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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking dd to a party only ds has been invited to?

41 replies

Pesha · 14/04/2007 13:31

My ds (3.8) has been invited to a party this afternoon by a friend from playschool. He can be quite manic so I wouldn't want to leave him there, for their sake more than anything! I had intended to get someone else to look after my dd who is 6 but completely forgot (baby due on monday so was half expecting to have had it by now and so not be going anyway!).

So I have told dd that she can come but cannot eat party food, wont get a party bag and has to play nicely, not trying to take over or anything and come and sit with me when I tell her to. I wont dress in her party clothes just normal clothes and was thinking Ill spend slightly more on a present than I normally would. Its in a big hall with lots of soft play blocks etc, have held 2 parties there myself for dd, so I know there's no limit on guests or things provided IYSWIM.

I know i wouldnt mind if someone did this to me but I feel ever so cheeky doing it. Am I being unreasonable do you think?

OP posts:
mears · 14/04/2007 13:59

oopsa

mind even!

jampot · 14/04/2007 13:55

Well as I have only 2 children I have never been in that exact predicament. However if the party was at home I would leave the 3.8 year old or possibly leave the older child with her father or of course get father to take the younger child to party. Im sure if all the other parents were staying then you could collar someone to be his "point of contact"

powder28 · 14/04/2007 13:52

I think you are being perfectly reasonable as you have no alternative.
It wouod be unreasonable for the host of the party to object to you taking your 6 yr old.
If it was my party I would make sure that your dd was included and given a party bag etc. She should also be free to help herself to food, but thats just my opinion! Don't know what the host is like....

Tutter · 14/04/2007 13:51

lol at being sure she won't ming

mears · 14/04/2007 13:50

I would say to the mum concerned because although you have told your DD she will not get a party bag etc - the mum won't know that. I am sure she won't ming.

Greenleeves · 14/04/2007 13:49

What would you do then, jampot, if you were heavily pregnant, had no-one to look after the older child and the younger child knew about the party and was looking forward to it?

It's not ideal, obviously, but most people would understand the predicament and not bat an eyelid IMO.

jampot · 14/04/2007 13:48

i would be a bit miffed and I have had this happen to me as regardless of your good intentions its actually very hard not to feed a non invited child nor scramble together a party bag. Plus of course if everyone did it ......

hercules1 · 14/04/2007 13:47

Tbh if I knew you had a 6 year old I would expect you to bring her along and would be a little surprised if you'd gone to the trouble of arranging childcare.

I dont take ds now 11 to parties for my 3 year old dd but that's too much of a difference and he'd be bored stiff.

deepinlaundry · 14/04/2007 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misdee · 14/04/2007 13:43

i would be a bit peeved if you just showed up with your dd, but if you had called ahead first then it would be fine.

IdrisTheDragon · 14/04/2007 13:41

I wouldn't mind. And wouldn't be worried about being asked before either.

princesscc · 14/04/2007 13:39

I think under the circumstances its perfectly acceptable. The party is a pre-schoolers one after all. I think had they been school aged and you took another child its a bit off tbh, but not at this age.

Polgara2 · 14/04/2007 13:38

Why would anybody mind? You've made it quite clear to your dd that she's not 'going' to the party - what else are you supposed to do when you've no other option. Happens all the time here - no one minds in the least.

Marina · 14/04/2007 13:35

Have you rung the partygiver to check they are OK about it?
I wouldn't mind at all but I'd appreciate being asked first.

Trinityrhino · 14/04/2007 13:33

I wouldn't mind in the least

niceglasses · 14/04/2007 13:32

Well, I wouldn't mind but some pple do. I'm afraid I have done it (have 3 so sometimes necessary). I never mind if pple do it at mine - most are polite and don't expect food/bags as you say. I'm sure it will be fine.