Or is a birthday list at John Lewis the done thing for a 6 yr old ?

GrumpyOldHorsewoman - funnily enough, he's a lovely kid and he asked me about a year ago if he could come to live with me because 'Everyone always shouts in my house'

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Words fail me.

Yes, fortyplus, but your children will grow up to be the better adjusted (and probably happier)

Stigaloid - he's probably got thousands knowing them... They paid him £50 for each level 5 he got in his ks2 SATs.

Mine got 'Oh - did you? Well done, darling!'

Yes - best parties my 2 have had involve pitching tents in the garden and having an outdoor sleepover.

The go-karting was great fun though - they could do 40mph!

£400 for a pair of ear-rings!!! I wouldn't even allow my husband to spend that much money on ear-rings for me!

Wow!

Am mightily impressed that he has managed to save up £400 at his age.

speedymama - my nephew (12) was looking at ear rings to buy his girlfriend. He saw some he liked for £10, but then found some he preferred for...

£400.

He was quite prepared to take the money out of his account and buy them.

My brother & his wife are quite materialistic - everything has to be the right brand.

They clearly haven't managed to give him any idea of the value of money.

"These days too many kids know the cost of everything and the value of nothing. It's madness. Buying into corporate, mass produced, birthday parties is wrong, wrong, wrong imvho."

I agree- the most fun parties of my childhood were the ones where i helped my grandma bake my cake and we ran around the garden or played sleeping lions.

Fortyplus - i agree - she probably could have worded it differently rather than make an assumption that everyone would be happy with the idea.

However, that being said, i have never been to a party without giving a present, so i'd probably make the same mistake as her in assuming that most people provide presents to the birthday child. Even if it is something small and simple like a yo-yo or a Mr Men book.

These days too many kids know the cost of everything and the value of nothing. It's madness. Buying into corporate, mass produced, birthday parties is wrong, wrong, wrong imvho.

Just charge them entry, refundable when the gift has been valued and sold on Ebay .

Profits to Mummy's purse

MadamePlatypus - actually... how about taking it one stage further... tell everyone the cost per child of the party and tell them they can't come unless they bring a present of equal value!

I say it sometimes, too!

ooh I say toilet - it really annoys my mum

fortyplus - I agree, and I think that there is a great case FOR presents when parents take the time to help a child choose a special present for a friend or relative. It's great learning opportunity to think of others, know their personality and do something to surprise and please them.

A birthday party is a fun get together - the presents are secondary. It is not an opportunity to fundraise for your child's toys.

I suppose it would be easier in some ways to by a present on line - Estimated cost for your child to attend birthday party less amount spent on said child at your child's last birthday plus the value of the present that they bought - that would do it.

That was pretty much my reaction after I'd promised him he could have it and I'd found out the price!

Most I've ever paid was £29 per child for a go-karting party. But I'm usually more tight than that

Yes - I suppose I would always put some thought into a present and get my boys to help choose what they think their friend would like, but they have had some crap over the years! I think 6 would be too young for the 'charity donation' concept.

£17 a child .

My dd had a sports party last year with 20-odd kids there. I'm sure the whole thing including food (we catered it) and hiring the hall plus sports tutor didn't cost that much.

3Cats, that's exactly what DD1 did. She knows how lucky she is, and gets loads of presents from family so decided that the NSPCC would benefit more from her birthday party 'gifts' than she would. She never felt hard done by or saintly. And the collection box was entirely optional and anonymous (we made sure to put that on the invitations). I admit, she was 11 and it might be a bit hard to get a 6 year old to understand the principle of helping others less fortunate than yourself when it is your special day, but I still think a list or a 'present account' is an outrageous idea for a child. Sure, they all do a christmas list, but that's just for family and I make as much effort to ensure that they don't get everything they ask for because I feel it conveys an idea of 'ask and you will receive which sets a precedent for life. However, I am also with Anna8888 on that notion that to give any old crap is OK. A gift should have some thought go into it and be appropriate for the child. A crap present can be cheap or expensive, likewise a good one. You don't have to spend much (or in some cases, anything) to give a good present, so long as it matches the recipient.