to be upset that my children haven't been to invited to a birthday party

I don't think that failing to invite the whole class is rude or unkind. There are 34 i DS#s class. Sorry - can't run to that financially! Even food/party bags/prizes for that many would be ruinous assuming we could accomodate the whole lot at home (which we can't).

I think that the problem arises if everyone apart from one or two are invited.

I can't think of a single party amongst my kids classmates when everyone has been invited. And I don't think there have been any major strops over it. And the older they get the fewer guests there tends to be.

mytwopen etc - that is awful - if it makes you feel better, ive had people not turn up to the kids parties too - either not rsvpd or have and then could not make it at the last minute due to illness, tantrums etc. Its rudeness isn't it. Its another good reason to keep these things small or share with another friend - takes the pressure off!

Sorry I'm new to this so don't know all the phrases etc - please bear with me - Parties change from one birthday to the next, as do your childs friends. I seriously offended one mum 2 years ago - had a party at the local leisure centre, hated her kid(pushy mum,thought everyone liked him)wouldn't invite him to DD party - who saw us all going past her into the party area? - said person - did I care? - No
Not everyone likes everyone - accept it and don't be offended.

I only read OP, so apologies if there is more to this thread.

have not read the thread so apologies but...

I have four kids and have laernt alot long the way about all this. My dd twins are very sociable get invited to loads of parties, it drives me nuts, barely a free weekend.
My ds 1 year younger is a much quieter child, goes to a few parties, not many. i used to feel upset for him, until i realised that actually he wasn't bothered, it was just me worried on his behalf.

Try not to let it get to you, it is hard sometimes, but being invited to loads of parties isn't the be all, my ds is a loving wonderful kid who just happens to be quite quiet, he is actually secure in himself and it isn't doing him any harm at all. Last party he went to he hated, he would much rather be watching football!!

I wouldn't take it personally TBH.
My DS gets invited to very few parties because he doesn't mix well, and I do sometimes feel sad for him for this reason, but I wouldn't expect children to invite him to their party just because they came to his.

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I have the same problem as my dd is rarely invited to parties either (the class is getting to the age now where whole class parties are dying out anyway) but I don't make a big thing of it in front of her. I lie in bed and plot terrible things to befall the child who dissed her . Ten to one, I get allocated said child to look after the next time I accompany a school trip .

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Apologies, have not read the whole thread.

DS had every bugger he knew at his 4th birthday party. May, so just before school.

In reception, he had the whole class.

Yr1, he really will need to trim, he does not socialise with the whole class so why invite them ??
He was passed over for a party a few weeks ago, I said oh, you did not get invited to Stan's party how does that feel ??

Was prepared to point out to him, how people move on etc.,..................

He said, that is is fine you can only invite so many Mummy and I like him and he likes me, but he is NOT my friend.

I was so proud of him.

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dd starts school this year and no way would I be inviting the whole class! no, no. her close friends and thats it.

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i'm really for my ds who's 5yrs. He's in a group of 60. split between 2 groups. His b.day was in Oct. He invited 20 of his mates/girlfriends. He has been invited to 2 since. I feel so, so, I don't know how to feel, I think sad. I can remember these days as a child and was always at parties. I would love for my DS to be 'Popular'. It just makes us think, why don't the other kids want to invite out son to their parties, we though he was great friends with x,y,z.

'even really poor peopele?'

Oh, god forbid you invite really poor people!

Wouldn't want Cuthbert associating with the unwashed masses, after all.

They can decline the invite, after all.

Glad my kids don't go to such a school, tbh.

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Battered cod!

Yum.

With chips.

Too bad it's such a rip off these days.

btw i do think it's rude not to reply if you get an invite. I am not very organised but do manage a short phone call!

Stupid?

How is teaching your kids about other peoples' feelings and some manners stupid?

Then how about if you can't fit them in your house you have the party elsewhere?

Sorry, but this pick and chose crap just teaches them pettiness, and the world has enough of that already.

My2pworth I do feel for you.
My dd is nearly 4 so we haven't really got into the whole party thing yet. Last year she had to miss her own party due to chickenpox. This year her best pal has been invited to parties and she hasn't, but she's still too young to know. We can only afford a small party for her anyway, for her and about 5 friends.

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