's right from wrong, I dont form them into something I want them to be, I want them to be what ever they want to be.

CALIGULA no need to be so vial in your language to me! As I said all children will be children! If you and your child are happy then great.

I really dont need you all picking at me like bloody vultures.

ROFL Aloha !