To expect a friend not to allow her dd to behave like a complete unruly spoilt brat in my house

Can I just say, although I am extremely sorry for TTWM awful situation, it wouldn't change what I had posted - the basis of what i had written would still have been the same

Really sorry you're so upset

Am sure that was nobody's intention.

READ THE WHOLE THREAD!!

This thread could have been written by me 6 months ago. My duaghter was happy to share and beautifully mannered while spoilt screaming toddlers belonging to a couple of my friends wouldn't even let her play with a single toy. I smuggly congratulated myself on what a content, secure child she obviously was and how well I was teaching her to behave....

....then one day she woke up and starting being just as bad. It was as if a switch had been flicked and she simply couldn't share a single toy any more. Tantrums on the floor too. And impossible to rationalise with.

I must admit I feel more than slightly embarrassed.

So all I can say is...wait before you judge!

Another one of these threads where someone has another child in their house, child does normal childish bad behaviour things, person reaches all sorts of conclusions about the parent's lack of discipline etc.

could subsequent posters read the thread first please?

No, 3andnomore I'm English but I live in Wales now. My mum's Welsh and we were brought up with cwtch's Sooo much better than a plain old hug

I do feel for you these situations are never easy but on the subject of sharing ,the poor little girl has already had to share her mummy with new baby and now with new friend,my ds2 was perfectly OK with just me but if I tried to establish any sort of conversation with another adult after ds3 was born he was a complete nightmare and all sharing skills awent out of the window for 6 months ..just a thought that sometimes these things have more to them than just staight forward behaviour issues

Sorry, should have read first. about DS being an only child

hoola girl - I completely agree with your technique.

I don't think you should get upset with all (or any) disputes and where poss children should be allowed to sort it out for themselves but I think that hitting, scratching, biting etc. should be addressed. But then my views have been coloured by a nephew who was allowed to get away with everything when younger and now at the age of 6 apparently still thinks it's acceptable to hit grandma (and even worse a SIL who neither stops him nor tells him off for it)

And reaslly sorry to hear that an only child would not be your preference - must be bloody tough.

Haven't read the whole thread but I can only sympathise with this other woman who is juggling a baby and a 2.6 year old. I am juggling a 4 months old and a 2.9 year old am finding alot of it very hard atm, and I would really hope no-one would judge me or my DD1 on 2 experiences.

All children are different, my DD2 is v. rough and tumbly, she doesn't go to nursery but has lots of cousins/friends around her all the time. She has days where she is an angel, shares lovely and is absolutely lovely to be around - she also has days where she is a little sod, I could quite easily walk out of the back door and just leave her for 5 minutes to scream the house down because she hasn't got her own way and generally extremely hard work.
CONSIDERABLY HARDER WITH A BABY TOO

ttwm - look, it sound as if you have had a very hard afternoon, and were offloading. Trying to socialise with 2 year olds in the background is a constant strain.

I am a bit suspicu=ious of the nursery comment - she is either feeling a bit embarrassed about her dd and making excuses or is being a bit, I can't quite put my findger on it, but 'observational' about your ds. I would keep a watching brief on that, but otherwise, try again, but with expectations of chaos in the background.

You can hever her as YOUR friend you know, even if the children fight like mad!

Lact8...you welsh then, eh...

We face this situation quite a lot at the moment with a group of 3 year old boys. You can never tell which one of them is going to be the main offender on any given day and it only takes one of them to be tired, hunger or ill to end in an embarrassing tantrum.

My personal beef is the Mum that constantly threatens her DS with silly punishments....she's just hyper with him and he's learnt to ignore her completely. This ends up spiralling the whole thing and all the boys wade in then and winge and tell tales. Ignore it (within reason) and they soon stop and get on with playing.

We've all done it Greensleeves!

Sorry you're upset Thethirdwise.... remember, there are very many postives in being an only child

Aw thirdwisemonkey, we do seem to have pounced on you don't we?

Don't cry, go give your boy a big cwtch and find some Easter egg

My best friends ds and my dd play dreadfully together - he will attack her suddenly for no reason (usually if he is tired/hungry), and we can't let them out of our sight for one single second. It doesn't mean I won't see my friend, it just requires extra vigilance, although it can be tiring and annoying. I can see that it is just a phase with him, however, he is a ruffty-tufty sort of little boy iykwim, and has an older brother. I still love him to bits, and think it's just part and parcel of the horribleness of toddlers tbh. We're going on holiday with them in August for 2 weeks, and I'm really hoping they'll get on a bit better by then

If you really like the mum why don't you arrange to meet without the kids as well sometimes?

sorry don't mean to gang up on you but sounds perfectly normal to me too - I've had much much worse from my three and their friends. Get the wine out and chill.

I'm very sorry I upset you with the only child remark. It really was meant as a friendly nudge, not a damning criticism, but obviously it was insensitive and thoughtless of me. I really do apologise .

lol..the s enario discribe...well....we have that here on a daily basis...and that is just my Kids...lol....
I am not saying it's good to completely ignore...but then, I always had that "rule" with my freinds that we can say something to each others children, aswell...sometimes more effective, anyway...

Must say however she doesn't sound like a completely unruly spoilt brat

It is normal 2 yr old behaviour for many 2 year olds that's true (and was for both of mine at that age), but nevertheless I agree with you in that I would expect her mother to admonish her for failing to share / whacking her friend etc.