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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel uncomfortable about friend planning drinking games for Fri night when pregnant????

32 replies

looneytune · 16/04/2007 09:15

Off to a friend's Friday night for girly night in. Just been chatting on MSN about plans and she's going on about drinking games and seeing if she can keep up etc .

I know some people drink when they are pregnant, I had 1 very small glass off champagne on my wedding anniversary and that what is but I know others who have glass of wine with meals etc. It's not that I'm getting at, it's the amount of strong alcoholic drinks my friend is obviously planning on having. Mentioned cocktails, shots etc.

Now I feel uncomfortable because it's just me and her so if I wasn't going, she wouldn't be drinking so much (well, I can't be sure) at 6 months pregnant! I also feel weird about drinking games with her.

Don't know what to do. She probably does it all anyway but I feel very odd about it. Should I still go? What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
looneytune · 16/04/2007 09:33

I already knew we don't share the same values (doesn't use car seats with kids, swears a lot and lots more) BUT we do get on and she's been through a lot so I don't want to shut her out (don't think she has many friends). I did say on MSN 'oh, you drinking then' and then 'well, make sure you have a lower alc drink' etc but in a casual way for now.

I certainly don't want to preach but she nearly lost the baby a couple of months ago so I worry more and because it's JUST me going, I can't help but feel responsible about her doing drinking games.

I could end up not feeling well enough for drinking much or be on anti-biotics and then if I'm not having much, hopefully she won't.

I'm just not happy about indirectly encouraging it. Shame as I WAS really looking forward to Fri night;.

OP posts:
lulumama · 16/04/2007 09:28

you are not unreasonable, i would feel the same

if she is talking about drinking games, and drinking shots, i would be tempted to have a chat with her, maybe she does not think taht drinking heavily as a one off or after the first trimester is an issue

i had the odd drink when pregnant, after the dfirst trimester, but not to the point of getting drunk

basically,every thing she drinks, will go to the baby too, the placenta will not filter it out ! maybe she doesn't know this?

rebelmum1 · 16/04/2007 09:25

You could of course put your friendship directly on the line and have a word. She could have a dependency.

kslatts · 16/04/2007 09:25

I think it's difficult, I didn't drink alcohol when I was pregnant, but some of my friends did. I wouldn't feel comfortable either playing drinking games with a pregnant friend. Could you suggest something else to do?

rebelmum1 · 16/04/2007 09:24

Oo this is down to your conscience, I went on a hen do with a drinking and smoking pregnant woman, felt really uncomfortable. I don't think you can preach or be self-righteous we all choose our own paths. If I were you I'd distance myself and not encourage it. It's tricky as you might end up questioning your entire friendship if you don't share the same values. The odd glass or two is an entirely different matter.

Original poster
looneytune · 16/04/2007 09:23

I could but she won't have it! She deffo plans on getting drunk.

OP posts:
kittypants · 16/04/2007 09:22

could you buy some non alcohic cocktails or wine to take.

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