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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be upset that my children haven't been to invited to a birthday party

86 replies

happybiggirl · 20/04/2007 18:13

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FluffyMummy123 · 21/04/2007 18:31

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FluffyMummy123 · 21/04/2007 18:31

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DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 21/04/2007 18:31

what's your standing on the whole class or only one or two invited thing Cod? I only want to invite about 10 to dd's party. Apparently I may be committing social suicide?!

FluffyMummy123 · 21/04/2007 18:29

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mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 18:25

cat64 - i have to disagree that it's unreasonable to be upset that your child doesn't get invited to parties.

it is hurtful and upsetting as a parent. it's not unreasonable to feel that.

cat64 · 21/04/2007 18:23

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happybiggirl · 21/04/2007 18:17

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mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 18:16

he's nearly 8, Happy.

rabbleraiser · 21/04/2007 17:57

It's a tough one, because from a kid's perspective it can be a really big, really remembered (for ever) type of exclusion. I clearly remember being nine and not being invited to a girl's birthday party, even though I'd expected to be and had even gone out and bought her a present from my own pocket money.
And it's funny, because I don't remember that much from my childhood, but this seemed to stick.

For what it's worth, she seems rude at best. You're better than her, so rise, rise, rise above it.

happybiggirl · 21/04/2007 17:52

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mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 17:50

my eldest has never been invited to anyones party and i hate it. i feel so rejected on his behalf, so i know how you feel. it's not nice.

Troutpout · 21/04/2007 17:26

i don't matter.. it's just a party

and she smells of poo anyway...and your kids didn't really want to go anyway did they

wheresthehamster · 21/04/2007 17:22

If the children are of school age then they are old enough to decide who they want and don't want at their own party. Before that it's the host who determines who's coming - usually based on whether she likes the mum or not!

It's a shame when you have to invite children because you feel you have to. E.g. because yours have been invited to theirs or because you don't want to upset the mother or you can't invite one girl and not her close friend.

hayes · 21/04/2007 17:10

By the time we invite family and close friends there is sometimes only room for a couple of friends. I sure has hell didn't invite the whole class to my dd party (there are a good few who are nightmares) and she doesn't get invited to everyone in the class party. It doesn't bother me to be honest altho you do say they were invited to 3 of yours so it does seem a bit tactless not to reciprocate the invite.

At the end of the day its a kids party, don't get upset by it!

kslatts · 21/04/2007 17:01

Unreasonable if the party is only for a few friends. DD had a party and invited the whole class, but I didn't expect everyone in the class to invite her to theirs.

OrmIrian · 20/04/2007 20:11

Thankyou I expect it will be utter hell . Looking after 5 little girls who are all loud and shrill and totally unafraid of anything, 2 of whom (I've just discovered hate each other) and my DSs the eldest of whom 'doesn't like girls'........

So I shalll just smile and grit my teeth....

pointydog · 20/04/2007 20:09

try and let it wash over you. This happens to pretty much everyone and it really is a pointless thing to dwell on.

happybiggirl · 20/04/2007 20:08

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OrmIrian · 20/04/2007 20:07

TBH it's a problem I've been worried about. My DD is having a party tomorrow -we're taking 4 girls from her class for a BBQ in a remote spot with a stream and woods etc. It's what she wanted. To hire a minibus would have cost too much and with the 5 of us we could only invite 4 guests. And there are some who invited DD who weren't invited to her - but it can't be helped. I do feel bad but I can't see a way round it TBH

happybiggirl · 20/04/2007 20:03

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FioFio · 20/04/2007 19:42

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Idreamofdaleks · 20/04/2007 18:53

It is a big mistake to expect reciprocal invitations to kids parties and what does it really matter anyway

hana · 20/04/2007 18:51

suppose not a sad thing then, that they are moving?!

happybiggirl · 20/04/2007 18:50

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hana · 20/04/2007 18:38

we don't always reciprocate invites....smallish party at home, you just cant.