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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset that my children haven't been to invited to a birthday party

86 replies

happybiggirl · 20/04/2007 18:13

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OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 22:58

you mean sn/mainstream? he's supported in mainstream.

it's not stupid cod. bugger off before i batter you.

heehee battered cod.

FluffyMummy123 · 21/04/2007 22:54

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expatinscotland · 21/04/2007 22:54

that's rude.

when we had parties as a child, it was invite the entire class or no one at all.

my dad's rule.

family came another time/day.

never had a class party before primary school, though.

just family ones.

Chocolateface · 21/04/2007 22:51

Then they're just bloody rude. What type of school does your Ds go to?

mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 22:51

i handed them out.

Chocolateface · 21/04/2007 22:46

Did they get the invitations?

mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 22:44

i threw one for my eldest. i invited his whole class.

a couple said sorry, they couldn't make it. no word from the rest, so i assumed they were coming.

i made LOTS of food, party bags etc, a HUGE cake...

1 boy showed up.

ONE.

i cried for ages. in fact, i think i'll start again now.

i have never organised one since. i am afraid to go through that again. it hurt so much.

FairyMum · 21/04/2007 22:20

I think it depends on the size of the party. If its a big party and your child is not invited despite having invited the b-day child, then it is...puzzling and I would be annoyed. If its a tiny party where numbers are limited I would not get upset.

My2pworth, have your sons had bday parties?

cat64 · 21/04/2007 22:15

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
happybiggirl · 21/04/2007 22:03

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OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 22:02

oh, i understand what you mean, i just stress the difference between the logic of a situation and the feeling.

is it unreasonable to expect your child to be invited / have a go at the parent if your child isn't invited / not invite child in retaliation - yes

is it unreasonable to feel upset (on behalf of your child) - no

your feelings are your feelings, they aren't unreasonable. your actions - now that's where you get into reasonable or not.

i don't know about other mums, but i feel very emotional about my boys, and very protective of them and i feel rejected on their behalf. would i make demands on other parents - no.

do you get me?

so my opinion on the op question is still no, she isn't unreasonable to feel upset. she would be unreasonable to go up to the mum and demand her child be invited, but that's not what she asked.

cat64 · 21/04/2007 21:54

This reply has been deleted

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mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 18:57

i'm in derbyshire Happy. but if you are willing to invite my eldest to a party

I'll come to Wales!!!!!!!

Original poster
happybiggirl · 21/04/2007 18:56

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OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 18:54

bingo Dances! check me out Happy! i have moaned about it before on here.

i dont know how aware he is about being left out all the time but the other week, ds2 was going to a party - this gets me, ds2 gets invited to loads, and he's autistic too, but not as challenging -

anyway, the party. ds1 was so excited. he passed ds2 the party outfit and straighted his hat and smiled and laughed and handed ds2 the wrapped gift and said "give to X".

watching that was more upsetting than if he had gone off on one.

and as soon as ds2 got back, ds1 took the outfit off him and wore it himself.

i cried for ages.

i go on about this so much on here. please stop allowing me to hijack them! im sorry happy, i cant seem to stop myself.

FluffyMummy123 · 21/04/2007 18:46

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DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 21/04/2007 18:46

I think mtpw profile prob. explains why.

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 21/04/2007 18:45

Sorry to hear that Mtpw. Must be so hard Does it make him sad?

Original poster
happybiggirl · 21/04/2007 18:43

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OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 21/04/2007 18:42

what if your child never gets invited to any parties cod? never has. nobody at all. in 4 years of school? come on, that's worth a maternal tear or two!!!

Original poster
happybiggirl · 21/04/2007 18:41

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OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 21/04/2007 18:36

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DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 21/04/2007 18:36

That is rude IMO. Will be inviting children who have invited dd and any others she wants (up to 10ish!)

peanutbutterkid · 21/04/2007 18:34

Lad who lives NEXT DOOR has been invited to 3 of DS parties.

Boys chat over the fence almost every afternoon. Many playdates (both sides hosting, though I find the other lad a handful), they get into scraps at school sometimes, though -- not least because they play so much together.

NEVER had an invite back to the other boy's parties. Used to bother me, but can't be asked, any more.

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 21/04/2007 18:33

Just want to have it in our garden, not going the whole bouncy castle/entertainer route. Think I will drop invitations through doors not give out at nursery. I don't even know half the children in dd's class so definitely not having a whole class thing.