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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate it that it gets so personal on here sometimes.

113 replies

kks · 18/04/2007 14:55

The majority of people on mn are very nice but i think it gets too personal sometimes when there is a debate going on. I just don't get how some just can't seem to voice opinions constuctivly without knocking someone down because then it seems to catch on and before you know it, some poor sole is getting insults left, right and centre.

I do wonder why mn isn't moderated better. I realise that lots of threads under different topics are started each day, but the ones that get nasty and personal are usually the very long threads that last days so shouldn't be that hard to seek out.

I do wonder though when someone is getting a thrashing in a debate, how that person must be feeling really. Then i wonder about the people who are typing the nasty stuff whether they would say the stuff to a persons face in real life. I doubt it because it's very easy to hide behind a keyboard.

Sorry this is long but the personal thing is the only thing that annoys me about mn.

OP posts:
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batters · 18/04/2007 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu · 18/04/2007 21:38

oooh, even I told Cowmad to f off and I am notoriously 'fair'.

Dinosaur · 18/04/2007 21:33

Icing - love the new name!

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 21:31

Oh, yes, I remember hearing she'd gone for MB . I mean, I'm sad she went for TSAP, too, obviously.

She just was so bile-filled. People post all sorts of random shit, and god knows I'm hardly the cuddliest poster, but cowmad would do a few lines and bile would just drip from the screen.

Marina · 18/04/2007 21:30

Tis blanketspeak M2PW. A mile of pink oddbods for Maude by the sound of things

Marina · 18/04/2007 21:29

She went for MB and Twinsetandpearls. I will freely admit to loathing a ruck and avoiding threads where there is fighting going on, but cowmad was just off the register
Squares, schmares, they'll be fine. We always work our magic

mytwopenceworth · 18/04/2007 21:28

eh? what? is this code?

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 21:27

Oh, I evaluated my mad drunken Irish squares, and found that I have three squares worth of 12cm, so I will knit three squares worth of 18cm, I think. And then stop. I have eight squares already, so that will make 11.

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 21:26

I missed the night she was seen off - what happened?

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 21:26

She really really really was dreadful. I've never taken that sort of dislike to anyone else on here, or on any site before, I don't think. Oh, I lie, when I was on the sort of site with both genders, and people copping off with each other, but that was another world.

Marina · 18/04/2007 21:23

Loads of us were out with flaming torches and axes that night pointy, cowmad really merited it

pointydog · 18/04/2007 21:20

an experienced vigilante in our midst

Marina · 18/04/2007 21:18

Everyone on here found madcow appalling NQC and spent many a happy hour reporting her numerous offensive and bullying posts.

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 21:09

Well, things do work that way, more or less. If someone is being really needlessly horrible, the person they're horrid to will take a dislike to them. As will that person's friends. And probably some innocent bystanders, too. If the same poster is repeatedly horrible to lots of people, they will find MN a less friendly place, over time.

I'm sure I was far from the only person who took a dislike to cowmad. The people being rude to her on MN were by no means limited to people that I formed a pact with ...

Hathor · 18/04/2007 21:03

pointy - yes! A MN Protection League. Like the Cats Protection League (poem by Roger McGough)

The Cats' Protection League

Midnight. A knock at the door.
Open it? Better had.
Three heavy cats, mean and bad.

They offer protection. I ask, 'What for?'
The Boss-cat snarls, 'You know the score.
Listen man and listen good

If you wanna stay in the neighbourhood,
Pay your dues or the toms will call
And wail each night on the backyard wall.

Mangle the flowers, and as for the lawn
a smelly minefield awaits you at dawn.'
These guys meant business without a doubt

Three cans of tuna, I handed them out.
They then disappeared like bats into hell
Those bad, bad cats from the CPL.

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 20:58

I do feel a bit for taking such a dislike to her, normally I forget about fights very quickly, honestly don't hold a grudge against anyone, largely thanks to having a mind like a sieve.

But she really did annoy me, quite a few times.

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 20:57

madcow I think she was? She was vile.

morningpaper · 18/04/2007 20:57

IcingOnTheCake I've not seen you before!
ARE YOU NEW?
Do you like icing cakes?

see how a name change works wonders

mytwopenceworth · 18/04/2007 20:45

nqc - who on earth was that?

NotQuiteCockney · 18/04/2007 20:43

Um, pointydog, I did discuss, at a meet-up, agreeing to follow a specific (rarely appearing) poster from thread to thread, saying 'fuck off x'. She was really really dreadful and offensive.

Said poster isn't here any more, as she finally took her horrible behaviour too far and angered MN towers, thank god.

yellowrose · 18/04/2007 17:37

Nine - that is quite funny though - lol !

NineUnlikelyTales · 18/04/2007 17:31

Someone upset me yesterday and I had a fab time imagining them sitting at their ZX Spectrum 81, smoking fags, drinking cinzano and wearing floral slippers, whilst smelling of cheese. It's one of the great pleasures of MN (for me).

yellowrose · 18/04/2007 17:19

nothing wrong with thrashing someone in an argument, if they are talking unsubstantiated rubbish, then you have the right to argue with them.

what would be the point of a debate where everyone agrees and hugs and kisses ?

i DO agree that you should NEVER get personal, i.e. say they are stupid, or that you visualise that they wear horrid clothes or that their husband is a tit, etc. may be true, but you shouldn't say it, it is just rude !

pointydog · 18/04/2007 17:09

I think there should be a mn vigilante group whose job it is to hunt down thrashers, ne'er-do-wells and smart arses and wreak revenge

that would be fab

Carmenere · 18/04/2007 16:49

Hey IOTC for the record I was very nice to FE and went out of my way to offer her advice which she just ignored.
We did tell her to change her name and come back with a different persona and I hope she has.