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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A Late Night AIBU thread for you all

37 replies

VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/04/2007 22:56

Had a teeny tiny joint birthday party for DD and DS today. DD said she wanted both sets of grandparents, only one of her many uncles and his girlfriend, and some friends of ours and their son. She also had a friend she has just made who lives a few doors away from us come.

We told everyone 2pm.

Friends rang at 2pm to say they wouldnt be there until 3pm because they were having dinner first (although suspect they wanted to watch the footie).

Uncle turned up at 2.45pm because he wanted to watch the first half of the footie.

DP's parents turned up at 3pm (they ALWAYS turn up an hour late so we expected them to be there at 3pm ish. Often we tell them to come an hour earlier before everyone else so that they turn up with everyone else).

My parents turned up a few minutes after 3pm.

Friends finally turned up at 3.40pm.

Friend from a few doors up turned up at 4.30pm and her mum said she could stay for half an hour then we should send her back.

I have been farking livid with ALL of them because of this. How hard is it to turn up on time when they knew there were only limited people coming?

With the exception of DP's parents because they are always late....no cahnge from the norm.

My parents didnt apologise, and said that the reason they were late was because they were trying to get DD and DS's other uncles to get out of bed to come.

So....over to you...

OP posts:
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Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 16/04/2007 20:52

I dont mind the footie so much, if they had rung and said "hey, there is a footie match on, we'll be over after". I'dve known.

Not even a phonecall.....

OP posts:
Hillllllllllary · 16/04/2007 00:23

I would be furious, fancy rating a footie match over children. I mean family comes first surely

NorksBride · 16/04/2007 00:19

'their' friends even.

NorksBride · 16/04/2007 00:18

Roll on school days, then they're friends will turn up on time. I'd be really pissed off too. Sounds like they enjoyed themselves anyway though

At DD2s Christening not a single member of my family was present. My mother was late (traffic dahling - even though other friends had come the same route and arrived on time), my brother was late (no excuse) and my sister's family went to see their 8yo son playing football instead. My late father had such impeccable manners, he'd be appalled.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 16/04/2007 00:16

They did have a great time. They didnt really notice, but, unfortunately I did....

Thank you all.

OP posts:
Londonmamma · 16/04/2007 00:13

If it had been anything other than your DC's party you could have opened the door with a bemused look and said "Oh - it's all finished now, sorry, we're just on our way out..."

jampot · 16/04/2007 00:06

im with you on this one vvqv. Id have been livid. Did they have anice time in the end though.

xenabelly · 15/04/2007 23:48

god i would be furious!! I HATE it when people think sport is more important than a social event.

On easter sunday I spent hours and hours making a gorgeous 3 course meal and my FIL said as we sat down to dinner in dining room, 'i'll just put cricket on in living room so we know what's happening' and then all blokes proceeded to keep getting up from table or looking at tele all through dinner! ARGH!!!

My DH got a good talking to after that and is aware that he shud have taken charge and turned tele off.

VERY VERY rude and you are right to be pissed off!

lol - have wound myself up now thinking of loads of times when sport has affected a social do...breath, breath, calm....

princesscc · 15/04/2007 23:17

I love football, (regular visitor to the better North London team!) but for the love of God, its only a game. Why do men do that?

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/04/2007 23:14

god you say that, but, if spurs lose - whatever the match - my brother is in a fit of depression for a few days. I am not exaggerating.

OP posts:
princesscc · 15/04/2007 23:11

Trouble is, if they've done it once, they'll do it again and it sounds like they have. It outrageous! (and Spurs weren't even playing an important match either!)

hunkermunker · 15/04/2007 23:10

Shit, isn't it, being the sounding board for everyone else's disappointments about celebratory arrangements? I always get the inside story of why someone is pissed off with someone else, or doesn't like some part of what's on offer or whatever - usually when it's my birthday or wedding or something. Other people seem allowed to just get on with enjoying themselves at their own farking events

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/04/2007 23:07

I didnt say anything, because it would have been like opening the proverbial can of worms. Once I start, i cant stop...and they'd have been justified of course

In fact, my mum delighted in telling me just how livid she was with my brothers before she came because they mucked her about. Like I care. She was bringing the sandwiches ffs! Just as well I made plenty of other stuff to eat.

OP posts:
UCM · 15/04/2007 23:07

Having only read your OP, I would be farking mad and I would have been very cold with them and noted it. The next time will be very explicit, with invites, JUST SO THEY KNOW.

harpsichordcarrier · 15/04/2007 23:05

aha, spurs

llareggub · 15/04/2007 23:05

I'm with you on this one

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/04/2007 23:04

LOL! If i still smoked i'd be very tempted right now...

Spurs, bloody spurs.

DC were okay, just a bit bemused as to why we had got various party things out but were off limits.

We decided to just let them start eating and doing what they wanted in the end though. They had a fab time. I was just so annoyed.

And more so when Uncle gave DD her present (her birthday was on Tuesday and he came over on Tuesday), but hadnt given the present because his girlfriend (who is lovely adn very brilliant with my two i should mention) wanted to see her face when she opened them. So she is kept waiting 5 or 6 days, and, I pop inside for 2 minutes 2 tiny minutes and they get the presents out and open them whilst I am not there...

OP posts:
MrsDanvers · 15/04/2007 23:03

They're all very rude and thoughtless, Vicki. Not unreasonable to be angry/fed up at all. Only advice I can suggest is that in future you say parties start at 11am/12am to allow them all to arrive at a reasonable time (ie 1-2pm) so your DC can enjoy the party.

themoon66 · 15/04/2007 23:02

On giving this some thought.... I'd have taken DD out to the park or somewhere at 2.45pm. If anyone asked, I'd say 'well nobody bothered to turn up'.

TwirlyN · 15/04/2007 23:01

So how did DS and DD feel about everyone not bothering?

princesscc · 15/04/2007 23:01

If you said 2pm, then 2pm it should have been. Anytime after 2.30 is frankly out of order. Did you say something to any of them?

harpsichordcarrier · 15/04/2007 23:01

ah that's better

maximummummy · 15/04/2007 23:01

ahh your poor dd she must've been so excited to be having a party. . . was it fun when everyone did turn up?

Carmenere · 15/04/2007 23:01

They are very rude QV, but that's family for you

hatrick · 15/04/2007 23:01

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